Oxygen
After I gave that talk at Renaissance Weekend, one person said to me, "you must love others first."
I respectfully disagree. It's like what they tell you during pre-flight instructions; in case of emergency, if oxygen masks drop from above, put yours on before you help someone else.
As I started to love myself, things inside me shifted. Fear strengthens the ego. Love softens it. I became more open, vulnerable. It was natural to be gentle with others, even when they weren't loving towards me. And the times it wasn't easy, I had the resources - the loop, the meditation, the question - to return to self-love.
There is a power in this. Rather than reacting to situations, I found myself choosing how I wanted to be. That, in turn, created better situations, and ultimately a far better life.
Where I want to be
Lying on my back on a hill, grass slightly tickling my neck. Beautiful sunny day, blue skies. Clouds drift above. Each, a thought. I watch, knowing them for what they are. Rather than attaching my experience of the present to them, I choose the ones I want to focus on. Or not focus on. Always my choice.
The thoughts come. Drifting, twisting, turning in shapes. It is their nature. I pick one for the moment, and then let it go, never attached. Simply experiencing what I choose. All through the filter of love. That's it.
End
This book could've been a cover, plus one almost-blank page with two words in the middle: Love yourself.
But if I had picked it up and read it, without knowing what I learned that summer, I wouldn't have applied it. At least not in a way that would transform my life. So, I've shared brief learnings, thoughts, and experiences. I could have filled it out more, but that only serves my ego. Rather, truth is simple. Truth is succinct.
I think that instead of reading loads of self-help books, attending various seminars, listening to different preachers, we should just pick one thing. Something that feels true for us. Then practice it fiercely.
Place our bet on it, then go all out. That's where magic happens. Where life blows away our expectations.
I found what to bet on. It came from a place of anguish, a place of "no more." But it doesn't have to be that way. It can come from a friend, a book, a lover. It can come from joy.
If something else feels true for you, then do that. I really don't think the details matter. What matters is the practice, the commitment to living your truth.
The results are worth it. I wish that for you.
Share
I wrote this book from the heart. To share something I learned, something that has been beautiful and transformative for me. Honestly, I was a little scared to do it. Putting myself out there like that.
But friends who applied the practice pushed me write it. If it wasn't for them, this book would not exist.
That is the beauty of learning, and then sharing. You grow. You share the lessons and help others grow. Here's the magic - they, in turn, make you grow. It's a natural cycle.
I hope you try out what I've shared here. It works.
If you would like to share it with your friends, please use the Facebook link below.
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About the author
I've been fortunate enough to have some amazing experiences in my life so far. I've trekked to one of the highest base camps in the Himalayas, meditated with Tibetan monks in the Dalai Lama’s monastery, earned my US Army Infantry patch, walked 550 miles across Spain, lived in Paris, been the only non-black, non-woman member of the Black Women’s writers’ group, written a novel, held the hands of dying patients, and worked with some of the best people in Silicon Valley.
But the most transformative experience has been the simple act of loving myself.
You can find me online here:
Books: author page
Twitter: @kamalravikant
Blog: founderzen.com
Please feel free to email me at k@founderzen.com
I'd be honored if you reviewed this book on Amazon. Thank you.