‘What,’ she said, still looking away but not crying, ‘with all these other people, whoever they are?’
‘Well, it’s a bit awkward about them. We could leave them somewhere. It’s really Evelyn Henderson. She’s a very old friend and she’s terribly badly off. I fixed it so they could all go for her really, whether I went or not.’
She turned round, caught his eyes in the glare of hers and stamped.
‘Don’t you dare,’ she said and gasped. ‘Don’t you dare,’ she said in a small voice she was so angry, ‘try and put that over on me. It’s Julia Wray and I’ve known it all along.’
‘Julia? What do you mean?’
‘What do I mean? You are mad if you think I’ll swallow that,’ and she laughed and spoke naturally. It was when she had herself under control that she could rule him.
‘There’s nothing about Julia…. I say …’ he said and could not finish. He was under her command.
‘Well, we had the arrangement,’ she said in her hard tone of voice, ‘we’re both free,’ she was absolutely certain of him now, ‘we can both do as we like.’
‘Oh, no!’
‘Yes, I know when I’m not wanted.’
‘You are. You’re the point of the whole trip.’
‘You see I’ve come to know I can’t trust a single thing you say. Max, my dear, you’re hopeless and I don’t know why I’m here. Try and think what you’re saying.’
‘How d’you mean?’
‘Don’t play the innocent. The telephone.’
‘I tell you I was mad.’
‘But you weren’t, you’d thought it out.’
He began to think, to slip out of her control and be impatient. He showed it by not looking away when they met each other’s eyes. As soon as she saw this she smiled at him. It was wonderfully done. She smiled in just the way she had done when first they became intimate, in such a way that she might have been talking to him almost under her breath when they had nothing, nothing between them.
He kissed her again. This time when she drew back she laughed.
‘How much do you really want me to come?’ she said.
He laughed.
‘No, go on, how much, tell me, you must, how much,’ she said, as Julia had about her top. He looked at her, she was radiantly smiling, and again he felt lost and given over before her moods.
He went to kiss her again and she laughed and said no, no, not before he had told her.
‘You know how much,’ he said and looked so expectant as to be idiotic.
‘More than to go fishing,’ she said, calling on another afternoon.
‘Yes.’
‘Even when the wind or whatever it was was just right.’
‘Of course.’
‘No,’ she said and looked at him as though he meant everything to her, ‘you remember, don’t you, even if you had been waiting for whatever you have to wait for fishing even for weeks?’
‘I do.’
‘Do you? No, you mustn’t kiss me again, I haven’t nearly finished. More than Ascot week, more than going to bed or staying up and, d’you remember, on that hill when you didn’t want to go home?’
‘Don’t.’
‘Very well. What were we talking about before? Oh, blast you, why do you make me feel so sad?’ she said and she made her eyes cloud over.
‘Darling.’
‘All right, I’m not going to be tiresome or anything like that, but I can’t think what I was doing when I fell for you,’ and she made way before him, making herself small.
‘I do,’ he said, ‘because there’s nobody like you.’
‘Isn’t there?’
‘Nobody like you.’
‘Is that all?’ she said in her small voice. He laughed and kissed her again. This time she did not kiss him back but handed herself over.
When he found she had nothing on underneath she stopped him at once.
‘No,’ she said, ‘hands off, I’ve just had my bath, I’ve just had my bath I tell you.’
He got up and began walking round and round where she sat again. She had so wound him up that in his feeling for her as it was now he was thrown back on his grievance.
‘What were you doing last night?’ he said.
‘How d’you mean?’
‘When I rang up.’
‘Oh, then! Well, I did pop out for a moment,’ she said, looking long at her face in her glass.
‘Who with?’
‘We went to that cocktail club round the corner.’
‘Who’s we?’
‘No, let me finish,’ she said, putting more red on her lips. Her face blushed in spots where he had kissed her. ‘You’ve made such a mess of my face. Here, hold this,’ she said and gave him her mirror. His hand shook so he was no use to her. ‘Darling, you mustn’t get upset about little things like that. It was only Richard and you know what he is.’
‘Embassy Richard?’
‘Yes.’
‘Why him?’
‘Why not, darling?’
‘When I rang up you said Marjorie was with you.’
‘No, I didn’t. You said you couldn’t get on to me.’
‘I meant afterwards.’
‘Oh, then! I didn’t want to tell you, that’s all.’
‘It would take more than him to upset me,’ he said.
‘Then what’s the matter with you now?’ she said sweetly.
‘Nothing’s the matter.’
‘I can’t understand you these days at all. Here, give me back my mirror. What shall I do?’ she said, ‘it is in a mess,’ tilting and turning her face from side to side.
‘Well, what about it?’
‘About Richard you mean? Why, nothing. By the way, he said he was coming on your train.’
‘You didn’t invite him by any chance?’
‘How could I? I’m not coming, you know, you didn’t invite me. It’s absurd, I can’t just get packed like that at a moment’s notice.’
‘Then I shan’t go,’ he said, turning away and going back to the window.
She did not take much notice of this. ‘But, darling,’ she said, ‘you can’t just leave them like that when you asked them.’
‘I can. I’ve given old Evelyn the tickets. It’s arranged.’
‘But you can’t, they’re your guests. You mustn’t be so independent. I won’t let you. Think what they’ll say.’
‘I don’t care.’
‘Oh, yes, you do, you must care. The whole thing’s absurd,’ and, forgetting she had just said she was not coming, ‘it’s absurd,’ she said, ‘you say we can’t go because Richard is in the hotel and travelling on the same train.’
They did not either of them notice the slip she had made.
‘How d’you know?’ he said, turning round.
‘I don’t know,’ she said, looking at him, ‘only he said he would be here and when he says he will be somewhere, I believe him more than when you tell me the same thing.’
‘You’ve seen him?’
‘Max, darling, don’t be so ridiculous. I haven’t set eyes on him since last night. He might be in Timbuctoo for all I care and anyway I don’t know, darling. I must say, my dear, you don’t seem very upset at my not coming.’
‘If you don’t come, then I don’t.’
‘Why must you be like this? I tell you you can’t behave like that. You’ll never be able to get anyone to go abroad with you again.’
‘I don’t care.’ There was a pause. ‘In any case,’ he said, ‘I wasn’t going to go.’
‘Then why did you say what you did when you rang me up the last time?’
‘Because,’ he said, finding it at last, ‘because I saw with all this fog I might be with them for hours as the trains weren’t running. I had to see them off, you know.’ He came up to her smiling.
‘No, keep away,’ she said, ‘I’ve got to think this out.’ He’s such an awful liar, she thought, but already everything seemed different. ‘No, I don’t believe it,’ she said and began to hope.