The doors shut. The toilet flushed with a gurgle. The shower came on.
John went back to the chair he’d been in, his gut empty, and not just because he hadn’t eaten since the night before. Worry was all he knew. Concern the breath he drew into his chest. Anxiety the very beat of his heart.
This was the flip side of the parent/child relationship. Where the son worried about the father.
Assuming he and Tohr still had that whole connection going on.
He wasn’t sure. The Brother had stared at him like he was a stranger.
John’s foot ticked off the seconds, and he rubbed his palms on his thighs. Strange, everything else that had happened, even the stuff with Lash, seemed unreal and unimportant. There was only the now with Tohr.
When the door opened nearly an hour later, he went still.
Tohr was wearing a robe, and his hair was mostly detangled, though the beard was still ragged.
In that loose, unreliable shuffle, the Brother went back to the bed and stretched out with a groan, settling awkwardly into the pillows.
Is there anything I can-
“This is not where I wanted to end up, John. I’m not going to front. This is not… where I want to be.”
Okay, John signed. Okay.
As silence stretched, in his mind, he had the conversation he wanted to have with Tohr: Qhuinn and Blay ended up here, and Qhuinn’s parents are dead, and Lash is… I don’t know what to say about him… There’s a female I like, but she’s out of my league, and I’m in the war and I missed you and I want you to be proud of me and I’m scared and I miss Wellsie and are you all right?
And most important… Please say you’re not leaving again. Ever. I need you.
Instead, he rose to his feet and signed, I guess I’ll leave you to rest. If you need anything-
“I’m tight.”
Okay. Yeah. Okay…
John pulled at the hem of his T-shirt and turned away. As he walked to the door, he couldn’t breathe.
Oh, please let him not run into anyone on the way to his room-
“John.”
He stopped. Pivoted back around.
As he met Tohr’s weary navy blue stare, John felt like his knees were having an out-of-socket experience.
Tohr closed his eyes and opened his arms.
John ran to the bed and grabbed on to his father for everything he was worth. He buried his face in what was once a broad chest and listened to the heart that still beat inside of it. Of the two of them he held on harder, not because Tohr didn’t care, but because he hadn’t the strength.
They both cried until there was no more breath with which to wail.
Chapter Fifty-two
Triggers didn’t have to be on guns to be trouble, Phury thought as he stared at ZeroSum’s glass-and-steel facade.
Shit, detox was about the body banging through a shift in chemistry. It didn’t do jack dick for the cravings that were in your head. And, sure the wizard was smaller than him, but the bastard still hadn’t left. And Phury had the sense it was going to be a long while before the voice did.
With a kick to his own ass, he walked up to the bouncer, who gave him an odd look, but let him in. Inside, he didn’t pay any attention to the crowd, which as usual parted to make way for him. He didn’t nod at the bouncer standing at the velvet rope in front of the VIP section. He didn’t say anything to iAm, who let him into Rehv’s office.
“To what do I owe this pleasure,” Rehvenge said from behind his desk.
Phury stared at his dealer.
Rehv was wearing a standard-issue black suit about which there was nothing standard. The fit was gorgeous, even though the male was sitting down, and the fabric gleamed under the low lights, a clear indication that there was a bit of silk in the weave. The lapels lay perfectly flat on a powerful chest, and the sleeves showed precisely the right amount of shirt cuff.
Rehv frowned. “I can feel your emotions from here. You’ve done something.”
Phury had to laugh. “Yeah, you might say that. And I’m on the way to Wrath’s now, because I have some serious ’splainin’ to do. I came here first, though, because my shellan and I need a place to stay.”
Rehvenge’s brows shot up over his amethyst eyes. “Shellan? Wow. Not Chosen anymore?”
“No.” Phury cleared his throat. “Look, I know you have houses. Like, multiples. I want to know if I can rent one for a couple of months. I need a lot of rooms. A lot.”
“Brotherhood mansion too full?”
“No.”
“Mmm.” Rehv tilted his head to the side, the shaved parts of his mohawk smooth. “Wrath has other places, doesn’t he? And I know your brother V does. I’ve heard he’s got a BDSM pad somewhere. Hafta admit I’m surprised you came to me.”
“Just figured I’d start with you.”
“Mmm.” Rehv stood up and relied on his cane as he went over and opened a sliding panel behind his desk. “Nice out fit, by the way. You get it at Victoria’s Secret? ’Scuse me for one sec.”
As the male went into the bedroom that was revealed, Phury glanced down at himself. No wonder those people had been giving him strange looks. He was wearing his white satin robing from the other side.
Rehv came out a moment later. In his hands, he had a pair of black alligator-skin loafers with telltale bridle bit links.
He dropped the Guccis at Phury’s feet. “You might want to slip your bare soles into these. And I’m sorry, I don’t have anything you can rent.”
Phury took a deep breath. “Okay. Thanks-”
“But you can live in my great camp in the Adirondacks for free. For as long as you want.”
Phury blinked. “I can p-”
“If you’re about to say you can pay me, fuck you. Like I said, I don’t have anything you can rent. Trez can meet you up there, give you the codes. You’ll see me right before dawn after the first Tuesday of every month, but other than that you’ll have the place to yourselves.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Maybe someday you’ll return a favor. And we’ll just leave it at that.”
“My honor is yours.”
“And my shoes are yours. Even after you get your own back.”
Phury arranged the pair, then slid into them. They fit perfectly. “I’ll bring them-”
“Nope. Consider it a mating gift.”
“Well… thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I know you like Gucci-”
“Not for the loafers, actually, although they are fabulous. I meant… for putting me on the no-buy list. I know Z talked to you.”
Rehv smiled. “So you’re getting clean, huh.”
“I’m going to do my best to stop.”
“Mmm.” That amethyst stare narrowed. “I think you’re going to make it, too. You’ve got that kind of resolve I’ve seen in the eyes of people who come into my office a lot, and then one night, for whatever reason, they decide never to come again. And that is that. It’s good to see.”
“Yeah. You’re not going to catch me around here anymore.”
Rehv’s phone went off, and as he checked the caller, he frowned. “Hold up. You might be interested in this. It’s the de facto head of the Princeps Council.” As he picked up, the male’s voice was part impatience, part boredom. “I’m doing all right. You? Yeah. Yeah. Terrible, yeah. No, I’m still in town, call me a stalwart.”
Rehv leaned back in his chair and played with his envelope opener, the one that was shaped like a dagger. “Yup. Uh-huh. Right. Yeah, I know, the vacuum in leadership is- Excuse me?” Rehv let the opener fall onto the blotter. “What did you say? Oh, really. Well, what about Marissa? Ah. Indeed. And I’m not surprised…”
Phury had to wonder exactly what kind of bomb had just been dropped.
After a while, Rehv cleared his throat. Then a slow smile spread across his face. “Well, then, considering how you feel… I’d love to. Thank you.” He hung up and his eyes lifted. “Guess who the new leahdyre of the Council is?”