“No worries, Ms. Nesbitt,” Simon replied. “They’re very busy trying to stop our evil plan in Hawaii. I leaked the information about the volcano to the military when I stole their hoverplane. I knew the NERDS would come running. It’s Agent Brand’s weakness. He’s a preemptive strike kind of guy and thus predictable. Soon, the NERDS will realize they’ve been fooled again and they’ll race back here, but when they arrive, we will have already taken the microchips we need. Unfortunately, we have to wait until they arrive so we can take their rocket. We’ll need it to get the machine into space.”
“What are you talking about?” Mama cried. “This is just a school. There are no microchips. No rockets!”
Simon stopped at a bank of lockers and opened one of the doors. “Care to fall down the rabbit hole, Ms. Nesbitt?”
Simon stepped in and closed the door.
“He’s crazy, right?” Mama said. She opened the door. The locker was empty.
The goon shrugged and crawled in next. Seconds later, he vanished as well. Then it was Mama’s turn, and finally Albert’s.
He opened the locker door and saw a glowing blue light inside. A calm, female voice said, “Prepare to enter the Playground.”
Albert poked his head inside but could not find the source of the invitation. “Hello?”
“Prepare to enter the Playground,” the voice repeated.
“How do I do that?”
“Step into the locker for delivery.”
Albert eyed the tiny space. “I’m not sure I’ll fit.”
“Step into the locker for delivery.”
Albert crammed a leg into the locker and then squeezed his massive belly inside. His latex suit made his efforts sound like a clown twisting the world’s largest balloon animal. How he managed to get his head inside he would never know, but after twenty minutes of serious effort he finally got the locker door shut behind him.
“I hope this is really the way in, ’cause there is no way I’m ever getting out.”
“Delivery in five, four, three, two, one.”
The floor beneath Albert slid open, but he did not fall. In fact, he hung above the hole, kicking his feet in hopes of dislodging himself. It didn’t work. “I’m stuck!” he cried.
“Administering slippery jelly,” the voice said, and a spray of fluid basted him like a Thanksgiving turkey. But he was still crammed in tight.
“Still stuck,” Albert said, feeling embarrassed.
“Calculating Plan B. Please hold,” the voice said.
“Oh, c’mon!” he cried.
“Prepare for delivery,” the voice said as something snatched Albert by the ankle. It felt like a hand and it tugged at him until finally he was dislodged. A moment later he wished he had stayed stuck. His body was thrown through a series of tubes. He rolled through a loopty-loop, then along a conveyor belt, and finally tumbled down a tube and shot out of it like a cannonball onto a hard concrete floor.
He adjusted his mask, which had come askew in the fall, and looked around. His jaw dropped because of what he saw— hundreds of workstations filled with experiments of all kinds, computers with monstrous hard drives, technology beyond anything he had ever imagined. He might have stared at it all day, but then he noticed a tiny blue orb floating about.
“I have alerted security,” the orb chirped. “Stay still and you will be arrested at any moment.”
“What are you?” Mama asked.
“This is Benjamin,” Simon said, making introductions. “Good to see you, old friend.”
“Hello, traitor,” the ball chirped. “You do not have permission to enter the Playground. Your agent credentials have been revoked. You are a wanted fugitive.”
“Hypnotize this thing,” Simon cried to Albert. “I’ve taken care of the others.” He gestured to the hundred scientists standing obediently in one corner.
Albert aimed his ray gun at the little blue ball and pulled the trigger. There was a loud screech and the ball smoked as if its circuits were on fire. Then it righted itself.
“How can I help you?” Benjamin asked blandly.
“We’re looking to borrow a few of your fancy microchips, Benjamin,” Simon said.
“But first, I want my superpowers,” Albert said.
“Fine! Benjamin, will you put Mr. Nesbitt through the upgrade process?”
The little ball chirped. “The upgrade process is designed for children. It has never been done on a full-grown adult.”
“But that’s only because it’s programmed not to, right? Not because it can’t.”
“That’s correct.”
“Then get started. The rest of us will collect what we need,” Simon said, then turned to Albert. “Oh, and allow me to be the first person to say hello to the world’s first real superhero.”
“Follow me,” the orb said. It floated into a tiny room, and Albert tentatively followed. Once inside, a heavy door closed behind him and a chair rose up out of the floor.
“Please have a seat,” the ball said.
Albert sat down and was immediately strapped into place. His ray gun fell to the floor. “Hey!”
“Just relax,” Benjamin said as a bank of lasers appeared on each wall. Their light beams traced every part of Albert’s body. “Scanning for weaknesses. Oh dear. Um, just relax, Albert. This is going to take a while.”
DETAILS REGARDING
UPGRADE EFFORTS
ON SUBJECT
ALBERT NESBITT
The flight back to Arlington was not quiet. Ms. Holiday spent most of it scolding Duncan for disobeying orders and, more seriously, for scaring her half to death. Agent Brand sat nearby, smoldering. He stood up, paced back and forth, then sat down again, only to repeat it all a moment later.
When the School Bus finally landed in the gymnasium, it was met by several panicked scientists.
“There’s four of them, not to mention the squirrels,” a scientist said between anxious gasps.
“One of them is Choppers and this guy with a hook for a hand. They’re tearing up the Playground,” another scientist said. “But they’re nothing compared to the woman. There’s murder in her eyes—pure evil. We snuck out but everyone else is down there with them.”
“You didn’t mention the other guy with them who was wearing the goofy costume,” the third scientist cried. “I saw them take him into the upgrade room. I think they’re trying to give him upgrades.”
“There’s no need to worry about that,” Ms. Holiday said. “Benjamin will only upgrade kids.”
“Albert’s ray gun could fix that,” Duncan said.
Agent Brand’s face fell. “Ms. Holiday, suit up. I’m afraid we’ve been invaded.”
Ms. Holiday raced off while Brand took the children through the tunnels that led to the Playground. They found chaos waiting. Tables were turned over, experiments were busted on the floor, and a hundred scientists in lab coats were bound and gagged.
Brand took the gag out of one scientist’s mouth. “What’s happened?”
“It was Choppers—”
“Where is he?”
“He put that guy in the suit in the upgrade chair and then he and the rest of them emptied out the processors from every computer,” the man said.
“All right, you’re going to have to be patient. We’ve got a crisis on our hands and no time to untie you all. It’s best if you’re out of the way,” the agent said. Before he could give more orders, the door to the upgrade room opened and out came Albert Nesbitt.
Duncan was shocked at what he saw. Albert’s entire body was covered in computer ports—for USB cables, FireWire adapters, and all manners of plugs, both foreign and domestic. Albert looked down at himself, perplexed.
“What has happened to me?” he asked. “What kind of superpower is this?”