The truth of his words pinched her heart, but they showed he’d been thinking along the same lines as she had. One night, one chance to experience again what they’d had during the early days of their marriage.
And then it would be over. The bright light of day would once again reveal all the sky-high hurdles between them that they couldn’t seem to jump over or knock down.
“I know.”
“And I’m not going away. You’ll still have to put up with me hanging around until we know…”
He let the sentence trail off, but they were both well aware of what he’d been about to say. A flashing neon BABY sign might as well have been hanging from the headboard.
“I know.”
His fingers continued to stroke her waist, her belly, the small of her back. Slowly, seductively, but his hands were so large that they covered a lot of space without needing to travel very far.
“It’s up to you, Jenna,” he murmured. “We can keep moving in the direction things are going, or I can get up and leave you alone. It’s your call.”
She shifted to lie more fully atop him, pressing her breasts into his chest and feeling the rigid length of his erection against her hip. It warmed her to know that even as aroused as he was, he had still offered to walk away.
“I don’t want you to go,” she said, rubbing her whole body lightly up and down against his.
He sucked in a breath and she saw the chords of his neck constrict. He nodded, almost imperceptibly, then in a grating tone said, “Fine. But you need to know that if I stay, I won’t be tied down this time.”
It was part warning, part threat, part reminder, and it sent a skittering of warmth blossoming low in her belly. Her throat was too tight, too dry to form words, so she merely nodded.
That was all it took for Gage’s eyes to go from glittering with mild interest to blazing with sharp arousal. Both expressions were potent and intelligent, but only one was hot and smoldering with danger.
Luckily, she liked danger. She liked living on the edge.
But only with one person.
Only with him.
She returned her mouth to his jaw, letting her lips skate along the rough surface.
“You can be in charge this time,” she whispered. “Whatever you want. However you want it. If you want to tie me to the bed instead, I’m game.”
His fingers flexed in the flesh of her upper arms, and before she knew what was happening, she was flat on her back on the mattress with Gage hovering above her.
“I don’t need toys and secondary fantasies,” he told her in a voice rough with meaning. “When I’m with you, I only want you, just as you are.”
His declaration brought a lump to her throat so that all she could do was swallow and blink back the sting of tears.
Gage wasn’t the romantic sort. He’d never been one to bring her flowers or candy or plan something special for Valentine’s Day. But once in a while he would utter something so beautiful, so heartfelt, he could have won a Mr. Romance competition against Prince Charming himself.
“It’s a shame we couldn’t work out our differences,” she told him when she could finally manage non-wavering speech, “because we really are perfect for each other.”
A flash of something dark and almost primitive passed over his face, but he didn’t respond. Not verbally, anyway. Instead, with a growl, he grabbed her wrists and pinned her arms above her head, then ground his entire body against hers from chest to ankle while he took her mouth in a toe-curling, breath-stealing, bone-crushing kiss.
Gage couldn’t decide what he wanted more-to wrap Jenna in about a thousand layers of cotton batting and cuddle her like a small child… or pin her to the bed and use his body to punish her for putting him through the wringer.
No one had ever been able to reach inside him and pull out his guts the way she could, and over the past couple days, she’d not only ripped them out, but tap-danced them straight into the ground.
He’d always thought guys who got mixed up in sex with the ex were… well, okay, yeah, lucky bastards as far as getting laid went, but also major morons. Once the marriage was over and the papers were signed, that needed to be the end, with both parties going their separate ways. Going back, even just for the occasional quick roll in the sack, was a bad idea. Bad with a capital B.
Lying in the cradle of Jenna’s thighs hadn’t altered his opinion, either. It was still a bad, bad idea.
But slap his ass and crown him the King of All Morons… damned if he was going to take the high road and walk away. He wasn’t sure he’d have been physically able, even if he’d wanted to-which he sure as hell didn’t.
So he’d take himself out back of the woodshed later. Probably whack his head against the wall a few hundred times and call himself every kind of name in the book, too.
Small price to pay, he rationalized, for another night spent with Jenna. Not tied to the bed at her mercy. Not being used in her misguided attempts to start a family. But making love with her the way they used to, the way he fantasized about while he was stuck on stakeouts or trapped undercover for weeks at a time.
His heart slowed its beat and his blood thickened, pumping like crude oil through his veins. Without warning, he pushed himself up and off the bed. Jenna made a startled, disappointed sound, which he ignored as he strode to his duffel where it rested on the floor in the corner and crouched to unzip the bag.
He found what he was looking for, then straightened and turned to toss the box on the bed. It landed next to Jenna’s hip. Her eyes went to the label for a split second before she lifted her gaze to his.
“You know how I feel about this, and I’m not taking any more chances,” he told her. Legs spread slightly apart and hands on his hips, his tone left no room for arguments. “We use them, or I go back downstairs and spend the rest of the night on the sofa.”
In response, she sat up cross-legged in the middle of the bed, grabbed the box, and opened it at one end. Spilling the contents onto the mattress, she lifted a single small foil packet between two fingers and waved it in front of him.
“As long as you let me put the first one on.”
Gage hadn’t realized until that moment how still he’d been holding himself, how rigid every muscle and tendon was-including his lungs, which suddenly sucked in a much-needed breath of air.
He didn’t know what he’d have done if she’d refused. Burst into flames or crumbled into a pile of bones and ash, most likely.
But she hadn’t refused, and he wasn’t going to waste another second worrying about it. He’d rather just be grateful… and get down to business before she changed her mind.
He reached the bed in a single wide step, tangling his fingers in the hem of her pajama tank and yanking it up and off. She raised her arms to make the job easier and even tipped back on the mattress to let him strip her of her shorts.
He didn’t take his eyes off of her as he quickly shucked his own boxer briefs and joined her on the bed. His big body covered hers, nearly swallowing her whole, and he held himself up on his arms to keep from crushing her.
The feel of her smooth skin rubbing against his own was like heaven, and something he hadn’t known he’d missed quite so much until that very moment. He let the sensation sink in, etch itself into his memory, and warm him both outside and in.
It didn’t take long, though, for more pressing desires to make themselves known. Between them, his penis pulsed and nudged forward insistently, as though it knew relief was only centimeters away.
“If you want the honors,” he told her roughly, “you’d better hurry. I’m not promising to last much longer.”
Jenna’s lips pulled into a small moue. “Aw, poor baby. I thought big, strong men like you were supposed to have more staying power than that.”
“Not where you’re concerned,” he bit out. Then he grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the condom packet and tugged it down toward her waist, closer to where she needed to put it to good use, rolling slightly to the side to give her room to work.