By the time I am halfway to the throne, I am startin' to get desperate over how long it's takin' and look around to see where Nunzio is. As it turns out, he is havin' even more trouble than me, havin' progressed a mere six steps before gettin' boxed in behind a gaggle of old biddies. They are not about to give ground for anyone, and it appears that short of punchin' his way through them, he isn't gonna make it to the front at all.
Of course, this leaves it to me to beat the others to the queen ... which suits me just fine. Redoublin' my efforts, I sneak a peek upward to check Tananda's progress, only to find I can no longer see her at all.
Just then, someone lets loose with a blast of brass horns ... and the queen appears.
For a moment, I am too stunned to keep pushin' forward ... in fact, I lose a couple steps.
You see, I met Queen Hemlock back at the same time I met the Boss, and more recently had a chance to refresh my memory while gazin' at a propaganda leaflet. While she is not what you would call a knockout, neither is she exactly plain. The woman easin' herself onto the throne, however, looks so much different than those images that if they hadn't hollered out her name as she walked in, I probably wouldn't have recognized her. Of course, even just passin' her on the street, the crown would have been a pretty strong clue.
She looks like she hasn't been sleepin' very well, as there are big dark circles under her eyes, and it looks like she's been off her feed ... well, more so than normal as she's always been a bit on the scrawny side. Then the first guy in line starts yammerin' about how he thinks his business is payin' too much taxes, and for a minute I think she's gonna burst into tears.
It occurs to me that however successful her expansion may look from the outside, it doesn't look like it's makin' Queen Hemlock any too happy. Just then I spot Chumley ... or at least a big figure in a hooded cloak ... edgin' along the wall behind the guards not ten feet from where the queen is sittin', and know I have run out of time. Slidin' one of the throwin' knives down my sleeve, I start eyeballin' the distance between me and Hemlock. It's gonna be one heck of a throw, but it won't get any easier by my starin' at it, so I step back for balance and ...
... And all hell breaks loose at the back of the room!
At first I think the guards have jumped Nunzio, but when I look his way he is standin' clear of the action, lookin' right back at me and pointin' desperately out the door, mouthin' somethin' I can't make out over the hubbub. I crane my neck tryin' to figure out what he's pointin' at, but all I can see is the crowd outside the throne room is partin' . , . makin' way for something or somebody.
There's a ripple of noise spreadin' forward from the back of the crowd, buildin' in volume as more and more voices join in. Abandonin' my efforts to see what's goin' on, I bend an ear to try to sort out what it is they're sayin'.
"... magician ..."
"He's back!"
"HE'S COMING!"
"... COURT MAGICIAN!!!"
"LOOK!! THERE HE IS!! IT'S ..."
"THE GREAT SKEEVEH!"
... And it was!!
Just as I make out the words, the crowd at the back of the throne room parts, and the Boss comes walkin' in ... and Aahz is with him!! They seem to be arguin', of course, and are totally ignorin' the crowd around them which first surges back, then presses forward like a wall.
I am out of the audience before I am aware that I have trampled several of Possiltum's citizens in my haste, and pass Massha who is always a little slow off the line because of her size. I see Nunzio comin' through the crowd, knockin' people down like duckpins, and am vaguely aware that I am doin' the same ... but I don't care. I am just happy to see the Boss here and in one piece.
"SKEEVE!"
I hear someone shout in a voice that sorta sounds like the queen's, but by now I am six steps out and closin' fast.
Now, I have never been fond of the Mob tradition of men huggin' each other, but this time I figure to make an exception.
"BOSS!!" I hollers, and throws my arms wide and ...
... And the room spins ... then everythin' goes black!
Chapter Twenty:
"I want a rematch!"
-M. TYSON
"GUIDO! HEY! COME on! Wake up!"
I can hear Nunzio's voice, but decide to keep my eyes closed a little while longer. Havin' had numerous similar experiences in the past, I have no difficulty figurin' out what has happened ... which is to say I have been knocked cold. The difficult part is recallin' the circumstantials which led to this condition, a task which is not made any simpler by the fact that my brain is still a little scrambled from the experience ... which is why I have chosen to pretend I am still out to lunch whilst I composes myself.
We were in the throne room ... then the Boss walked in with Aahz ... I started over to greet him ... Nunzio was comin' over to do the same thing ... then ...
I get a fix on Nunzio's location from his voice, then open my eyes and sit up quick-like, grabbin' him by the throat as I do so.
"Did you just sucker punch me, cousin?" I sez, curious-like.
The world starts to spin again a little, makin' me reconsider the wisdom of havin' tried to move so fast so soon after regainin' consciousness, but I blink a couple times to clear my vision and it settles down. I also notice that Nunzio is turnin' a little purple, so I loose my grip on his throat so's he can answer me.
"It ... wasn't me!" he squeaks.
Seein' as how Nunzio is usually very proud of his work ... particularly on those occasions when he has just worked on me ... I figure he is tellin' the truth and open my grip the rest of the way.
"Well if you didn't do it," I frowns, still blinkin' a little, "then who ..."
"Meet Pookie," he sez, pointin' over my shoulder with his left thumb, as his right hand is busy rubbin' his throat. "She's the Boss's new bodyguard."
"New bodyguard?" I sez, takin' a look behind me and ...
The world stops ... as does my heart and lungs.
Now, when I say this chick is stunnin', it has nothin' to do with the fact that she just knocked me cold. She has the smooth, strong lines of a panther ... except for a few pleasant roundin's one does not normally find on a cat of any size. She also has green scales and yellow eyes which are regardin' me levelly.
"Sorry about the mix-up," she sez, not soundin' at all sorry, "but you came in so fast that Skeeve didn't have a chance to tell me you were on our side. Anyway, pleased to meet you ... I guess. Here's your knife back."
I look at the throwin' knife she is holdin' out and realize it is indeed one of mine. I musta still been holdin' it in my hand when I went to greet the Boss, which is an embarrassin' oversight. One of the troubles with havin' big hands is that sometimes one forgets one is holdin' things.
"New bodyguard, huh?" I sez, not bein' able to think of anythin' wittier to say as I accepts the knife and stashes it.
"We met on Perv," she sez, a little frosty. "Skeeve needed a bodyguard ... and it seems he didn't have one with him."
Now I am not so far gone that I can't spot a professional rebuke when I hear one.
"We didn't like it, either," I growl, "but the Boss ordered us not to go along with him and asked us to lend a hand here instead."
Pookie thinks about this for a second, then gives a small nod.
"That explains a few things," she sez, unthawin' a little. "Skeeve's being alone had me wondering about you two, but I guess you really didn't have much choice in the matter."
There is no reason why her approval should mean anything to me ... but it does.
"So, you're from Perv, huh?" I sez, tryin' to prolong the conversation.
"She's my cousin," Aahz sez, and for the first rime I become aware that he is standin' nearby.