He knew exactly how I liked it; it was insane bliss. It was the reason I sped home from work every night. It was one of the reasons I knew he was the one—our maddening physical connection translated into every aspect of our relationship. Every last inch of me was wrapped around him. Everything.
He pushes in again until it aches, burying his head deep in the crook of my neck.
“Don’t stop,” I moan, slipping my fingers between us. I need to come so badly. Three weeks and four days… that’s how long it’s been.
Sex isn’t about me lately, and it hasn’t been for a while.
His teeth dig into my skin. “I can’t stop myself, baby. You feel so good.”
“Cole, please,” I beg, rubbing my fingers in circles. If he notices, he doesn’t acknowledge my need.
He thrusts all the way in. “Christ, Marley,” he murmurs against my skin as he releases into me. My heart sinks, but my desire is stuck at an all time high.
My orgasms have become as rare as a full moon. In less than an hour, it will be three weeks and five days since I last felt what it was like to clench around him over and over again.
My breathing is heavy. My fingers still. His head still pressed against my neck as his fingers run gently along my spine.
“Did I hurt you?” he whispers against my skin.
Not the way you’re thinking.
“I’m good,” I lie, leaning in to kiss his shoulder.
He cups my ass, sliding me off the counter. His hooded eyes stare deep into mine. That look he had on the day we said I do…I still see it there. It hasn’t disappeared completely, but the way he shows it has. How do I get that back?
He leans in, kissing the tip of my nose and each corner of my mouth followed by a simple peck on my lips.
“I love you,” he says softly, pulling away.
“I love you more.” I’ve said it for years, but lately I’ve wondered how much I believe it.
“Not possible.”
He slips the strap of my nightie back over my shoulder and adjusts his boxer briefs so we’re both covered. “I have to go out of town for a few days. I know I promised no more trips this month, but I—”
“You have a client that needs help on an emergency case,” I interrupt, wanting so badly to turn and walk out of the room. It’s the same excuse over and over again.
He cups my cheeks in his warm hands. “I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
“But this week—” I hold back the tears.
“I know. I tried to get out of it, but I’m the only one who has direct knowledge of this case.” The pads of his thumbs brush the puffy circles under my eyes. He should be the one to take them away since he put them there.
“What day?” he asks when I don’t speak up.
“Thursday,” I choke, my lower lip quivering. Seven months is a long time to wait to get pregnant, and it doesn’t help that my husband never seems to be around when I need him.
“Maybe we’ll get lucky and it’ll happen after tonight,” he says, pulling me in close to his warm body.
Pressing my palms to his chest, I try to put as much distance between us as possible.
“That’s three days, Cole. You promised—” He wraps his arms around me tighter, making it impossible to escape.
“I promise,” he whispers against my ear. “I promise if it doesn’t happen for us this month, I’ll be here next month. I know how much this means to you.” I choke down the tears that threaten to carve a path down my cheeks.
“Do you?” His grip loosens just enough he can stare down into my eyes.
“I want it to. If you don’t believe that then why are we even standing here talking about this?” I shrug in response, unable to find the right words. I don’t even know where to start, but this was not the way I pictured our night going.
He leans in to kiss my lips. “I’ll think about you every second I’m gone.”
I doubt that too.
“Why don’t you go get ready for bed? I have a quick phone call to make then I’ll join you.”
Without another word, I slip out from between him and the counter. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I curl up on my side of the bed fully aware I’ll drift off to sleep before he makes it to bed. To have and to hold doesn’t hold much weight for him. Not like it used to.
“You going to miss me?” he asks me the next morning. His arms wrap around me while I pour my first cup of coffee.
“I always do,” I reply honestly, resting my hand over his.
“I have a meeting scheduled at the office today that I need you to take care of for me. New client.”
“Give me a thirty second brief,” I say as his lips press into the curve of my neck.
“I don’t know too much about him yet. Beatrice tells me that he’s in town trying to close a deal on a vacant building downtown for some new restaurant nightclub venture. She told him I’d be out of town, but that my wife was more than capable of handling it.” He pauses and retracts. “Actually, the way she put it was ‘even more capable of handling it’. I don’t know what kind of bribes you’ve been throwing her behind my back, but they’re clearly working,” he teases, as his warm lips begin trailing up my neck.
His hands splay against my flat stomach then slowly skim down, gripping the bottom of my long, white t-shirt. The cotton brushes against my thighs until his hands find my bare ass, kneading it with the palms of his hands. “Maybe we can make a baby right now…before I go,” he whispers against my earlobe.
His hands move around to my stomach, traveling up to my exposed breasts. I gasp as he pinches my nipples between his fingers.
“Let go, baby,” he demands, pressing me forward until my cheek is pressed against the cold granite. My panties are yanked to my knees when I hear the sound of his zipper. Without hesitation he’s inside of me, pumping in and out with caveman-like vigor.
I want to touch him, to kiss him, to make love the way we used to; but this is it. This is how four years of marriage has been defined for us.
“Are you going to miss me, baby?” he asks, pulling on my ponytail. The sensation. The tingle. It’s almost enough to send me over the elusive edge.
“Yes!” I scream, barely able to catch my breath. “Touch me, Cole. I need you to touch me.”
His warm lips draw an invisible map down my back. “How do you want me to touch you, hmm? Tell me.”
“I want to come. Please make me come.” He finds the swollen spot between my legs, gently rubbing small circles as the pace of his thrusts quicken. It’s become a race of who will get there first. He speeds up once again, and I know he’s close.
He thrusts. The pressure inside of me builds.
I close my eyes tightly doing my best to stay in the moment—to think about nothing but the way he fills me. I imagine him shirtless and pinning me against the wall with his strong arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I imagine us in bed; his fully naked body covering mine in a continuous rhythm.
I’m on the verge of ultimate euphoria, but he’s so much closer. With one final deep thrust, he let’s go grunting behind me as his hand presses into my back. His fingers slip from between my legs and I wince.
Does he know what he’s doing to me? Or not doing?
“I better get going,” he says as he helps me up from the counter.
“Yeah, you better,” I answer, doing everything I can to not look him in the eyes. He’ll read me like a simple children’s book, and we don’t have time to sift through the disaster we’ve become before he jets off on his next trip. He brushes my hair away from my shoulder and kisses the back of my neck.
“I need to get ready for work,” I announce, glancing over at the clock on the microwave.
He spins me in his arms, giving me no choice but to look at him. If he sees sadness in my eyes, he doesn’t acknowledge it. He grips my hips, pulling me in for one last lingering kiss. I wish he touched me like this all the time … with this much emotion.