“Mr. La Peña, I appreciate your time,” the puffy-haired girl said.
“Can we send him home?” the lovely woman said. “He looks like he’s had a long day.” The girl nodded.
Ms. Holiday smiled and held out her hand. Spencer took it and a tingling feeling raced through him. He’d never been near someone so pretty.
“It was very nice to meet you, Ms. Holiday,” he said. “Perhaps we could get together sometime. You know, I have an extra ticket to Comic Con.”
Ms. Holiday blushed and Spencer felt a jolt. Then he looked down and realized the woman had injected him with something, just like the kids had at the coffee shop.
“Aww man,” he said, but he was asleep before he could say anything else.
The next morning he woke up in his apartment, curled up in bed, feeling as if he had had the best night of sleep of his life. He sat up, rubbed the sand from his eyes, and felt an incredible rush of inspiration roll over him. He darted to his phone and dialed his editor at the comic book company.
“Pete, this is Spencer,” he said excitedly. “Pete, just listen to me. I have the best idea for a comic book ever! It’s about these five kids. They work for the government and they have this very hot woman overseeing them. They ride around in a rocket and . . . what am I calling it? I haven’t figured it out yet, but it’s my next project. What? Forget about the novel. Feudal China can wait!”
Albert had a routine. Every day he woke up at the crack of 2:00 PM. He would eat a breakfast of whatever fast food he had not finished the night before. Then he would take a nap.
At 4:00 he would wake and watch a series of courtroom shows featuring sassy but fair judges. He particularly enjoyed Judge Creole, who was Cajun and had a spicy personality to match. At 6:00 he would stagger out of the basement and head to the comic shop to either buy new books or just hang out. At 10:00 he would head back home to watch whatever science fiction television show he had taped and eat something that came from a can and could be cooked in the microwave.
But his whole routine was turned upside-down now that he had a job. His day started whenever the squirrels began scampering around the trees, snapping and screeching at one another, and knocking pinecones down on his head. This was usually around 5:00 AM. His mama was usually up by then preparing a breakfast of fruit, whole grain bread, and sugar-free oatmeal. It made him gag. Simon and his goon would join them, and they would talk about things in the news, the weather, and their diabolical plans for crushing the spirit of everyone on the planet. Albert found it tedious. He did not feel much like socializing in the morning, let alone eating a wholesome breakfast.
Then Simon and his paid muscle, along with the squirrels, would climb out of the tree fortress and set off to rob a bank, leaving Albert alone with his mother. This was the part of the day that Albert really hated.
“I tell you, Albert. You are ten thousand times smarter than that kid. Does he really think he can rule the world? You should be in charge of this whole operation,” his mama said.
“Mama, it’s his plan and he’s paying for everything,” Albert argued.
Mama shrugged. “A waste of money if you ask me. Albert, I appreciate your loyalty but I’m just saying, if you hear someone knocking on the door, that’s opportunity.”
“Are you telling me I should betray him?”
“Shhhhhhhh!” Mama cried. “You have no idea if one of those furry little tree rats is up in the branches. I swear they understand him when he talks.”
“Mama, I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Albert said. “You’re meddling, just like you did when I was a kid.”
“I never meddled!”
Albert was stunned. “Mama, you had your finger in everything I did. All the pushing to be a scientist. Well, here I am, a scientist, and now that’s not enough. I don’t want to take over the world. I want to save it.”
“You are so naive,” Mama said, slamming her pot of oatmeal down on the table. “What kind of money does a superhero make? Is there a retirement plan? Do you get medical insurance? Dental? Do you even get a parking space or a cubicle? We’re talking about the future, Albert! You are almost forty years old. You can either buckle down with a job that will give you control over the whole world or run around in long underwear wondering how you’re going to pay the gas bill!”
Albert frowned. His mama just didn’t understand, but that’s not what bothered him. He had been dreaming about being a hero for twenty-five years, and in only a few short days he had turned to a life of crime. Ruling the world? The thought made him shudder. Had he really sunk that low? He was no better than Two-Face or Lex Luthor. He was helping an evil genius. Simon shouldn’t have been his employer. He should have been his nemesis.
Albert pushed his disappointment from his mind and flipped on his computer. He had to get to work, and today he was on the hunt. He typed the word “diamonds” into the search engine. For the weapon, he needed enough diamonds to fill a truck.
Results came up—mostly references to the late Marilyn Monroe and an actress named Zsa Zsa Gabor. But as Albert scrolled down, he found something truly interesting. He clicked on it and found that there was a collection of giant diamonds just waiting to be snatched. But as he read further, he discovered something very uncomfortable.
“Mama, I found parts for the big ray gun,” he said.
Mama clapped. “I knew you would. How do we get them?”
“I’m going to have to learn to swim.”
Duncan stood in his bedroom, Benjamin hovering patiently around his head.
“Gluestick?” the orb buzzed. “I asked you if you wanted your usual set of clothing.”
“Yes, I know, I’m . . . thinking,” Duncan said.
“Might I ask what you are thinking about?”
Duncan studied a picture of his family that hung on the wall. They all looked so normal, except for him. “Changing my style.”
The little blue orb seemed surprised. “You have a style?”
Duncan sighed. “Benjamin, do you think I’m awkward?”
“I am aware that you and the team share a certain number of social obstacles, but as a computer it is difficult to process why that might be a problem. I’ve come to understand that you are frequently teased, but you mustn’t forget that being a nerd is a big part of your cover story. Your awkwardness keeps people from paying too much attention to you so that your duties as a spy are not hindered.”
“Oh, if we humans only thought like you—all processors and logic. But the thing is, I’ve been used to being a nerd for a while now. At school kids have been calling me a geek since I was five. It never really bothered me because I felt like I was different for a reason. I also knew that I could go home after school and be someplace where people thought I was great . . . I never thought I’d be a misfit here, too.”
The orb blinked at him.
“Tanisha says I’m not like the rest of the family. She says I don’t fit in here.”
“I’ve been told that human beings frequently say and do things they regret when they are angry. I’m sure the Creature will apologize to you soon.”
“No, I don’t think she will,” Duncan said. He’d seen her a dozen times since the incident with TJ, and she wouldn’t even look at him.
“Well, don’t make too much of it. There are plenty of people who think you fit in just fine. Still, a little wardrobe update might do you good,” the orb said.
Suddenly, rolls of fabric were unfolding out of the wall and the sounds of scissors and tape filled the air.
In no time, Duncan stepped out of his room only to walk smack into the Creature. Tanisha snarled at him, then eyed him up and down.