“I missed you,” I whispered into the darkness of the room.
“I missed you more,” he said and I could tell he was smiling.
After a long while he tucked me back in against his side. I could tell he was starting to drift off to sleep so I mustered the courage to say one last thing to him while our emotions were still raw and hanging in darkness.
“Please don’t hurt me, Jamieson. I can’t take it, not again.” My voice was barely a whisper and I was unsure I even truly said it out loud until he reached over and brushed my long blonde hair away from my cheek.
“I will do my best, Jenna, I will do my best.”
It wasn’t exactly the promise I was hoping for, but at least he knew I was scared of being hurt again. I was taking a huge risk and I knew it. I wasn’t naïve in that fact. I was offering up my heart yet again on silver platter. My only hope is that he had changed enough to not repeat the past.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
July 4, 2013…
“Yes, I’ll be there at 6:30,” I told Cain over the phone as I waited in line at Starbucks for my iced coffee.
His parents were having a huge Fourth of July party in Mobile so I was driving down to join him. They had a gorgeous house on the water and I’m sure it would have a fantastic view of the fireworks show. I was a bit bummed I wouldn’t be celebrating with Audrey and Livy. Audrey had recently broken up with Brad, the med school guy. The long distance thing wasn’t really working for them and Brad was exceedingly busy at school. At first Audrey seemed devastated, but now I was pretty sure she was bouncing back just fine. The girls were going to the fireworks show on the Tennessee River which I was sure would be super fun. I was a bit jealous. I was happy to spend time with Cain, but I wasn’t thrilled at spending the weekend with his family, especially his sister.
“Jenna?” I heard my name and turned around to see who was calling me.
As soon as I scanned the coffee shop I immediately saw who had said my name. A grinning Ethan Wellington smiled mischievously back at me.
“Hi Ethan,” I greeted him, leaving my spot in line and walking over to his table.
“Long time no -see,” he commented, still smiling at me. “You living here now?”
“Yes I moved back a couple of months ago.”
He however lost focus on our conversation and stared passed me. I turned expecting to see a long legged blonde or something similar he was tracking, but much to my surprise the person Ethan had been watching was most definitely not a girl, it was his brother.
“Jamieson,” I said in half question, half statement.
“Hello Jenna,” he greeted me quietly as he approached.
Ethan watched us intently and smiled slyly. “Well this reunion has been lovely but I think I will be taking my leave now. James, I’ll be in the car when you’re ready.”
“What are you doing here?” I demanded.
“I live here,” he offered simply.
“But I thought you moved to London.” I was still confused.
“I did but I moved back a little over a year ago.”
“Oh,” is all I could say in return. I was in shock that he was actually sitting in this coffee shop talking to me. It had been so long since I had last seen him. It was surreal now being near him.
“I hear you’re living here again too,” he said lightly not looking at me directly.
“Yes, I moved back after graduation.” The minute the word graduation hit my lips I remembered his gift, the diamond pendent. I had tried to mail it to him but it was returned.
“Congratulations by the way.” He stared at me coldly.
“I got your gift.”
This caught his attention and he finally looked at me again. “Good.”
“I can’t accept it,” I told stoically.
“You already have.”
His response pissed me off. “I tried to send it back but it was returned.”
“I know that.” What a dick.
“Well then you know I don’t want it.”
“So don’t keep it,” he suggested.
“Give me your address and I will mail it to you.”
“I don’t want it back, Jenna, it was a gift to you. Do what you would like with it.”
“Fine,” I spat at him turning to leave.
“Jenna…” he called after me.
“What?” I spun back around.
“I hope you’re happy,” he said with honesty in his eyes.
“And if I’m not?” I don’t really know why I said that to him. It wasn’t as if I was unhappy, it was more that I didn’t understand why he would care either way.
He took a deep breath and stood up clutching my arm tightly. “Then I promise you I will do everything in my power to make sure you will be.”
I scanned his face looking for answers to why he would say something like that, but he gave nothing away. I shrugged out of grasp and glared at him.
“Yeah right, like you care.” I stormed out forgetting my coffee.
“What do you mean you saw Jamieson?” Audrey exclaimed.
“I saw him at the coffee shop near my house this morning,” I repeated into the phone as I drove to the coast.
“Oh no. What did you do? Did you talk to him?” she inquired.
“Yeah. I saw his brother, Ethan first and thought he was alone so I walked over to his table to talk to him. Out of nowhere, Jamieson showed up. It was so bad Audrey. I’m so upset right now,” I confessed to her.
“It’s going to be okay. We just need to talk it out,” she reassured me.
“Okay.”
“So what did he say?”
“He was just being his nonchalant self. Apparently he moved back to Huntsville a while ago. I told him I tried to send back the necklace he gave me for graduation and he said he knew. I told him I would give it to him but he refused it. He said for me to just do whatever I wanted with it.”
“Oh geez, he’s living here now? That is definitely trouble.”
“Audrey! You are supposed to be helping me not giving me more anxiety,” I scolded her.
“Sorry! Okay, well how did you feel when you saw him? Were you disgusted?”
I thought about it for a minute before answering her. “I wasn’t disgusted. I thought I would be if I saw him again. I thought I would be so angry but I wasn’t. I was upset for sure, but I mainly just felt confused.”
“What were you confused about?” Audrey asked digging deeper into my feelings.
I hesitated. I didn’t want to totally confess to her but I knew Audrey wouldn’t judge me, she would just listen. Just one of the many reasons I loved her so much.
“I was confused because seeing him I was excited. When I saw him I felt all of those old feelings instantly but then I remembered what he had done, how bad he hurt me,” I confessed.
“Did they go away when you remembered he broke your heart?”
“No my excitement to see him just turned to disappointment, but I still felt something for him even though I didn’t want to.”
“Oh Jenna…” Audrey sighed.
“I don’t want to have feelings for him. I know I should hate him. I know he broke my heart. I know I can never trust him again. Plus I’m happy with Cain. Cain is what I need. He’s sweet and we make sense, way more sense than Jamieson and I ever did.”
“Jenna, if Cain isn’t the one, don’t try to force him to be.”
“I know, Audrey and I promise you I won’t force anything. I do love Cain though. He treats me well and he’s what I need. I would be lucky if he was the one,” I assured her.
“Alright, just remember I support you no matter what.”
“Thanks friend. I need to let you go, I’m almost to Cain’s,” I said before we said our final goodbyes.
I needed to just digest everything that had happened earlier. I switched the radio on and rocked out to the cool ramblings of the Arkells.