Man, you could have heard crickets chirping for the silence.
After a while Butch sank back down on the bench. "You did?"
"Back in the warrior camp, if you beat someone while sparring, you fucked them in front of the rest of the soldiers. And I won the first fight I was in after my transition. The male… I guess he'd consented in a way. I mean, he submitted, but it wasn't right. I… yeah, I didn't want to do it to him, but I didn't stop." V took out a cigarette from his pocket and stared down at the thin white roll. "It was right before I left the camp. Right before… other things happened to me."
"Was that your first time?"
V took out his lighter but didn't strik up a flame. "Helluva way to start, huh."
"Jesus…"
"Anyway, after I was out in the world for a while, I experimented with a lot of shit. I was really angry and… yeah, just totally pissed off." He looked over at Butch. "There's not much I haven't done, cop. And most of it's been hard-core, if you feel me. There's always been consent, but it was-it still is-on the rails." V laughed tightly. "As well as curiously forgettable."
Butch was quiet for a time. Then he said, "I think that's why I like Jane."
"Huh?"
"When you look at her? You actually see her, and when's the last time that's happened for you?"
V geared himself up, then stared hard into Butch's eyes. "I saw you. Even though it was wrong. I saw you."
Shit, he sounded sad. Sad and… lonely. Which made him want to change the subject.
Butch clapped V on the thigh, then stood up, as if he knew exactly what V was thinking. "Listen, I don't want you to feel bad. It's my animal magnetism. I'm irresistible."
"Smart-ass." V's smile didn't last long. "Don't get your romantic side fired up about me and Jane, buddy. She's human."
Butch's jaw dropped and he pulled a bobble. "No, really? That's such a shocker! And here I thought she was a sheep."
V shot Butch a fuck-ya stare. "She's not into me like that. Not really."
"You sure about that?"
"Yup."
"Huh. Well, if I were you I might test that theory before you let her go." Butch shoved a hand through his hair. "Listen, I… shit."
"What?"
"I'm glad you told me. About the sex stuff."
"None of it was a news flash."
"True. But I figure you came out with it because you trust my ass."
"I do. Now drag it back to the Pit. Marissa's got to be coming home soon."
"She is," Butch headed for the door but then paused and looked over his shoulder. "V?"
Vishous raised his stare. "Yeah?"
"I think you should know, after all this deep conversatin'…" Butch shook his head gravely. "We still ain't dating."
The two of them busted out laughing, and the cop was still yukking it up as he disappeared into the gym.
"What's so funny?" Jane asked.
V braced himself before looking at her, hoping like hell she didn't know how hard it was for him to front like he was level. "My buddy's just being an ass. It's his life's work."
"Everyone needs a purpose."
"True."
She sat down on the bench across the way, and his eyes ate her up like he'd been in the dark for ages and she was a candle.
"Are you going to need to feed again?" she asked.
"Doubt it. Why?"
"Your coloring is off."
Well, having your chest this tight will do that to a guy. "I'm good."
There was a long silence. Then she said, "I was worried in there."
The exhaustion in her voice made him see past his attraction for her and pick up on the fact that her shoulders were slumped and there were dark circles under her eyes and her lids were low. She was clearly wiped.
You need to let her go, he thought. Soon.
"Why were you worried?" he asked.
"Very tricky area to fix in a field situation. Which was what this was." She rubbed her face. "You were great, by the way."
His brows popped. "Thanks."
With a groan, she tucked her feet up under her butt, just as she had back in the bedroom in that chair. "I'm concerned about his sight."
Man, he wished he could rub her back. "Yeah, he doesn't need another liability."
"He has one already?"
"Prosthetic leg-"
"V? Mind if I talk to you for a sec?"
V's head shot around to the gym's doorway. Rhage was back, still dressed in his fighting leathers. "Hey, Hollywood. What's up?"
Jane uncurled herself. "I can go into the other-"
"Stay," V said. None of this was going to be permanent for her, so it didn't matter what she heard. And besides… there was a part of him-a sappy part that made him want to clap himself on the head with a liquor bottle-that wanted to milk every second he had with her.
As she settled back into place, V nodded at his brother. "Talk."
Rhage glanced back and forth between him and Jane, his teal eyes too shrewd for V's taste. Then the guy shrugged. "I found an incapacitated lesser tonight."
"Incapacitated how?"
"Gutted."
"By one of its own?"
Rhage glanced at the PT room door. "Nope."
V looked in that direction and frowned. "Phury? Oh, come on, he would never pull any Clive Barker shit. Must have been one hell of a fight."
"We're talking field-dressed, V. Surgical cuts. And it's not like the thing had swallowed the brother's car keys and he was looking to get ' em back. I think he did it for no good reason."
Well… shit. Among the Brotherhood, Phury was the gentleman, the noble fighter, the one who was Boy Scout-tight about things. He had all kinds of standards for himself, and honor in the combat arena was one of them, even though their enemies didn't deserve the favor.
"I can't believe it," V muttered. "I mean… shit."
Rhage took a Tootsie Pop out of his pocket, peeled off the wrapper, and pieholed the thing. "I don't give a crap if he wants to shred those fuckers like tax returns. What I'm not into is what's driving the behavior. If he's knifing like that, there's some high-level frustration going on. Plus if the reason he got cracked in the face tonight was because he was so busy playing Saw II, then it's safety issue."
"You tell Wrath?"
"Not yet. I was going to talk to Z first. Assuming everything goes okay with Bella tonight at Havers's."
"Ah… that's Phury's why, then, true? Anything happens to that female or the young inside her and we're going to have to deal with both of them like you read about." V cursed to himself, suddenly thinking of all the pregnancies in his future. Fuck. That Primale shit was going to kill him.
Rhage bit down on the Tootsie Pop, the crunch muffled by his flawless cheek. "Phury's got to cut that obsession with her."
V looked down at the floor. "No doubt he would if he could."
"Listen, I'm going to go find Z." Rhage pulled the white stick out of his mouth and wrapped it in the purple wrapper. "You two need anything?"
V glanced at Jane. Her eyes were on Rhage and she was sizing him up as a doctor would, taking note of the composition of his body, doing his internal math in her head. Or, at least, V hoped that was what was doing. Hollywood was a good-looking bastard.
As V's fangs throbbed in warning, he wondered if he was ever going to get his calm and cool back. It seemed like he was jealous of everything in pants with Jane around.
"No, we're good," he said to his brother. "Thanks, man."
After Rhage left and closed the door, Jane shifted around on her bench, stretching her legs out. With a ridiculous surge of satisfaction, he realized they were sitting in exactly the same position.