“What did they do?” I asked engrossed in the twisted tale he was spinning before me.
I couldn’t imagine it getting any crazier, but boy was I wrong.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
April 14, 2010…
It had been exactly two months since my disastrous breakup with Jamieson, if you could even call it a breakup. It was more like a wake up instead of a breakup. I think you have to actually be dating someone to breakup with them and I’m not sure you can actually be in a relationship with someone you don’t know at all. So I have decided that we weren’t actually together it was all just a figment of my imagination, or that is what I just keep telling myself as a sad attempt to feel better.
I haven’t talked to him since that day nor has he tried to contact me. I had thought he may chase after me as I ran away from his mansion of horrors but nope. There had been no contact, complete radio silence. I vowed to myself that night as I sped down his private drive that I would never go back to that house and I most certainly would never speak to him again, it was done.
“Happy Birthday, Jens!” My sister called from down the barn aisle. She was just putting one of her favorite horses away after her ride.
“Thanks.” I said glumly walking toward her.
I watched as she brushed down the horse and leaned against the stall door. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. It was my birthday and I was miserable. I literally felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and then stomped on. I didn’t care that it was my birthday I just wanted to be left alone, but I had agreed to come over to my sister's for a birthday dinner.
“Everyone is up at the house,” she told me. Jacks and Lukas had built a beautiful home on the farm property. It was convenient having the house so close to the barn for Jacks.
“I’ll go find them.” I turned to head in that direction.
“Jens…wait.” Jacks had stopped brushing the horse and walked toward me.
“What?” I asked.
“How are you doing? Are you okay? You look like absolute shit,” she asked giving me a half smile.
“I don’t really know anymore. Some days are better than others, today is not so great.” I replied shrugging my shoulders.
“Has he tried to contact you?” she quizzed.
“Nope.”
“Have you tried to contact him?”
“Hell no!” I snapped.
“I was just asking. I could understand if you had,” she said softly.
“I refuse to chase after someone who clearly doesn’t want me and probably never did.” I told her defiantly.
“Do you really think that?” Jacks questioned.
“Do I really believe I won’t chase him? Or do I really believe he never wanted me?” I asked confused at her question.
“Do you really think he never wanted you?” she clarified.
I let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know Jacks. I just don’t know anymore. I never thought he would have done what he did so I have no clue.”
She thought about what I said as she went past me to put her brushes away in the tack room. I rolled the stall door shut and followed her.
“Do you want to know what I think?” she asked.
“Sure.”
“Alright you need to sit down for this,” she said pointing towards a huge tack box across from her.
I obliged her and sat down.
“I think he loved you or does love you—”
I cut her off immediately. “Jacks, you know that’s not true.”
“Look do you want to hear what I have to say or not?”
“Yes.” I said in defeat. I knew this wasn’t going to be what I wanted to hear but I also knew my sister was wise beyond her years and whatever she had to tell me would help heal my wounds.
“The reason I say I think he loved you is because this is exactly what I went through with Ethan.” she stated coolly, leaning back against her big wood desk in the corner of the tack room. “I know I haven’t told you the whole story of what happened between Ethan and I but now is probably the right time to share it. We were in love, that I have absolutely no doubt of. We were insane for each other. We spent every waking minute with each other. It happened fast and I just knew. He awakened something in me that I didn’t know was there and I knew I did the same for him. Thinking back about it, it was mad. I had never felt like that before. The way he made me feel was out of this world, Jenna. I know you know what I’m talking about because I could see that is how Jamieson made you feel. I could also see that he felt the same about you. The way he looked at you said it all. He was wrapped up in you.” Jacks paused and let out a breath. I could see she was reliving the things with her and Ethan.
“What happened with you and Ethan?” I asked softly.
Jacks eyes settled on me but I could tell she was miles away back in time. “He cheated on me.”
“Did you walk in on him like I did with Jamieson?” I asked curiously.
“No, I think I would have preferred that to what really happened. Do you remember three years ago when cousin Emily was getting married?” Emily and her sister Amy were our only cousins. My mother was an only child and my father had only one sister. Growing up we had spent a fair amount of time with Emily and Amy but as we got older we grew apart.
“Yeah. I couldn’t go because it was during exams.” I was confused what cousin Emily’s wedding had to do with any of this.
“Well, it was the night of the rehearsal dinner. I had decided not to bring a date even though I wanted desperately to ask Ethan but it was such a new relationship I just didn’t know if that was right to invite him. I knew he had something he had to do that weekend anyways so I decided to not mention it to him. God I wish I could go back in time.” She said to herself catching her breath before she continued. “When I got to the restaurant I was the last to arrive. I walked in and everyone was already sitting down, but when I got close to the table I saw him. He was there. He was sitting between Amy and Aunt Desiree. I was so confused at him being there. At first I thought maybe he was surprising me but then I saw he was holding Amy’s hand and I felt sick. I tried to retreat but Mom saw me and ushered me into my seat. She then proceeded to go around the table and introduce me to everyone and when she got to Ethan she said he was Amy’s boyfriend.”
“Oh God Jacks! I’m so sorry, that is horrible. What did you do? What did he say?” I asked hurriedly.
“I didn’t make a scene I quietly sat in my chair and carried on conversations around me. I could tell he was freaking out though. He looked petrified. I wanted to freak out and yell and scream but I knew that would only ruin Emily’s day so I refrained. As soon as dinner was over I left. I knew Mom could tell something was wrong with me but she thankfully left me alone. When I got home he was there waiting for me. I tried to push past him into my door but he refused to leave.” Jacks closed her eyes and I could tell she was willing herself not to cry. My heart broke for her. At least Jamieson had cheated on me with some random bimbos and not my freaking cousin.
“I can’t believe he was cheating on you with cousin Amy,” I told her in shock.
“He wasn’t really; he was cheating on Amy with me. He explained to me that they had been dating for almost a year and were on a break, whatever that means. He said she wanted to get married but he wasn’t sure so he suggested they take a break. Well it seems I was the stupid break. He told me he loved me. He begged for me to forgive him for not telling him but I couldn’t understand if they were on a break why he was there at the wedding acting like Amy’s boyfriend. It didn’t make sense and I knew that anything built on such a lie would never survive so I ended it. I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him and that was the last time I spoke to him. When I saw him at the wedding he looked miserable but I was unwavering. I didn’t want anything to do with him. I knew that love couldn’t grow out of such deceit. At the time I was convinced it was all a lie and he never did love me but now years later watching you go through something similar I see things differently. I know that Ethan and I had been in love. I know that because of the way he made me feel. No one has ever made me feel that way and I know there is no one out there that can, only love can do that.”