Lovers for a Day

'That's the problem! I don't know how to explain it. It means you're crazy in a nice sort of way.'

'I'm not crazy. I just know what I want. And now finally tell me if I should come!'

'I'm not sure, Bill. I'd love to see you, but at the same time I'm afraid of not finding a solution. Of assuming the responsibility. Wait a moment, someone's opening the front door. My husband's coming in. Quick, say something important. Just the most important thing.'

'Okay. I've got to see you or I'll die. I'll arrive there next

Wednesday via London. At one-thirty p.m. I've already bought my ticket. Do you love me?'

'Yes.'

'I love you — like a cvok. I can't wait to see you.'

'This is Wellington. Are you still speaking?'

'No, not any more, thank you!'

'God, I'm hungry. I've been on the go non-stop since this morning and didn't find a moment for lunch. Have you got something for dinner?'

'Yes, of course… I'll fix you a sandwich in a moment.'

'Is something up?'

'No, why should there be?'

'You were on the phone when I came in.'

'It was nothing. . nothing important.'

'It's okay, you look a bit worked up, that's all.'

'What do you mean?'

'You seem a bit jumpy'

'No, I'm not. I was talking with my dressmaker, that's all.'

'What did she want?'

'She told me the outfit she's making for me will be ready soon. I'm to pick it up on Wednesday at one-thirty.'

You've had another outfit made?'

Yes. I have to dress nicely. So you'll find me attractive!'

(1994)

CONJUGAL CONVERSATIONS

'I'd like to talk to you.' 'Now?'

'Now or very soon.'

'You say it so seriously.'

'I'm saying it quite normally.'

'I was planning to do something.'

'You are always planning to do something. Anything not to have to talk to me.'

'I was planning to oil the door hinges. They creak horribly. And aren't we always talking?'

'That depends what you mean by talking.'

'Talking means opening one's mouth and saying words.'

'Yes, that's precisely what you do mean by talking.'

'Do you have a better definition?'

'I'm not interested in definitions, I'm interested in having a conversation.'

'Okay: converse.'

'I would like us both to converse.'

'You start, then.'

'How can I start when you won't even sit down. You're standing there in the doorway looking for an excuse to dash away.'

'Sorry. I'm listening now.'

'It's ages since we spent a whole evening together.'

'How do you mean?'

'I mean a proper family evening together, the two of us and the children.'

'But we're together every evening, aren't we?'

'Really? "When was the last time?'

'Yesterday, for instance.'

'Yesterday evening you came home at nine-thirty. You'd had an important meeting. Or so you said.'

'What's that supposed to mean, "Or so you said"?'

'It means that yesterday we weren't together.'

'Sorry, but yesterday I really did have a departmental meeting. And it was on a fairly important matter. Namely, funding for the whole year.'

'And the day before was a club night.'

'I only have one club night a month.'

'Sunday evening you were playing tennis. On Saturday you watched television. And before that you came home a couple of times when the children were already asleep.'

'Are you keeping tabs on my movements?'

'No, I just remember because it upsets me, and the children too.'

'Okay, I'll give up tennis.'

'I don't want you to give up tennis. I want you to feel the need to be here with us sometimes.'

'How can you tell me what needs I ought to be feeling?'

'You don't think I should want anything from you?'

'You can want anything you like from me, but don't tell me what my needs should be.'

'Sorry. It's just that it upsets me that you act as if you don't need us.'

'I do need you. After all, everything I do, I do for you.'

'That's only an excuse. Just to make you look magnanimous in your own eyes.'

'I don't need to look magnanimous in my own eyes. Or in anyone else's, for that matter. But you can hardly deny that I look after you.'

'That's not the point.'

'I'm not really sure what the point is.'

'The point is that it's ages since we spent a proper evening together.'

'And don't you think I might just like one too? It's not my fault I have so little spare time.'

'Whose fault is it, then?'

'I don't know. It's just the way things are. If you hesitate for a second, there's someone stealing a march on you.'

At 'work, you mean?'

'Yes, at work. In research.'

And elsewhere?'

'What do you mean by elsewhere?'

'At home, for instance.'

'Here, do you mean?'

'I wasn't aware you had a home somewhere else.'

'That's an interesting thought.'

'It's never occurred to you before, then?'

'That someone might steal a march on me here? Who, for instance?'

'It wouldn't be too hard to find someone.'

'And you have someone in mind?'

'No, I used to think I had you.'

'And you don't any more?'

'I'm not sure now. I don't know whether I've got you. I've got the money you bring home and the dishes you make dirty, and the shirts that I wash for you.'

'I thought the washing machine did that.'

'I don't want to talk about shirts, I want to talk about us.'

'You're the one who mentioned the shirts.'

'I was only asking what we get from you, the children and me.'

'The children don't wash shirts.'

'The children don't even get dirty shirts from you.'

'You act as if I ignored the children.'

'Would you mind telling me, then, when we last spent a family evening together?'

'And what's this "family evening" supposed to consist of, for heaven's sake?'

'Sitting around the table for a meal and chatting together.'

'Chatting about what?'

'What we've been doing during the day, for instance. Or what we've been reading.'

'Economic analyses and statistics are what I read most of the time. I shouldn't think they'd interest you.'

'You could hear about what the children or I have been reading. If you're at all interested.'

'Your idea of a family evening sounds a bit like school. Questions about what you read for homework.'

'We wouldn't have to talk about books. You could explain to us what your work's about. Or what you want from life. Or what we are doing here.'

'You really think that would interest them? The boy's into model-making and the girl's into clothes and the absurd pop songs she stares at on television.'

'You didn't teach them anything better, did you?'

'So I'm to blame for that too, am I?'

'It's not a question of blame.'

'Why don't you find them something better to do, then?'

'Perhaps I've tried, but it's been too much for me on my own.'

'In other words, you're all on your own.'

'It feels like that sometimes. I've always been left to deal with things like that on my own. The most you were ever up to was helping the boy stick his models together.'

'I'd sooner have him sticking models than trailing round the pubs in a gang.'

'But one day they'll want to start their own families and they'll look back on their childhood.'

'Do you think it'll strike them as so awful? What have they lacked?'

'Nothing apart from the fact they won't be able to recall a single proper family evening.'