My friends conducted themselves in an exemplary manner considering that, in addition to their other failings, each was more or less a certifiable sex maniac. Beth shook hands like a lady. If her fingers grabbed loose balls on the downthrust-Davey's or Alec's-that wasn't her fault. I'd cautioned them to wear supporters.
Ernie was charming to the point of making you want to vomit. Fran's svelte city slickness dazzled him. In a daze he looked lovesick and kept unnaturally quiet.
Matt was even more quiet. In fact he was invisible; he had vanished. I never thought Matt would turn shy at meeting new clients, employers, and/or partners. There was no time to squander in lamenting my buddy's vagaries. I had to show Alec the setting, the cabin.
Alec shuddered, a shudder that made his previous shakings mere pallid rehearsals. With good reason. He had discovered the cock artist's canvases.
“Christ! What did this guy use for a paintbrush? His schmuck?”
I hadn't realized that our director was so discerning. Tactfully I advised him that some of Matt's primitive efforts were hanging in the best of places. Alec's rejoinder was crass, coarse, guttural, and unprintable in the Reader's Digest.
Davey was more susceptible to the avant garde. He gazed with rapt admiration at one of Matt's masterpieces, signed in the corner by the hand of the artist: Eggstasy by Mr. Matt Hammond. Eggstasy consisted of an irregular come stain encircled by rough, reddish slashes, with a series of brown dots on the border-the imprints of Beth's nipples. “Gee,” Davey said, “that's pretty.”
After a cursory inspection of the premises, Alec decided, “We'll hafta play it outdoors. What do you think, Fran? Hey, where did she disappear to?”
One boy missing. One girl missing. I went out to find them. In the bushes behind the cabin.
My arrival on the scene hadn't interrupted a love fest. Matt was zipping up his fly. Note the direction! He looked like the cat who'd just been swallowed by the canary. Fran seemed flustered and edgy.
“Matt's been showing me the neighborhood.”
Her disgruntled guide stalked off without a word.
“What's the matter with him, Fran?”
“He showed me more than the neighborhood-”
I grinned. “His superstar? These mountain men are built big, honey. It's nature compensating for-”
“Don't laugh, Doug. Please. If Alec sees what Matt's got, my brother is going to be out of a job.”
So what? My loyalties were on Matt's side. The buttered side. But I couldn't ignore Fran's appeal either. The poor kid sounded desperate.
“Please help me, Doug. This movie crap-it gives Davey and me the excuse to be together.” I greeted that one with skepticism. Fran was hardly the type for excuses, and Davey's excuse stood up above his balls. She tried a new tack. “We need the money real bad, Doug. What else can he do except drive that old laundry truck?”
I felt a timid tug at my biceps. “If you just keep Matt out of Alec's sight till we finish the shooting, I'll do anything you want.”
I wondered what I could want that she hadn't done already, except suck it. Fran was shrewdly considering Matt's wants, however. “I acted as if I found him repulsive. That was just acting. Any girl would love a session with that sledgehammer. Your friend Matt and I could have that session in private when the filming is over.”
No one would lose anything if I agreed to play it her way. I agreed to play it her way. We joined the group in the cabin.
“For the scene where the social worker stumbles in on the orgy, we need a coupla more females,” Alec ventured, after counting noses.
“The females have emigrated. Look, Alec, can I see you a minute?” We stepped outside. I told him I hated to offer advice to a genius, but- Why not change the scenario? Let Fran walk in on the orgy, only it'll be a mini-orgy. Ernie balling Beth, with Matt watching. That should be sexy, showing a guy watching two kids in action. And I suggest you keep Matt with his clothes on. For contrast. Anyway, Matt's kinda short on uh-talent.” Doug Judas Trent!
I concluded the revised scenario. “Then he spies Fran and tries to catch her. That's when she runs off and meets Davey. Et cetera, et cetera.”
Alec nodded. “Best we can do under the circumstances.” He summoned the company. “No reason why we can't start shooting immediately. If you gentlemen will kindly spread a blanket. Er-right here. Fine.” He went into his spiel, exuding special charm for Beth and Ernie.
“Now we're all friends here. We know what men and women do when they're alone together on a fine sunny afternoon. You two just do it, and everything'll work out great. Now why don't you get ready by taking your clothes off?”
Ernie cast a lovesick glance in Fran's direction. Beth began unbuttoning gingham-covered buttons. Matt growled, “Whaddo I do?”
Alec spoke like jovial Uncle Pimpo. “What would you do if you happened to see this lovely couple relaxing in the nude on a blanket?”
“Beth and Pimples? Whaddya think I'd do? I'd walk away fast. It's no treat to me, seeing 'em fucking. I seen it too often.”
“Then one more time won't hurt,” Alec said, suavely. “You just stand by watching. Try to pretend it's the first time.”
Beth had stripped naked. She made herself comfortable on the blanket and, this time sincerely, the director said, “Lovely!”
One foot on the grass, one on the blanket, our juvenile lead stammered, “I'm r-r-ready, m-mister.”
“Not quite. Just take your shorts off, sonny.”
In an agony of embarrassment, Ernie whispered, “I c-can't. I h-have a h-hard-on.”
He had passed the Course in Preparation for Porno Performers with flying colors. But Alec didn't tell him. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders helplessly. Fran sped to the rescue. In tones used to send erections into orbit, she pleaded, “Darling, let's see it.”
Ernie showed it, wagged it, and waved it.
Alec breathed a sigh of relief. The sigh emanating from Fran's corner made me look at her twice. I'd forgotten her thing about youngsters.
Davey also looked at Fran. Sheepishly. Like a man about to cheat on his missus-I mean, his sister. Actually Davey's suggestion was logical. “Why don't we change the parts around, Alec?” He'd kept himself in check so far, but Beth's golden bush shining in the sunlight was too tempting for the blonde-prone caveman.
Fran seconded the motion. Ernie stuttered a third vote in favor. Of the interested parties, only the chatelaine of the cabin remained indifferent. Beth realized that eventually-inevitably-she'd have both strong cocks in her cunny. And Davey hadn't unreeled his yet.
Alec rejected the new scheme. “You guys crazy?” he scolded the sibling superstars. “Your fans pay good money to see you screwing each other, not fucking amateurs. Now, c'mon, let's get started.” He turned to the couple on the blanket-and found that the half with the prick was missing. “Where the fuck did he go?” Poor Alec wheeled around to face the brother and sister-and found that the prettier one had absconded.
“Fine time they picked to go to the bathroom!”
Alec's surly exclamation revealed shocking ignorance. He didn't know a fucking thing about rural plumbing facilities. And he knew less about Fran and Ernie.
Familiarity with the local outdoor fucking facilities gave me an advantage. I knew where the terrain was free of thorns and nestles. In the bushes just back of the cabin. That's where I found them.
Didn't I predict Fran's travel suit would get itself crinkled? The skirt was all bunched up and wrinkled. I didn't even see the jacket. Her blouse was open; if she'd been wearing a bra it would have been unhooked or shredded. She was kneeling before Ernie. He was yanking at her bare boobs as if he wanted to jerk them off. Holding tight and pulling, like a straphanger in a subway.