I turned. The bride was there in neon and white. Her face looked worried in the torchlight. "Massha! How come you and Hugh aren't dancing?"
"I've got a little problem," she said, edging close and putting her hand through my arm. Any time someone looked at us she beamed at them, but not convincingly. "We started opening the wedding presents, and one of them kind of blew up on us."
"What?" I bellowed. The whole crowd turned to look. I grabbed Massha and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Congratulations! You'll make a great court magician." Skeeve had let me know about Queen Hemlock's decision. I concurred that it was the best solution for both of them. That way she and Badaxe would have equal status at court. I knew I was trumping Hemlock's own announcement, but it was the most legitimate way I could think of to cover my outburst.
"Thanks, Aahz," Massha said, beaming from the teeth out. The crowd lost interest and went back to their drinks and conversation. She looked like she might burst into tears.
"Which gift?" I murmured.
"Don Brace's."
My eyes must have started glowing, because she grabbed my arm. "Hold on, hot stuff. It's not his fault. If anything, it's ours. When we peeled off the paper there was this big box with a red button on one side. No instructions. My detector,"—she showed me the gaudy bracelet studded with orange stones on one arm—"didn't show any harmful magik inside, so we went ahead and pushed the button."
I sighed. "What happened? What was it?"
She giggled, torn between worry and amusement. "A house. A cottage, really. It's lovely. The carpets are deep enough to hide your feet, the walls are draped with silk hangings embroidered with all of Hugh's victories, and the windows are sixteen colors of leaded glass. The trouble is it's in the middle of the throne room."
It was. An otherwise good-looking, split-level cottage with a two- stall stable and a white picket fence had appeared practically on the steps of Queen Hemlock's throne. The room had been designated as the repository for wedding gifts, since security there was always tight, and no one was likely to wander in without an invitation, no matter how curious they were about Massha's china pattern.
Tananda and Chumley were on guard in the room. Tanda had taken off her elaborate headpiece. Chumley, a bow tie now undone under his furry chin, sat with his back against the doorpost. Nunzio and Guido, dapper yet businesslike in tuxedos, had arrived. They'd donned their fedoras as a sign to anyone who knew the trade that they were working. Massha's bridesmaids were clustered around a table full of presents. One of them was making a bouquet out of the ribbons. Another had a big bag full of discarded wrappings. Another had a quill and a bottle of ink, and was writing down who had given what.
"Has anyone told Skeeve yet?" I asked, taking the members of M.Y.T.H. Inc. to one side.
"No," said Massha.
"Don't," I said flatly.
"The Boss has a right to know," Guido said automatically, then looked guilty. "You got it. Mum."
"Have you tried to get it back in the box?"
"Of course," Massha said. "But the button has disappeared. So has the box."
I peered at the house. Fairytale honeymoon cottages didn't come cheap. This couldn't be construed as an insult from Don Bruce. Besides, as far as I knew, based upon updates from Tanda and Bunny, we were in good books with the Fairy Godfather. He was a careful man. He would have furnished instructions. So where were they?
"Has anyone else been in here that shouldn't have been?" I asked.
"No one," the bridesmaid with the quill said. Her name was Fulsa. She had round hazel eyes in a round, pink face. "A few people peeked in. Oh! There was a blue dragon in here for a while. I think he belongs to the Court Magician."
Gleep? I glanced at Massha.
"He just came in to sniff around the presents," she explained. "I think he felt left out, but I didn't really think he was well enough to be in the ceremony." She studied my face. "Any reason I should be worried about him?"
"I don't know," I said. But the two of us went out to the stable to make sure.
I'd never been thrilled that Skeeve had acquired a baby dragon. They live for hundreds of years, so their infancy and youth are correspondingly long. Gleep was still considered to be a very young dragon. He had a playful streak that sometimes wreaked havoc on our habitations. Skeeve believed he was a lot smarter than I did. I was reconciled to his presence, even grateful at times. He was still recovering from having stopped an arrow. The foot-wide trail through the straw on the way to his stall showed that something long and heavy had passed through there at least once.
A scaly blue mass in the corner began to snore as I entered. I went to stand by its head.
"Come on, Gleep," I said. "I know you're only pretending to be asleep. If you're as intelligent as Skeeve thinks I'm sure you understand me."
The long neck uncoiled, and the head levered up until it was eye to eye with me. "Gleep!" the dragon said brightly. I jumped back, gagging. That reptile's breath could peel paint off a wall.
"Did you take a piece of parchment from the throne room?" I asked.
Gleep cocked his head. "Gleep?"
Massha came to nestle close to the dragon. "I know you were there," she crooned, running a finger around Gleep's jowls. The dragon almost purred, enjoying the chin-rub. "Did you take something you shouldn't?"
The dragon shook his head. "Gleep!"
"Are you sure?"
"Gleep!" He nodded energetically.
Massha turned to me and shrugged. At that moment I spotted the corner of a parchment hidden under a pile of straw. I lunged for it. Gleep got in between me and it. I dodged to one side. He swung his long neck to intercept me.
"All right, lizard-breath, you asked for it, partner's pet or not." I grabbed him around the neck, just underneath his chin and held on. He writhed and straggled to get loose. I let go when Massha retrieved the paper. It was torn at one corner, where it had obviously been ripped away from a tack. Gleep tried to grab it back, but I stiff-armed him. He retired to the comer of his stall.
"It's the instructions," she said, scanning the page.
" 'Choose the location you wish to site your Handy Dandy Forever After Honeymoon Cottage, then push the button.' Then below is an incantation." Massha's worried eyes met mine. "We didn't chant this! What if something terrible happens because we missed out on the verbal part of the spell? It might fall down!" She hurried out of the stable. Gleep let out a honk of alarm and scooted out after her.
"Come back here!" I said, setting off in pursuit. I was not going to let that goofy dragon upset the festivities. It was bad enough one of Massha's wedding presents had misfired.
Gleep was quicker than both of us. To the alarm of the bridesmaids, Gleep blocked the doorway of the throne room and was whipping back and forth, preventing Massha from entering. Guido and Nunzio ran over, their right hands automatically reaching into their coats.
"Grab him," I said.
"Be careful," Nunzio warned. "He's still healing. What's upset him?"
"He doesn't want Massha to read the spell that came with Don Bruce's present," I said. I stopped for a moment to think. That was how the situation appeared, now that I considered it. But that was ridiculous. "He can't read. How could he know something like that?"
Nunzio came up to lay a gentle hand on Gleep's neck. "Maybe he smelled a bad scent on the parchment," he said. "Dragons have a remarkable sense of smell."
Massha held out the paper in alarm. "Do you think its booby- trapped?"
"I don't know," I said, grabbing it from her. I started to read. My eyebrows rose until I thought they'd fly off the top of my head. "I see. Good boy, Gleep!"