“Who?”
I gave her a disappointed stare. “You should really listen to that nineties playlist I made you. You’d understand so many more of my references.”
Amy decided to ignore this and returned to the more important conversation. “I’m still not sure what you expect me to do,” she said. “How do we make Ryder think I’m wrong for him?”
“Well, first, I won’t IM him on your account again. And if he IMs you, you ignore him. Or say something rude.”
Amy grimaced, as if the idea of being rude, even to someone she disliked, was physically painful.
“Or you can ask me to say something rude. Whatever.”
“And what about in person?” she asked. “We go to school together. He thinks we’ve been talking this whole time — he’s already trying to hang out with me.”
“You blow him off,” I say. “Act flaky. Or self-absorbed.”
Even as I said it, I knew this was going to prove to be a challenge for Amy.
“I’ll help you,” I said. “You guys don’t have any classes together, anyway. But when he does come up to you, I’ll be your director. We’re pretty much together all the time as it is, and I know exactly what it takes to piss off Ryder Cross. I might as well have a PhD in it.”
“I’m still not sure …”
“Please, Amy.” I clasped my hands together and gave her the biggest, saddest eyes I could manage. “Please. I need this.”
“You really like him that much?” she asked.
“Yeah. I think I do.”
I was not a particularly romantic person. Up until now, I’d only ever had two crushes in my life. The first was my childish obsession with Amy’s brother. The second equally as unattainable crush was on Greg Johnson, the news anchor. A celebrity crush, if you will.
But Ryder was different. The fluttery feeling I got in my stomach wasn’t based on how he looked (though staring at him in history class was not entirely unpleasant) or just because he was nice to me (because he wasn’t always). My feelings for him had formed over the course of our instant message conversations — all of which had lasted hours. I’d never talked to anyone for hours before, aside from Amy. We’d just clicked. He was smart and surprisingly funny.
Even if he was also a pretentious hipster.
“You hated him a couple of weeks ago,” Amy said. “What if you change your mind about him again?”
“I won’t,” I assured her. “Believe me, Amy. He’s not the asshole we thought. I mean, he sort of is, but not exactly. Ugh. I know I sound crazy. Just tell me you’ll help. You have to.”
She looked down at her half-eaten lunch. “I guess I will. As long as it doesn’t go on too long —”
“Eee! Thank you!” I sprang across the table to throw my arms around her, my chest landing right in her plate of french fries. “I love you, I love you, I love you! You are my favorite human being, Amy Rush.” And with that, I planted a kiss right on her cheek.
She blushed, either pleased or embarrassed. Then she said, “Um … Mr. Buckley just walked into the cafeteria, and he’s giving us a very strange look. Probably because you’re on top of the table, so …”
I laughed and pushed myself up and away from her, easing back into my seat. “I’ve done weirder things in class. He’s used to it.”
“I don’t know if that’s something to brag about,” she said. Then her eyes widened. “Oh, no! Your shirt.”
“What?” I looked down.
Ketchup.
On my white shirt.
All over my boobs.
“Fan-freaking-tastic,” I said, even though I was laughing.
“Sorry,” Amy moaned. As if it was her fault I’d launched myself across the lunch table.
“It’s cool,” I said. “I’ll just tell everyone I’m dressed as a murder victim. I mean, we’re only a few days from Halloween. No one will think twice.”
The bell rang and we threw our trash out before heading to our third block classes.
“I have my gym clothes in my locker,” Amy said. “You could borrow that T-shirt. It might be a little stinky, but there’s no ketchup on it.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “Maybe I’ll start a new trend.”
But my mind changed when I spotted Ryder heading down the hallway toward us. The reality of what I must look like hit me, and I was suddenly far less comfortable with it. I was supposed to be making a good impression, after all, and perhaps it wasn’t best to start off with a giant red splotch across my breasts.
I ducked into an alcove, dragging Amy with me. We pressed against the wall and stayed quiet as he walked by, alone.
He was always alone.
My heart ached for him a little, almost overriding my embarrassment.
Once he’d turned the next corner, heading toward the library, I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Amy gave me a small, knowing smile.
“So …,” I said. “Yeah. About that stinky T-shirt.”
Chapter 8
“How do I look?”
Amy squinted two very sleepy eyes at me. She wasn’t really supposed to be awake yet, but I was about to sneak out before her parents got up, and I needed her opinion on this crucial matter. So, with great effort, I’d shaken her out of sleep to show her the outfit I’d chosen. Jeans, newly clean and a little snug, and a hunter-green cowl-neck sweater with elbow-length sleeves.
It was the only nice top I’d brought to Amy’s with me, and I’d been saving it for special occasions or, now that I was unemployed, job interviews. Interviews that, to my intense distress, had not yet occurred. It was my good-impression top, and today I needed to make a damn good impression.
“I don’t think you’ve ever asked me that question before,” Amy said.
“Well, I’m asking you now.” I glanced at the full-length mirror that hung on the back of her bedroom door. My curls, despite my best efforts, were still a little wild, but they weren’t too outrageous. “I’ve got to be friendly with Ryder today, and Snobby McSnobberson won’t be so willing if I look like the homeless ruffian that I am.”
“It’s too early for you to use words like ‘ruffian,’” Amy mumbled. She stretched her arms over her head and let out a huge yawn. “And if he’s so snobby, why are you doing this?”
“Because he’s cute and I want to kiss his face.”
“Right.”
“The problem is, he wants to kiss your face. So today is the beginning of our master plan to change that. Which means I need to look decent, so … how do I look?”
“Like a back-to-school clothing commercial.”
“Perfect.” I picked up my backpack, gave my hair one last check, and grinned at Amy. “Today, it begins.”
“Mm-hm.” She flopped back on the bed, eyes already closed.
I hurried out of the Rushes’ house and down the street to where Gert waited. And, to my relief, she decided to run that morning.
I arrived at school with enough time to pop into the bathroom and give myself one more once-over before heading to Mr. Buckley’s class. I was feeling uncharacteristically nervous.
I might have had a major crush on Ryder, but he still couldn’t stand me. Which meant I had to ease him into it. If I could get him to tolerate me, it would only be a matter of time before he realized that I, not Amy, was the person he wanted to make out with.
This was the most crucial step of the plan, and I couldn’t afford to screw it up.
The classroom was almost full by the time I slid into my seat behind Ryder. He didn’t even look up as I walked past.
“Good morning,” I said.
No response. But that wasn’t a surprise.
I’d gone over and over the words I wanted to say to him, the phrasing I’d use to convince him to hear me out. But staring at the back of his head, at the hunched muscles in his shoulders, I felt myself start to panic. What if it just went down like last time? What if he didn’t let me get a word out? What if I made him hate me even more?