She was his first priority, even above the king shit. His Beth was the heart behind his ribs, the marrow in his bones, the soul in his physical body.
“It’s just so sad,” she said. “So damned sad.”
“You’ve been to see her?”
“Just now. She’s resting. I mean…on some level, I can’t believe there’s nothing that can be done.”
“You talk to Doc Jane?”
“As soon as they all got back from the clinic.”
As his shellan cried a little, the fresh-rain scent of his beloved’s tears was like a knife in the chest—and he was not surprised at her reaction. He’d heard that females dealt with the loss of another’s pregnancy badly—then again, how could they not relate? He sure as shit could put himself in Qhuinn’s boots.
And oh, God…the idea of Beth suffering like that? Or worse, if she were to carry to term and—
Great. Now he had a case of the quakes.
Wrath put his face in his Beth’s hair, breathing in, calming himself. The good news was that they were never going to have young, so he wouldn’t have to worry about that.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Me, too. I hate this for both of them.”
Well, actually, he was apologizing for something else entirely.
It wasn’t that he wanted anything shitty to happen to Qhuinn or Layla or their young. But maybe if Beth saw this sad reality, she’d be reminded of all the risks that presented themselves every step of the way when it came to pregnancy.
Fuck. That sounded horrible. That was horrible. For chrissakes, he honestly didn’t want this for Qhuinn, and he really didn’t want his shellan upset, either. Unfortunately, however, the sad truth was that he had absolutely no interest in placing his seed within her like that—ever.
And that kind of desperation made a guy think unforgivable things.
In a surge of paranoia, he mentally calculated the number of years since her transition—just over two. From what he understood, the average vampire female had her first needing about five years after the change, and then every ten years or so thereafter. So by all accounts, they had some time before they had to worry about all this….
Then again, as a half-breed, there was no way to be sure in Beth’s case. When humans and vampires mixed, anything could happen—and he did have some reason to be conerned. She had, after all, mentioned kids once or twice before.
But surely that had to be in the hypothetical.
“So are you going to hold off on Qhuinn’s induction?” she said.
“Yeah. Saxton is done updating the laws, but with Layla being where she’s at? Not the right time to bring him into the Brotherhood.”
“That’s what I thought.”
The two of them fell silent, and as Wrath took the moment to heart, he couldn’t possibly imagine his life without her.
“Do you know something?” he said.
“What?” There was a smile in her voice, the kind that told him she had a clue about what he was going to say.
“I love you more than anything.”
His queen laughed a little, and stroked his face. “I would never have guessed.”
Hell, even he caught the surge of his bonding scent.
In response, Wrath cupped her face and leaned in, finding her lips and taking them in a soft kiss—that didn’t stay that way. Man, it was always like this with her. Any contact at all and before he knew it, he was hard and ready.
God, he didn’t know how human men handled it. From what he understood, they had to wonder whether their mates were fertile every single damn time they had sex—evidently, they couldn’t pick up on the subtle changes of their females’ scents.
He’d go fucking insane. At least when a female vampire was in her needing, everyone knew it.
Beth shifted in his lap, compressing his hard-on, making him groan. And usually, this was the cue for George to be led across to the double doors and temporarily banished. But not tonight. As much as Wrath wanted her, the pall in the house was putting a damper on even his libido.
And then there was Autumn’s needing. Now Layla’s.
He wasn’t going to lie; the shit was making him tetchy. Hormones in the air had been known to have a ricochet effect in a house full of females, influencing one and then another and then a third into her needing, assuming she was fairly close to her time.
Wrath stroked Beth’s hair and retucked his queen’s head into his shoulder.
“You don’t want to…”
As she let the sentence drift, he took her hand and lifted it up, feeling the heavy Saturnine Ruby that the queen of the race had always worn.
“I just want to hold you,” he said. “It’s enough for me right now.”
Nestling in, she fit herself even more closely to him. “Well, this is nice, too.”
Yeah. It was.
And curiously terrifying.
“Wrath?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you okay?”
It was a little while before he could answer, before he trusted his voice to be calm, and level, and no BFD. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just fine.”
As he smoothed her arm, running his hand up and down her biceps, he prayed that she believed it…and vowed that what was happening just one door down the hall would never, ever happen to them.
Nope. That crisis was not anything the pair of them were going to have to deal with.
Thanks be to the Scribe Virgin.
FORTY-TWO
Layla wasn’t sleeping, of course.
When she’d told Qhuinn to go, she had meant the things she’d said about not wanting to keep up a front with him around. But the funny thing was, even with nobody in the room with her, she didn’t get hysterical. No tears. No cursing.
She just lay on her side with her arms and legs curled up, her mind receding deep into her body, the constant monitoring of every ache and cramp a compulsion that was making her crazy. There was no changing that, however. It was as if some part of her was convinced that if she could only know what stage she was in, she could somehow have some control over the process.
Which was, of course, bullshit. As Qhuinn would say.
The image of him in the clinic, with his dagger at the healer’s throat, was like something out of one of the books in the Sanctuary’s library—a dramatic episode that was part of someone else’s life.
Her vantage point on the bed, however, reminded her that that was not the case….
The knock on her door was soft, which suggested it was a female.
Layla closed her eyes. As much as she appreciated whatever kindness was awaiting a response, she would have so much preferred that whoever it was stayed out in the hall. The queen’s brief visit had been taxing, even though she’d appreciated it.
“Yes.” When her voice didn’t carry farther than her own ears, she cleared her throat. “Yes?”
The door opened, and at first she didn’t recognize who it was from the shadow that filled the space between the jambs. Tall. Strong. Not a male, though…
“Payne?” she said.
“May I come in?”
“Yes, of course.”
As Layla went to sit up, the warrior female motioned her to lie down, and then shut them both in together. “No, no, please…be at ease.”
One lamp had been left on over at the bureau, and in the gentle light, the blooded sister of the Black Dagger Brother Vishous was quite fearsome, her diamond eyes seeming to sparkle out of the strong angles of her face.
“How ever are you?” the female asked softly.