Lovers for a Day

'I gave them some bread too. Buttered.'

'What else?'

'You're very curious all of a sudden. Why didn't you come and see to it yourself?'

'I'm glad you gave them their supper.'

'For the fourth time this week.'

'Is that a fact? But you told me to have the week off. It was your idea.'

'The reason I suggested it was because I couldn't stand to hear you moaning about how you sacrifice yourself for us any longer.'

'It was a nice gesture.'

'Have a good time today?'

'Splendid, thank you.'

'May I ask with whom?'

'You may. But I don't have to reply, do I?'

'It is the polite thing to reply when someone asks a question.'

'And you're someone, all of a sudden?'

'Who am I then?'

'You're my darling heart.'

'You can't mean me.'

'There's no one else here, is there?'

'I can't see anyone, but maybe in your mind's eye you can see someone else in my place.'

'I see you. You smile at me nicely, you've given the children their supper and you're even interested in who I spent the afternoon with.'

'And the evening.'

'The evening's now, with you.'

'The evening began a good while ago.'

'Could you tell me when exactly? I have to admit I'm never really sure when the evening actually begins.'

'Six o'clock, say.'

'Even now in the summer?'

'Six o'clock is the time for the family to come together.'

'So that's why you are always home on the stroke of six.'

'Whenever I'm able, I'm here. And you've not answered my question.'

'Did you ask me something?'

'You know very well what I asked you.'

'I'm afraid I've forgotten.'

'I see you don't intend to answer. That's an answer too. Aren't you even going to kiss me?'

'Of course I am, my darling.'

'Have you been drinking?'

'No. I had a glass of wine with Olga.'

'Olga who?'

'I thought you asked me who I spent the afternoon with.'

'And the evening.'

'Now I'm with you. And you know who Olga is, don't you? I must have mentioned her at least a hundred times. But then my girlfriends never did interest you, did they?'

'It's you I'm interested in, not your girlfriends.'

'You ought to know that girlfriends are part of every woman's life.'

'Wherever did you come across that bit of wisdom? You really have been drinking!'

'I've had a glass of wine.'

'Or two.'

'Or two.'

'How many?'

'I don't keep count of things like you do, my darling.'

'You're telling me. But I suppose you noticed how much you had to pay at the end. Or didn't you pay the bill?'

'Of course I paid for myself. I'd hardly let Olga pay for me.'

'That's assuming there was only Olga.'

'Do you think I'm lying to you?'

'I'm not saying you're lying to me. You told me you were with Olga, but that doesn't mean you two were alone, does it?'

'Oh, you're such a precise and logical thinker.'

'Would you mind answering then?'

'Did you ask me something?'

'I asked you if there was someone else there apart from Olga.'

'So that was a question, was it? Do men interest you, or only women?'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Whether you're interested in men as well as women?'

'What interests me is who you've been spending all afternoon and evening with while your family have been waiting at home for you.'

'There were about twenty people in the place. But we had a table to ourselves. There was one rather nice-looking, dark-haired man who came and asked if he could join us, but we refused him politely.'

'Who refused him?'

'I don't recall. Me, or Olga.'

'While we're on the subject of dark-haired men — this is a little embarrassing — but today my assistant told me that he saw you on Monday with a dark-haired chap.'

'According to you your assistant's a fool.'

'He may be a fool, but he's not blind.'

'I didn't say he was. Where and when did he see me?

'On Monday, at the bottom of Wenceslas Square.'

'Monday's a long day.'

'Monday's as long a day as any other and I assume you

don't spend the whole day in Wenceslas Square.'

'Ah, now I remember. It was Vašek. We just happened to bump into each other.'

'Who's Vašek?'

'A college friend.'

'What would a college friend of yours be doing at the bottom of Wenceslas Square?'

Why shouldn't he be there? Do you think my college pals are banned from the bottom of Wenceslas Square on Mondays or something?'

'I was always under the impression you went to college in Kolín.'

'But darling, most of my fellow students moved to Prague ages ago.'

'What does he do, this Vašek?'

'You're jealous, my darling.'

'I'm not, and stop calling me darling, when you'd sooner bite me.'

'Darling, you may not even be aware of it, but you really are jealous!'

'I'm not. I just don't intend to be made a total fool of.'

'No, your assistant's the fool.'

'Why didn't you tell me about this Vašek?'

'You didn't ask.'

'How could I ask when you didn't tell me you just happened to bump into him?'

'Why the stress on the words "bump into"?'

'It's just that it really does strike me as an extraordinary coincidence that you should bump into a college friend from Kolín at the bottom of Wenceslas Square at half past ten on a Monday morning.'

'Your assistant may be a fool, but he has a good idea of the time.'

'My assistant isn't such a fool. Maybe I'm a bigger one. How come you were at the bottom of Wenceslas Square at that time?'

'On Mondays I have a free period from ten to twelve. I thought you knew my timetable.'

'You've never felt the need to communicate it to me.'

'I don't expect you were interested. Besides, it's always changing.'

'Besides which it suits you that I don't know your free periods. But you haven't told me yet why you never mentioned him to me.'

'I suppose that evening as usual you didn't have time to talk. And anyway it never occurred to me you'd be interested in any of my old college friends.'

'What interests me is who you spend your time with. That's quite normal, I would have thought.'

'You mustn't be jealous, darling. You know you're the only one I have. Because I for one know I'd never find another man like you in the whole wide world.'

'You're drunk.'

'After three glasses of wine? You underestimate me!'

'The only thing I underestimate is your ability to count how many glasses of wine you have actually drunk. Are you going to tell me something about this college chum of yours?'

'We met. He asked me how I was.'

'You didn't ask him?'

'Yes.'

'So what's he doing?'

'What do you mean, what's he doing? He's got a wife and two children. And he works in television. If that's what you mean.'

'Did you go and find somewhere to sit?'

'You didn't expect us to stand on the corner in that heat, did you?'

'And he wasn't with you today?'

'Today I was with Olga.'

'So you say.'

'Are you saying I'm lying?'

'I didn't say anything of the sort.'

'No, you only hinted at it. You just don't believe me. You should give your assistant a good ticking-off for failing to follow me closely enough. Or maybe hire an agency. It's possible these days. You pay them and they can snoop out who I was sitting in the wine bar with. You're disgusting!'

'So I'm disgusting, am I? You come home at night drunk and I'm the disgusting one.'