"Don't you at least need me to sign the checks?" he asked weakly.
"Not if you contact the bank and tell ‘em we're cleared to handle the funds," I smiled.
"While you're at it," Vie suggested, "let the contractor know we'll be making a few changes in the finishing work his crew will be doing. Say that we'll meet him here first thing in the morning to go over the changes. Of course, we'll need to see the blueprints right away."
Hysterium straightened up a little at that, glancin' quickly from one of us to the other.
"Can you at least let me in on your plans? It sounds like you have something specific in mind."
"Not really. Sugar," I winked. "We're just clearin' the decks so we can work. The marchin' orders are to turn a third-rate overnight hotel into the biggest tourist trap Deva has ever seen. Now will you get movin' so we can get started?"
It took us quite a while to go over the blueprints. You see, buildin' things had never been a big interest of mine, so it took a while to understand what all the lines and notes meant. Fortunately, Vic had studied a bit of architecture at one point when he was thinkin' of givin' up magic, so he could explain a lot of it to me...or at least enough so I could follow what he was talkin' about.
"Let's face it, Massha," he said at last, leanin' back in his chair. "No matter how long we stare at the drawings, they aren't going to change. What he's built here is a box full of rooms. The place has about as much personality as an actuary... which is to say, a little less than an accountant."
"You gotta admit, though," I observed, "the setup has a lot of space."
I could see why our client was nervous. The place was plain, but it was five floors of plain spread over a considerable hunk of land. There was a lot of extra land for expansion, which at the moment seemed unlikely. Hysterium had obviously sunk a bundle into puttin' this deal together, money he would never see again if nobody rented a room here.
"Tell me. Vic. Your home dimension is entertainment oriented enough so that the competition for crowds has to be pretty heavy. What's packin' ‘em in these days, anyway?"
The vampire frowned for a few moments as he thought over my question.
"Well, it depends on what kind of clientele you're after. You can go after the family groups or folks who have already retired. My favorite is the young professionals. They usually haven't started their families yet or are passing on them completely, which means they've got both money and time. For that set, clubs are always big. If I really wanted to pull crowds into a new place, I'd probably open a good disco."
"Now we're talkin'. Do you think you could put one together in three weeks?"
My partner shook his head and laughed.
"Hold on a second, Massha. I was just thinking out loud. Even if I could come up with a plan for a club, there's no room for it."
Now it was my turn ta laugh.
"Vic, honey, if there's one thing we've got it's room. Look here ..."
I flipped the blueprints to the drawin's of the first floor.
"... What if we knocked out the inside walls here on the ground level? That'd give us all the space we'd ever need for your disco."
"Too much space," the vampire said, studyin' the plans. "The key to one of these clubs is to keep it fairly small so people have to wait to get in. Besides, I'm afraid if we knocked out all the internal walls, there wouldn't be enough support for the rest of the structure."
An idea was startin' ta form in my head.
"So try mis. We keep the whole outer perimeter of rooms... turn ‘em into shops or somethin'. That'll give extra support and cut back on your club space. And if that's still too big..."
"About four times too big."
"Uh huh. What would you say ta a casino? I haven't seen one yet that didn't draw tourists by the droves."
Vie expressed his admiration with a low whistle.
"You don't think small, do you? I'm surprised you aren't thinking of a way to make money off the grounds as well."
"I can't make up my mind between a golf course and an amusement park." I said. "That can wait for a while until we see how the rest of this works out."
Right about then, I noticed Vic babes had his cheaters off and was studyin' me. Now, I'm used to bein' stared at, but there was somethin' kinda unsettlin' about his expression that was outside the norm, if ya know what I mean. I waited for him ta speak his mind, but after a while the silence started gettin' to me.
"What're you lookin' at me that way for. Young and Bloodthirsty? Did I grow another head sudden-like when I wasn't lookin'?"
Instead of answerin' right away, he just kept starin' until I was thinkin' a bustin' him one just ta break the suspense.
"You know, Massha," he said finally, "for-a-so-called apprentice, you're pretty savvy. With the way you dress and talk it's easy to overlook, but there's quite a mind lurking behind all that mascara, isn't there?"
Now if there's one thing I have trouble handlin' it's praise... maybe ‘cause I don't hear that much of it. To keep my embarrassment from bein' too noticeable, I did what I always do and ducked behind a laugh.
"Don't let the wrappin' fool ya. Fangs. Remember, I used ta be an independent before I signed on with Skeeve's gang. Magician for the city-state of Ta-hoe and then Veygus over on Jahk, that was me."
"Really? I didn't know that."
Just goes to show how rattled I was. I couldn't even remember how little Vic knew about our operation and the people in it.
"That was when I first ran into the Boy Wonder. He was in trouble then, too ... in fact, Skeeve seems to have a knack for trouble. Remind me sometime to tell you about the spot he was in when I did loom up."
"Why not now?" he said, leanin' back in his chair. "I'm not going anywhere, and there's no time like the present for learning more about one's business associates."
As you've probably noticed, I was eager to get off the spot, and talking' about Skeeve seemed to be just the ticket I was lookin' for.
"Well, at the time his big green mentor had taken off for Perv, see ... some kinda family problem. Anyway, the king puts me touch on Skeeve to stand in for him, supposedly so's his royalness could take a bit of a vacation... say, for a day or so. What the Man neglected to mention to our colleague was that his bride-to-be, a certain Queen Hemlock, was due ta show up expectin' ta tie the knot with whoever was warmin' the throne just then."
"Queen Hemlock?"
"Let me tell you, she was a real sweetheart. Probably would have ended up on the gallows at an early age if she hadn't been the daughter of a king. As it was, she ended up runnin' the richest kingdom in that dimension and was out to merge with me best military force around... which turned out to be the kingdom that Skeeve was babysittin'."
Vic frowned.
"If she was already in a position to buy anything she wanted; what did she need an army for?"
"For those doodads that weren't for sale. You see, we all have our little dreams. Hers was to rule the world. That was Queen Hemlock for you. The morals of a mink in heat and the humble aspirations of Genghis Khan."
"And the two of you stopped her?"
"To be truthful with you, Skeeve did. All I did was round up the king so we could put him back on the throne where he was supposed to be. Skeeve set ‘em up with a pair of wedding rings that never come off which also link their lives. That meant if Queenie wanted to off Kingie and clear the path for a little world-conquering, she'd be slitting her own throat at the same time."
"Where'd he find those? I never heard of such a thing."
I gave him a chuckle and a wink.
"Neither has anyone else. What they got was some junk jewelry from a street vendor here at the Bazaar along with a fancy story concocted by one Skeeve the Great. What I'm sayin' is that he sold ‘em a line of hooey, but it was enough to cool Hemlock's jets. Smooth move, wasn't it?"