When he touched her, it was as if her very essence melded with his until they became two parts of a whole.
She wanted him, and if the bulge pressed against her thigh was anything to go by, he wanted her. A moan escaped her throat when he ran one hand along her hip and around to cup her ass. She’d always thought she had a generous butt, but his big hand made her feel small and feminine. His other hand skimmed down her side and stopped just over her tummy, fingers splayed in a protective gesture as if in anticipation. Could he possibly be thinking about her carrying his child?
While the thought of having his baby was appealing to her, it brought things back into perspective, and just before his fingers made their way to her breast, she broke the kiss with a gasp. Her needy body cried out in denial of the sudden absence of his touch, but the passion-induced fog was clearing from her brain now.
He watched her from under thick lashes as she took a step back from him. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I just can’t think clearly when you touch me.”
“I have the same problem.”
It was time to lay it all on the line, her heart, her soul, herself. She had to find a way to crack the wall—more like the fortress—he had erected around himself. She sat down, patted the seat next to her, and waited for him to sit down before taking his hands into her own.
“I want to tell you about my mother’s accident.” She swallowed hard around the lump forming in her throat. “And why I no longer believe it was an accident.”
The desire that had burned in his eyes only moments ago died, and the serious, more reserved Lorent returned.
“You don’t have to talk about it, Melony. Not if it hurts you to.”
“But don’t you get it? That’s why I do need to talk about it. I need to share it with someone else. I need to share it with you.”
“If you really need to, you know I’m here for you.”
She nodded. She did know that, but somehow she needed to make him understand that she wanted to be there for him as well.
She took a deep breath before continuing. “It started out as a day like any other. Mom had gotten up, and we both ate breakfast together—cereal, because as I told you, she wasn’t the best cook in the world.” She laughed halfheartedly. “She made up for it in so many other ways, though. She was an awesome mother.”
He squeezed her hand in encouragement, and she continued on. “I had planned to go job hunting because the diner I waited at part-time closed down. Mom wished me luck and headed out to work at the local vet’s office.
She’d never gone to college, since she got pregnant with me at a young age.
After Dad ran off when I was two, she had to work to support us. She’d always loved animals—must be where I got my love for them. Anyway, she’d recently decided to go back to college to become a vet technician.
“When she’d first brought the idea up to me, she’d been hesitant, thought she was too old to be chasing after dreams. But I encouraged her to do it if it was what she truly wanted, and she finally did. She’d been so happy when she’d first started her classes. She’d come home, and I’d help her with her homework. It was nice to be able to repay her for all the years she’d helped me.
“But within a few months, things started changing. She became less enthusiastic about the classes, withdrawn, and talked about quitting. She tried to play it off as a simple case of changing her mind, but something hadn’t seemed right. She started getting calls late at night, and would leave home at all kinds of late hours. When I questioned her, she’d just laugh and tell me Dr. Carson—the DVM she worked for—had given her more responsibilities and she was helping with emergency calls.”
“And you didn’t believe her?” Lorent asked.
Melony shook her head. “My mother never lied to me. I had no reason to doubt her, but for some reason I did.”
He leaned toward her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “That’s called instincts, honey. You should always listen to them.”
She nodded in agreement. “I know that now. The night of her accident, she got a call and told me she had an emergency at work. She kissed me good-bye, and that was the last time I saw her alive.”
She could feel the tears gathering behind her lids and knew it wouldn’t be long before they slipped down her cheeks. She leaned against his chest and sighed in the safety and comfort of his arms when he wrapped them around her. He gave her the courage to continue, to say out loud what she’d never told anyone before.
“I got a call from Dr. Carson the next morning. He told me he was sorry, but there had been an accident, and Mom was dead.”
The tears fell freely now, and her body shook with the effort to remain calm so she could tell him the rest. Fighting back the sobs, she took a couple calming breaths before continuing.
“Later, I found out she’d been attacked by one of the feral dogs they’d been keeping at the office. Apparently, it had been brought in the day before by a stranger and was supposed to have been put down that evening, but hadn’t been for some reason or other. No one could explain to me how it had gotten out of its cage or how it had disappeared from the office after killing my mother.”
She leaned back and looked up into Lorent’s hazel eyes. “Knowing what I do now, you can understand why I question what happened to her.”
He nodded and wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs. “Yes. I understand, and I think you are probably right to doubt that it was an accident.”
“Is it my fault? Did my mother even have the scent, or was she killed because I had the scent? Now I think it was a rogue that killed her and could smell me on her.”
“If your mother was as wonderful as you say, she would not want you to blame yourself for any of what happened to her.”
“Yes, I know, but it’s hard to forgive myself for possibly being the cause of my own mother’s death.”
“Melony. You cannot blame yourself for something that you had no control over. What’s in the past is in the past. You must focus on the future.”
“Logically, I know this, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty or from wondering that if I am right, where is the bastard that killed my mother? If a rogue killed Mom, I want him punished.”
Lorent’s eyes suddenly looked haunted, and she squeezed his hands gently. “You are no longer a rogue. You are a good man.”
He stared at her with such sorrow in his eyes, her heart ached.
“Tell me,” she whispered. “Tell me what haunts you so.”
“I can’t.”
She stood. “I’ve opened my heart to you. Told you something that I’ve never told another, will probably never tell another. If you care for me, if you want us to have a future together like I do, you have to trust me. I cannot be with you if you cannot trust me.”
“I do trust you, Melony, but I can’t tell you. You’ll hate me, and I can’t bear that.”
She cupped his cheek. “I won’t hate you. I care for you, Lorent. I want to be with you. I want to see where the future leads us, but I won’t lie. I can’t be with a man who keeps himself from me. In fact, I’ll be wide open with you. I love you. But I can’t be with you if you don’t believe that I will love you no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you do.”
Chapter Sixteen
She loved him? Lorent wanted to jump up and shout in joy to the heavens, wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, wanted to make love to Melony right then and there, but hadn’t she just said she couldn’t be with him if he didn’t tell her about his past? How could he do that? If he did, she’d hate him. And did he love her? He wasn’t sure because he didn’t know what love felt like. He cared about her, didn’t want to lose her, would protect her with his own life, but was that love?