"What's going on up there?" Frumple demands, appearin' at my side.
"Here," I sez out of the side of my mouth, pushin' some money into his hand. "Take this."
"What's this for?" he sez, scowlin' at my offerin'.
"That should cover the bar bill for our table since this afternoon."
"Your bar bill?" he frowns. "I don't get it. We had a deal. I give you free drinks, and you don't bust up my place or tell anyone ... my secret."
"Don't worry," I sez, showin' him a few teeth. "Your secret is safe."
"Then what ... Hey! Wait a minute! You aren't going to ..."
Just then, the police reach us.
Now, earlier Nunzio and me was commentin' how there wasn't anyone in the bar who could give us a run for our money. This situational changes when these cops roll in. There are four of them, and while none of them looks particularly tough physically bein' uniformly soft around the middle, there is a steadiness in their eyes that anyone in the business can spot as the mark of someone what don't get particularly rattled when trouble starts.
"All right!" the biggest one of 'em says, steppin' up to us. "What's going on here?"
As you might guess, people of Nunzio's and my profession are not overly fond of the authorities of the law, particularly the street variety, and we usually give them wide berth. So in actual confrontation such as this, it is not too difficult for us to act unpleasant.
"What kind of town is this?" Nunzio bellows, glarin' around at the crowd. "A man in uniform tries to have a quiet drink ... and the next thing you know, some bimbo is trying to set him up for a bum rap!!"
"Just take it easy, soldier," the cop sez, friendlylike. "You're among friends now. There are a couple of us who were in the service ourselves once."
This is somethin' we hadn't counted on. The last thing we need right now is for the cops to act reasonable. I figure it is about time I take a hand in the proceedin's personally.
"Oh, yeah?" I sneers. "What happened? You chicken out when it looked like there might actually be some fightin' to be done? Figured it was safer hasslin' drunks than gettin' shot at?"
"Cool down, soldier," the cop smiles, but I can see his lips are real tight. "Let's just step outside and discuss this."
"You hear that?" Nunzio shouts to the Flie brothers who are still holdin' down our table. "They don't mind taking our money for drinks ... but when we catch 'em tryin' to roll one of our boys, THEN they try to send us packing!"
"Oh yeah?" Shu Flie bristles and stands up, crowdin' toward us followed close by his brother. "Well if they want us out of here, they're gonna have to throw us out!"
Caught between us on one side and the Flie brothers on the other, the cops start gettin' nervous, swivelin' their heads back and forth tryin' to keep an eye on all of us.
"Now hold on a minute!" the cop we was talkin' to sez. "Who are you saying was trying to roll you?"
"That floozie upstairs!" Nunzio snarls, jerkin' a thumb back over his shoulder. "She gave our buddy the big come on ... crawlin' all over him, you know? Then when we go up to see if he's all right 'cause he's been drinkin', she's goin' through his pockets!"
"That's right!" Hy Flie sez. "We were sittin' right over there when this bombshell starts playing up to Junebug here!"
"Of course, they stick up for each other!" one of the guys in the front of the crowd snorts to the fellow next to him.
I don't think he meant to be heard, but Shu Flie was standin' right beside him and caught it.
"Are you callin' my brother a liar?" he sez, startin' for the loudmouth.
I'm thinking we got the fight in the bag, but one of the cops gets between 'em holdin' them apart with a hand on each of their chests.
"Back off! Both of you!" he orders. "We're going to get to the bottom of this ..."
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT SOLDIER!!"
The Military Police have arrived and come pushin' through the crowd to join our discussion group.
"Military personnel are to be handled by the MPs and not pushed around by some cop with a chip on his shoulder!"
The sergeant in charge of the MPs is a real bruiser and just the kind of Joe I wanted to see ... not too bright and dog-stubborn. He has three of his buddies with him, so we really outnumber the cops. Then I see some more police uniforms comin' through the door and have to revise my count again. It looks like a real party shapin' up.
"We weren't pushing him around!" the first cop sez, steppin' in nose to nose with the MP sergeant. "What's more, this investigation involves a civilian, so until we find out what happened ..."
"We caught some bimbo tryin' to roll one of our boys!" Shu Flie shouts at the MP. "And now they're all tryin' to cover up for her!"
"Is that so!" the MP scowls, glarin' around at the bar. "These soldiers risk their lives to keep things safe for you, and this is the thanks they get?"
What a great guy, I think. What a great, gullible, thick-headed guy. He could probably get this fight started all by himself ... if we let him.
"I resent that remark!" our cop snarls, finally startin' to lose it. "We risk our lives too, you know!"
"Oh excuse me! I forgot!" the MP smiles nastylike. "You're in constant danger of choking to death on a doughnut!"
"Doughnut, is it?" the cop sez, lookin' around slow at the other cops ... maybe to count heads and check the odds before decidin' what to do or say next.
I turned my head to sneak a wink at Nunzio, just in time to see Tananda make her entrance from the stairs.
"THERE THEY ARE!!!" she shrieks, "Those are the soldiers that attacked me!!"
It would seem that she has been busy with her disguise gizmo, because the bruise I have earlier commented on is now clearly in evidence ... although to an experienced eye such as my own, it is obvious that it is not a recent injury. Of course, bein' Tananda and havin' a flair for the dramatic, she has not stopped there. While the dress she is wearin' is the same color as the one she had on earlier, its hemline and fit are a lot more modest than the hot outfit she used to get Junebug's attention ... and more. On top of that, her wild, sexy hairdo now looks more like some librarian's maidenly bun what has been pawed to pieces. The real beauty of all this, however, is that she is standin' where the cops can see her, but the MPs can't! Of course, the crowd can see her, too.
"That's no floozie!" the guy what mouthed off earlier sez.
"Hey! I think she works with me!" someone else chimes in.
"See what happens when they let soldiers in here?"
The crowd is startin' to get ugly, but to give the cop credit, he tries to calm things down.
"Just relax, everybody!" he hollers. "We're handling this!"
Then he turns back to the MP, his face all grimlike.
"We've got to get to the bottom of this, sergeant," he sez. "I want you to hold those three men ..."
As he's sayin' this, he raises his hand to point in our direction.
Now there is a gag that Nunzio and I have pulled so often that we don't even have to look at each other now to know what to do. We are still holdin' Junebug up by his arms, and the cop is close enough that when he tries to point at us, it's an easy matter for us to move Junebug sideways in front of his hand ... then let go!
Unless you are watchin' real close at the right moment, this looks exactly like the cop took a poke at Junebug and decked him!
Realizin' the already tense nature of the situational, this is a little like beatin' on a blastin' cap with a hammer.
The MP starts to reach for the cop, but I get there first ... mostly 'cause I know what is comin' and have a head start.