"Darius. D was left handed."
John stared down at his left hand. His father.
"And you move like him," Z murmured. "It's eerie as fuck, to be honest. It's like I'm looking at him."
Really?
"Yeah, he was smooth. Like you are. Anyway. Whatever." Z clapped him on the shoulder. "Lefty. Go figure."
John watched the Brother leave, then looked at his palm again.
Not for the first time, he wondered what his father had looked like. Sounded like. Acted like. God, what he wouldn't give for some information on the male.
Maybe someday he could ask Zsadist. But he was afraid of getting emotional.
If only there was another way.
Jane backed her car into her garage and cursed at the time as she cut the engine. Eleven thirty-four. She was two and a half hours late to meet V at her place.
It had been a prime case of delayed departure. She'd had her coat on and her bag packed, but on the way to the door all sorts of medical staff had come up to her with question after question. Then one of the patients had taken a turn for the worse in the chute, and she'd had to examine the woman, then talk to the family.
She'd texted Vishous that she'd gotten tied up. Then again when she had to stay even longer. He'd hit her back saying it was fine. But then she'd called when she'd gotten stuck on a detour on the way home, and she'd gone to voice mail.
She got out of the car as the garage door eased shut. She was excited to see Vishous, but exhausted too. They'd spent the night before doing a whole lot of not sleeping, and she'd had a long day.
As she came in through the kitchen she called out, "I'm so sorry I'm late."
"It's cool," he said from the living room.
She came around the corner… and stopped. Vishous was sitting on the couch in the dark, his legs crossed. His leather jacket was next to him, and so was a wrapped bunch of calla lilies. He was still as a frozen lake.
Shit.
"Hi," she said as she dumped her coat and bag on her parents' dining room table.
"Hey." He uncrossed his thighs and planted his elbows on his knees. "Everything at the hospital okay?"
"Yeah. Just busy." She sat down next to the flowers. "These are lovely."
"Got them for you."
"I'm really sorry-"
He stopped her with his hand. "You don't have to be. I can imagine how it is."
As she measured him, she knew he wasn't trying to guilt her or anything; he was just disappointed. Which somehow made her feel worse. If he'd been unreasonable, that was one thing, but this quiet resignation from a man as powerful as him was hard to bear.
"You look tired," he said. "I think the kindest thing I can do is put you in bed."
She leaned back and gently stroked one of the flowers with her forefinger. She liked that he didn't go average with roses or even the white kind of calla lily. These were a deep peach tone. Unusual. Beautiful. "I thought about you today. Alot."
"Did you?" Though she wasn't looking at him, she heard the smile in his voice. "What did you think about?"
"Everything. Nothing. How much I wish I were sleeping next to you every night."
She didn't tell him she'd turned down the Columbia opportunity. Letting that go didn't sit right, but then, trying for a position in New York City where she'd have even more responsibility just didn't seem like a smart thing to do if the goal was to spend more, not less, time with V. She still wanted to be in charge, but you had to sacrifice things in life to get what you wanted. And the idea that you could have it all was such a fallacy.
A yawn sprang up her throat and opened her mouth. Shit, she was tired.
V stood and put out his hand. "Up you go. You can sleep next to me for a while."
She let herself be led upstairs, stripped, and pushed into the shower. She waited for him to join her, but he shook his head.
"If I start with that shit, I'm going to keep you up for the next two hours." His eyes latched onto her breasts and flashed with light. "Oh… Christ… I'll just… Fuck, I gotta wait for you outside."
She smiled as he shut the glass shower door and his big black shape stalked off into the bedroom. Ten minutes later she came out, scrubbed, flossed, brushed, and in one of her nightshirts.
Vishous had straightened the duvet, arranged her pillows, and folded the sheets back. "In," he commanded.
"I hate taking orders," she murmured.
"But you'll do it from me. On occasion." He swatted her butt lightly as she slid in. "Get comfortable."
She arranged everything where she wanted it to be as he went around and lay down on top of the bed. When he pushed his arm under her head and cuddled up close, she thought, God, he smelled good. And that soothing hand running up and down her waist was divine.
After a while she said into the darkness, "So, we lost a patient today."
"Shit, I'm sorry."
"Yeah… there was no saving her. Sometimes you just know, and with her? I knew it. We still did everything we could, but all along… yeah, all along I knew we weren't going to bring her through."
"That must be hard."
"Awful. I was the one who told the family she was slipping, but at least they got to be there when she passed, which was good. Like my sister? Hannah died alone. I hate that." Jane pictured the young woman whose heart had given out in the chute. "Death is weird. Most people think it's an on/off kind of thing, but more often it's a process, really, kind of like closing up a shop at the end of the day. For the most part things fail in a predictable manner, until finally the last light in the place goes out and the door is shut and locked. As a doctor I can jump in and stop the progression by sealing up wounds or giving more blood or forcing the body to regulate its functions with drugs. But sometimes… sometimes the shopkeeper just leaves, and you can't stop him no matter what you do." She laughed awkwardly. "Sorry, don't mean to get morbid."
He brushed his hand down her face. "You're not. You're amazing."
"You're biased," she said, before yawning so wide her jaw cracked.
"I'm right." He kissed her forehead. "Now sleep."
She must have followed orders, because sometime later she felt him moving away. "Don't go."
"Have to. I'm patrolling downtown."
He stood up, a giant of a man-er, male, his dark hair catching the dim light from the street lamps out in front of the condo.
A wave of sadness came over her, and she closed her eyes.
"Hey," he said, sitting down next to her. "None of that. We're not sad. You and me? We're not sad. We don't do sad."
She laughed with a choking sound. "How did you know what I was feeling? Or do I look that pathetic?"
He tapped his nose. "I can smell it. Spring rain is what the scent's like."
"I hate this good-bye shit."
"Me, too." He leaned down and brushed his lips against her forehead. "Here." He shrugged out of his long-sleeved shirt, balled it up, and put it under her cheek. "Pretend this is me."
She breathed in deep, caught the bonding scent, and was calmed a little. As he stood, he looked so strong in just a muscle shirt, invincible, like a superhero. And yet he breathed.
"Please… be careful."
"Always." He bent over and kissed her again. "I love you."
As he pulled away, she reached out and grabbed his arm. Words failed, but the silence said enough.
"I hate the leaving, too," he replied roughly. "But I'll be back. I promise."
He kissed her again and then headed for the door. As she listened to him go downstairs to get his coat, she cradled his shirt to her face and closed her eyes.
With perfectly fucking bad timing, the garage door of the condo beside hers started to rumble up. Halfway through, it got stuck, the motor whining loud enough to make her headboard vibrate.