“Come watch me, Aunt Enna!” Libby hollered from on top her pony pulling me back to reality.
“Okay, I’m watching,” I told her hanging over the three-panel fence of the outdoor arena.
“Alright I’m going to jump now!” She shouted as she kicked her pony into a trot.
I watched as she took the chubby white pony over a set of three low oxers.
“Awesome job, Libs!” I yelled to her.
“She certainly takes after her Mother and Aunt.”
I snapped my head around stunned to see Jamieson leaning against the fence with me.
“She does,” I beamed with pride.
“There is no stopping her now,”
“There definitely isn’t.” I agreed.
We continued to watch Libby jump another set of low jumps.
“Jenna, can we talk?” he asked cautiously.
“Uh, yeah what’s up?” I knew he was asking for a more serious talk but I was hoping I could just ignore that fact.
“Will you walk with me?” he said pulling away from the fence.
“Yeah just let me make sure Grayson can watch Libby.”
Grayson was just coming out to ride another horse so I jumped down from the fence to ask him.
“No problem. I have a few more to ride today so I will keep an eye on her. Not that she needs it,” he said smiling at her.
“Thanks Grayson,” I told him and walked toward Jamieson.
Jamieson led the way past the barns toward the large back field.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked finally.
He stopped walking so I did the same. “I think it is time we talk about what happened, Jenna.”
“Alright.” I knew this day was coming and now I dreaded it was here, pretending was so much easier.
“I need to explain fully what happened in Vegas. I need you to understand,” he said intensely.
“Jamieson…” I didn’t really know what to say to try to stop him so I just let his name hang in the air.
“No Jenna. We need to discuss this. I need you to hear me out,” he protested.
“Okay,” I said softy.
“You know that I came to Vegas to see you and to stop you from marrying Cain. But I don’t think you really understand why.” He sighed and paced in front of me running his hands through his hair. “When I found out that he was cheating on you, I knew I had to stop you from marrying him. At first I told myself I was just going to tell you what I knew and let you decide what to do from there. I convinced myself it was the least I could do for betraying you all those years ago. I thought maybe then I would be able feel less guilty about the things I had done to hurt you. But when I saw you…I knew. I knew that things weren’t over between us. I could tell you still had feelings for me. So instead of telling you that night in my hotel room that Cain was cheating on you, I tried another tactic, I confessed my feelings for you and I prayed you would choose me. But you didn’t. You left, or tried to leave the suite but you got sick. You drank so much that night, which was also partly my fault. I should have tried to slow you down.”
He paused looking at me for reassurance but my face gave nothing away. I didn’t know what to think about what he was saying. It didn’t really change the fact he had lied and betrayed me yet again.
“But I still don’t understand why you then lied to me about being married? Why did I wake up with two huge diamond rings on my finger? And whose were they? Trinity’s? ” When everything first came out that night I hadn’t had the presence of mind to really think about why Jamieson had an engagement ring and wedding band but as time wore on, I had wondered if they were in fact the ones he had bought for Trinity.
“No! God, no. They were yours,” he snapped back quickly startling me.
I watched him intensely as his face went from defensive to shameful. “I had bought them in Aspen when I took you there to meet my family for Christmas. I was going to ask you to marry me then, but like a coward I let Uncle Phillip persuade me not to.”
“You were going to propose?” I asked astonished.
He watched me carefully. “Yes, Jenna I was. I loved you so much and I wanted nothing more than to take you as my wife.”
“Did you tell me this that night in Vegas? Did you show me the rings or something?” I was still confused as to how I ended up wearing them.
“No. After you passed out I stayed awake worried you might get sick again. I sat next to you for hours just thinking. I knew it was going to be the last time I would see you.” He looked at me intently. His eyes looked weary from so much pain. “While you slept I slipped your engagement ring off and slid the rings I bought you in its place. I told myself I just had to see you wearing them, even if it was just once and you knew nothing of it.”
He was ashamed by his actions that much was clear. He stopped looking at me and hung his head. “I fell asleep before I could switch the rings back. And when you woke up I was in the shower. I had decided that morning I was going to tell you about Cain and let you go on your way, but it all went to hell when you started jumping to conclusions about what happened the night before. But as I realized you didn’t remember anything about the night I saw an opportunity and like a selfish prick, I took it.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me what Cain was doing? Why did you have to lie?” I demanded stepping into his space forcing him to look at me again.
“Because I was worried he would convince you to stay with him. One thing I learned from the private investigator I hired to follow that bastard was he was cunning. He seemed to have favors all over the state and I was worried he would manipulate you into staying with him. So when you started freaking out thinking we had slept together, it hit me…if Cain thought your reputation was tarnished he may finally show his true colors. So I went with it. I noticed you were still wearing the rings, so I pointed them out to you knowing full well what you would deduce from them. I made you think we were married, Jenna. I lied to you, I manipulated you and I betrayed you because I couldn’t let you marry that asshole.”
My head spun from everything Jamieson was telling me. I watched in the distance as the high grass in the field blew in the wind like a majestic ocean wave. I tried to remember something from that night but still there was nothing. “How do I know you are telling me the truth now? You have a habit of lying to me.”
He let out a deep sigh before answering me. “I have lied to you, Jenna. I have been a selfish prick in more ways than one, but I swear to you it’s the truth. I know that means very little but it’s all I have to offer.”
“How could I ever trust you again?” I asked him barely above a whisper. “You know the first time you broke my heart, you let your uncle convince you that I was just a mere distraction to his master plan. This time you broke my heart because you didn’t trust that I would make the right decision if I knew the truth. How do I know you won’t hurt me like that again?”
Jamieson closed the distance between us and grabbed onto my shoulders staring deep into my eyes. “Listen to me, Jenna. I know I have made so many mistakes, but I promise you I will make it up to you. I should have been honest with you about Cain and let you make your own decision. I was an asshole and I chose instead to manipulate you. But I won’t apologize for breaking up your engagement. And yes, I screwed up all those years ago. I let my Uncle force me into making a horrible choice, but I learned from that mistake too. I learned that I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you and I will do whatever it takes to win you back.”
“You will?” I eyed him suspiciously.
“Yes, I will.” His words were simple, fierce.
“Alright,” I said barely above a whisper. I wasn’t totally sure what I was agreeing to, but I also knew that I couldn’t bear the thought of giving him up. In the last month I had come to rely on Jamieson more than I ever have in my life. If I had learned anything from watching Jacks struggle with the loss of her husband, it was to not waste time. I knew I needed him and it was clear he needed me as well.