A blood challenge to you, fire dragon. Alec’s words sounded maniacal to his human mind, but he didn’t care. He swooped toward the earth, and the desert floor raced by, brown and flat and dead.
…
Lucy sat on the corner of her bed chewing her lip and twisting her hands. Alec’s “You have made your choice” boomed in her head with painful aftershocks. He had been so angry and so hurt. She hadn’t believed him when he had said he wanted her forever. But when he’d caught her with the sapphire, he had acted like a man who had been hurt by the woman he loved.
The woman he meant to spend his life with. Forever.
Just like he had said.
The tension in her head built and she jerked to her feet and paced, back and forth, back and forth across the room. She pivoted by the curtains. “Plague, phantasm.” Her reflection in the mirror as she passed it was distraught, her eyes flighty and scared, her hair tangled in a mess of crystal extensions.
“Peace, perception, patrol.” Her brain registered the ridiculous litany. “Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.” She threw her hands out, not at all calmed. Her stomach twisted, and she recognized the ache.
Regret.
Lucy forced her body to stand still and she examined her conscience like a juvie judge, frowning over the file, looking for discrepancies. The painkillers had made her bold—truth—they had made her think she could do it, but the actual decision to act, to take the sapphire, that had been all her.
But it wasn’t like she’d done it for the money. She had been trying to save Joey, true.
Didn’t that make her somehow innocent, by way of noble intent?
No, it didn’t.
Lucy sat down on the hotel room bed hard, hating the gnawing pit of wrongness in her belly. Bad behavior was Joey’s purview. She was the good one, the one who always did the right thing, no matter what. Just not this time.
When it really mattered.
Alec had been serious about wanting a life with her. The knowledge was astounding.
Before Lil had locked her in the room, she had told her that Alec would only tolerate her presence for the ceremony, for the sake of the other dragons. Her mind flooded with images of Alec’s face when he had realized she had taken his sapphire, and the hurt she had seen there doubled inside her chest.
“How am I going to fix this?” Lucy mumbled, knowing that there was nothing she could do.
Alec would never forgive her. She wasn’t sure she could forgive herself.
It was the hardest truth of all.
Panic squeezed her chest from her head to her knees, tightening her vision with the kind of vessel narrowing that preceded a full-on anxiety attack. Pain exploded in her head, pushing the crevices of her brain to the edge of her skull.
One thing at a time.
Lucy forced a breath in and out. She would try to explain to Alec. She would get through the dragon ceremony. She would make sure Joey stayed out of trouble.
NO.
Her mind screamed the word, and suddenly she envisioned herself wandering in never-ending circles across a barren moonscape. Saving Joey was the X she sought above all other destinations. Lucy’s mouth gaped open, and she shook her head like an AA first-timer, denial in every shake. But her mind knew the truth. Joey was her shorter leg. Even when she believed she plodded a straight line, she veered in endless circles, for him.
Always coming back for him.
Always.
The knowledge hit her with crushing sadness. Joey should not be first in her life anymore. Whatever was between her and Alec should be first. Alec was true. He understood her. He would never betray her for a handful of jewels. He would shield her, save her, love her.
But would he ever trust her again?
There was a brief knock at the door before Jane entered, carrying an armload of vibrant red and orange clothing. “The Jer’ol asked me to get you dressed for the ceremony.”
Lucy stood, needing to vindicate herself to someone, even the stony looking assistant. “I wanted to save my brother, give him a new start.”
“I don’t care.” Jane gave her a level glare.
“But…” Lucy’s explanations died on her tongue.
“Take off your clothes, there’s not much time.” Jane spread out a silk cloth that resembled an Indian sari. The colors twined in an intricate and beautiful pattern. She set several pieces of diamond jewelry on the bed and crossed her arms.
Lucy ran her hand over the jewels. They throbbed with the tang of cold water, and she didn’t need her jeweler’s loupe to know that they were real diamonds.
“These are lovely.” Her mind jumbled over the gems and Alec. “Will I be able to talk to Alec before the ceremony?”
“No.” Jane said the word with such certainty that Lucy knew she was a no longer a guest in anyone’s eyes. She was a prisoner playing dress up. “You’re to act the part of his mate during the ceremony so that he is not seen as weak by the visiting families.”
“Why would he been seen as weak?” Lucy pulled off her clothing and folded it neatly on the bed.
“He’ll likely die because of you.” Jane said the words with such vehemence that Lucy paused. “Dead is pretty damn weak.”
“Dead?”
“Alec is very old. If the other families knew that he hadn’t found a real mate to save his dragon form, the ceremony would be nothing but blood challenge after blood challenge for the throne.”
“He would die?”
“Yes.” Jane seemed absolute. “Take off your underwear, too.”
Lucy’s skin went cold. “Could I have some privacy?”
“No.”
Lucy unfastened her bra and stepped out of her panties. She set them on the bedspread with a shaky hand. “I’m sorry, Jane. Truly sorry. I didn’t realize. I didn’t believe Alec.”
“You’ve ruined everything.” Jane picked up the sari cloth and snapped it in the air. She spread the fabric wide, and in three twisting moves, she wrapped the cloth around Lucy’s body and secured it at the shoulder with a garnet pin.
Lucy stood still.
Jane shook her head but said nothing, not giving an inch of forgiveness.
“Remember the grand opening?” Lucy tried to meet her eyes, but Jane looked over her shoulder. “When you told me that it’s useless to try to control others.”
Jane frowned. “Yes.”
“You were right. I thought I could save my brother, but in the end, he always does what he wants.”
Lucy sat on the bed and shook her head. She had wasted so much time trying to corral Joey. No matter what she did, he was going to buck at the buzzer. It was what he loved. And she was nothing more than a silly rodeo clown, racing around the dirt with props, trying to safeguard his joyride.
“Please tell Alec that I want to talk to him.” Lucy looked beseechingly at Jane.
“I don’t carry your messages.” Jane pointed at the bed. “Fix your hair and put on the rest of your jewelry. Someone will come for you when it’s time.” She slammed the door when she exited the room. The silence in her wake was broken only by Lucy’s rapid breathing.
Lucy’s bare feet sank into the plush carpet like quicksand. On the bed, the diamond jewelry clustered in a pile. Lucy picked the pieces up and nearly dropped them as an icy rush pulsed through her skin.
In front of the mirror, she set the jewels down and examined her face. Her strained features were at least familiar. She finger-combed her hair into order and used her rubber band to make a messy looking bun, and then put on the diamond headband. The pulse of the jewels spread down her neck, pleasant and warm, like the sure stroke of fingers coated with hot oil.