It’s none of your fucking business.
Sweat forms on my neck and drips into the collar of my shirt. I shove my shirtsleeves upward on my forearms and take a fortifying breath. “Well, honestly, all I can say is sometimes things don’t work out how you expect them to. Sometimes life gets in the way and you don’t get exactly what you want. But I am really and truly blessed to be on this tour and I don’t take anything for granted. I’m grateful for all of the fans and the listeners and people who’ve never even heard of me who will hopefully give me a chance.”
“There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Dallas Walker.” Ricky is back to using his announcer voice. “We’re going to break for some music, including Dallas’s hit single, ‘Better to Burn,’ then we’ll be back to take your questions.”
Once Ricky takes his earphones out, I do the same. I don’t want to sit around and take questions. I want to get the hell out of here before anyone else asks about Dixie and Gavin. Those questions aren’t mine to answer anyway.
“Do I have time to get some air?”
Kim gives me a sympathetic look. “Not really. But we’re almost done here. A few minutes of questions and you’re free.”
Ricky laughs like I’ve asked something amusing.
“Spotlight gettin’ too bright for you already, Walker? Better buck up, son. It’s only going to get hotter from here.”
After this live interview I have several more via phone. He’s right. It will only get more intense.
The blonde from before taps on the glass and points at Ricky as soon as he steps back into the booth. She counts down from five on her right hand, then nods.
“And we’re back with Dallas Walker,” Ricky announces suddenly. “Dallas, we checked out fan feedback and we have another tough question for you.”
“Oh good,” I say, doing my best to sound like I’m playing it cool instead of letting the dread I feel deepen my tone.
Kim laughs but there is sympathy in her smile this time. “So this question comes primarily from the ladies, but a few fellas wanted to know as well.”
I hold my breath and keep my expression blank while I wait.
Kim tilts her head to the side. “We’re all dying to know, is there a special girl out there? Someone you’re missing while you’re out on the road?”
Robyn’s face flashes behind my eyes. I can’t help but wonder if she’s listening. Mandy’s warnings about encroaching on Jase’s territory come to mind as well and it pisses me off that I even have the thought.
We said we were keeping it casual. Surely Robyn will understand. Even if we were heavily involved I’m not the type to go announcing it on national radio. She knows this. She knows me. She was the one who specified that we keep this to ourselves for the sake of both of our jobs. But it still feels like a lie.
Rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans I chuckle lightly. “Nah. Not really. Right now I’m just focusing on the music.”
“Well there you have it, ladies. And, er, gentlemen,” Ricky says with a hearty laugh. “Dallas Walker is a single man.”
“I bet that makes a lot of women happy to hear tonight,” Kim says.
Maybe.
It probably didn’t bring joy to one woman in particular, though. I pull my phone out of my pocket as soon as I exit the building, hoping against hope that she’s home.
26 | Robyn
WHEN THE TOUR HEADS TO TEXAS, I’M GRATEFUL FOR THE TIME to sleep in my own bed. The schedule has been grueling and nights with Dallas haven’t included a lot of actual sleep. Not that I’m complaining.
As much as I want to crash for the entire weekend, the first thing I do when I arrive home is have lunch and go shopping with my mom. I fill her in about Dallas being on the tour and she sort of half-yells at me for not calling her with this news sooner.
Sitting across from me at our favorite Tex-Mex place, she adjusts the vibrant pink scarf covering her head and gapes at me. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Working with him after everything?”
I don’t bother filling her in on the details of our little arrangement.
“I’m fine. It’s been surprisingly okay.” Better than okay, really, but this is my mom here. Plus she doesn’t know why we broke up and I have no plans of ever telling her.
I was always closer with my dad, but after he passed away, my mom and I definitely bonded. When she got sick, I couldn’t stand the thought of losing another person I loved so I became dedicated to making sure I did everything in my power to keep her healthy.
The older I get, the more I realize how much she and I have in common. We’re both control freaks with slight OCD tendencies who obsess about plans and lists and agendas. Funny, when I was younger, those things drove me half-crazy about her. Now I get it, though, the need for control in a world of chaos. You have to take it where you can get it.
Once I’ve convinced her I can handle the tour, she moves on from Dallas and peppers me with questions about Jase Wade. I knew she was a fan, but sheesh. When she asks if he’s seeing anyone, I’m almost nervous for him since I got her backstage passes for the show tomorrow night. Maybe I should have them bulk up Wade’s security. Dixie will be there, too, though Dallas texted and said Gavin wouldn’t be able to make it. It’s odd to me that he can’t come to his best friend’s show, but Gavin Garrison has never been the predictable type.
After a long afternoon with my mom, one that ended with us hearing Dallas on the radio telling the world that he’s a single man, I’m thankful when I get home to a note from Katie saying she’s staying with a friend and not to wait up.
I’ve just decided to run myself a hot bubble bath when my phone buzzes in my purse. I retrieve it, smiling when I see Dallas on the screen.
“Hey, you,” I say. “Enjoying being home in the great state of Texas?”
“It could be worse, I guess.” He doesn’t sound like himself. He sounds like someone ran over his dog, or maybe even him.
“You okay?”
“Can I come by? It doesn’t have to be for . . . you know. I just want to see you.”
“Look at you being all sweet. I kind of like this side of you. Maybe we should come home more often.”
“That so?”
“Come on over, Lark. I was just about to take a bubble bath but I guess I can wait. Care to join me?”
“You? Naked? In a tub full of bubbles?”
“Yes, sir.”
Dallas is quiet for a second. “Well, I guess if you’re going to twist my arm . . .”
I’m still laughing when we hang up.
I open the door in nothing but my robe and Dallas smiles despite the sadness in his eyes.
“Hey,” I say, ushering him inside. “What’s up with you? I thought you’d be happy to be home, or close to home at least.”
“I had radio interviews today. One with Ricky Ray and several with a few local stations,” he tells me, taking off his dark brown jacket and hanging it in the corner on one of my bar stools. “Want to know what question they all wanted an answer to?”
I nod. I heard most of the one with Ricky Ray but I still have no idea what has him looking so beat down.
“ ‘What happened to Leaving Amarillo, Dallas? Why’d you leave your band, Dallas? Did you get too big for them, Dallas? Were they holding you back, Dallas?’ ”
His tone has turned from mocking to angry by the end of his diatribe.
“That’s more than one question,” I note quietly.
“Same general idea.” He pauses to shake his head. “Basically around here I’m the jerk-off that broke up a beloved local band to go be a fame whore. So to answer your question, no, I’m not all that thrilled to be home.”
“They don’t know the whole story.” I don’t even think I know the whole story, for that matter.
“No, but that’s why they make assumptions and ask. It was like being pinned into a corner all fucking day. What was I supposed to tell them? Dixie was grieving and the label is run by a sexist asshole she didn’t have the energy or the desire to try and persuade? Oh, and Gavin didn’t particularly want to spend the next three to five years in jail for breaking his probation? I mean, what the hell, you know?”