That may well be, if one is a skilled numbers cruncher. All I discovered was that prolonged periods of time spent staring at rows of little numbers are a pain... literally and figuratively. Specifically, after a few hours hunched over the reports, I was feeling cramps and stabbing pain in my eyes, my neck, my back, and regions lower.
Leaning back to ease the strain and stretching a bit, my eye fell on the pencil I had tossed down on my desk from disgust and frustration. With a smirk, I reached out with my mind, grabbed it, and flipped it into the air. What do magicians do when they get bored or depressed? Tinker around with magik, natch!
Remember once upon a time when I used to sweat and groan to levitate a feather? Well, those days are long gone. Nothing like a few years of using the basics like levitation to save your skin to increase one's confidence... and, as Aahz always told me, confidence is the key to magik.
I took the pencil up to the ceiling, paused, then took it on a tour of the room, stopping cold at each corner to give it a right-angle turn. I realized I was humming a little tune under my breath as I put it through its paces, so I brought it down over the desk and started using it like a conductor's baton, cueing the drums and the horns as the tune built.
"Nice to see you're keeping your hand in."
I glanced over at the door, and discovered my old mentor leaning against the frame watching me work.
"Hi, Aahz," I said, keeping the pencil moving smoothly. "Well, things have been so busy I haven't had much time to practice, but I do still turn a spell now and then."
As offhand as I sounded, I was secretly very pleased that the pencil hadn't wavered when Aahz surprised me. Not breaking concentration on a spell, or, rather, maintaining a spell once concentration was broken, had been one of the harder lessons Aahz had taught me, and I thought I finally had it down pat. I only hoped he noticed.
"Got a few minutes for your old partner?"
"Sure, pull up a chair."
I decided it would be rude to keep playing with the pencil while I was talking to Aahz, so I brought it down to where I could pluck it smoothly from the air as I leaned forward. Aahz didn't seem to notice, though. He was craning his neck slightly to look at the papers scattered across my desk.
"What's all this?"
"Oh, just going over the financials from The Fun House. I still don't trust the Geek completely."
Aahz settled back in his chair and cocked his head at me.
"The Fun House, eh? Haven't really had a chance to talk with you much about that one. That was quite a coup you pulled off there."
I felt warmed and flattered by his comment. While we were technically equals... had been for some time... he was still my old teacher, and I couldn't help but react to praise from him.
"It seemed like the best route out of a bad situation," I said offhandedly.
"That's right," he nodded. "It's always easier to solve a problem by throwing money at it than by thinking your way out."
Suddenly this no longer sounded particularly complimentary. I felt my pride turning to defensiveness with the speed of a snuffed candle.
"I believe the financial returns to the company have more than justified the wisdom of the investment."
It sounded a little stuffy, even to me. I had noticed that more and more these days I was retreating into stuffiness for defense in situations where I used to whine about my inexperience or lack of working data.
"Well, I've never been one to complain about clearing a profit," Aahz said, flashing one of his ear-to-ear displays of teeth. "Even when it means acquiring a casino we neither want nor need."
This was definitely sounding like a lecture shaping up instead of a testimonial as to what a fine job I had been doing. While I could make time for a chat and would always take time for "atta boys," I was in no mood to have my shortcomings expounded upon.
"What's done is done, and hindsight is academic," I said briskly, cutting short the casino conversation. "What was it you wanted to see me about?"
I almost started fidgeting with the paper on my desk to press the point home that I was busy, but remembered in time that they were the casino financial reports... definitely not the way to draw conversation away from that particular subject.
"Oh, nothing much," Aahz shrugged. "I was just heading out on a little assignment and thought you might want to tag along."
"An assignment? I haven't given you an assignment."
I regretted the words as soon as I said them. Not only did they sound bureaucratic, they underscored the fact that I hadn't been finding any work for Aahz, despite our heavy work load.
My old mentor never batted an eye at the faux pas.
"It's not really an assignment. More a busman's holiday. I was going to do a little work on my own time. A favor for a friend who can't afford our normal fees."
I should have been suspicious right then. If I'm at all money-grubbing, it rubbed off from Aahz during our association. Anytime Aahz starts talking about giving something away that we could sell, like our time, I should know there's something afoot.
"Gee, Aahz, I don't think I could take the time. I've been really busy."
"... Levitating pencils and checking for embezzlement of funds that are all gravy anyway?"
His attempt at an innocent smile was short enough of the mark to be a deliberate botch.
"C'mon, Aahz. That's not fair. I have been working hard. I just need a break once in a while. That's all."
"My point precisely," my partner said, springing his trap. "It's about time you got out of this office and out in the field before you become a permanent part of that chair. You don't want to get too far out of touch with the troops, you know, and this little chore is just the thing to remind you what it's like to be on assignment."
I could feel myself being outflanked the longer he talked. In desperation, I held up a hand.
"All right, all right. Tell me about it. Who is this friend of yours?"
"Actually, he's more of an acquaintance. You know him too. Remember Quigley?"
" Quigley? Demon hunter turned magician? That Quigley?"
Aahz nodded vigorously.
"That's the one. It seems he's got a problem he's not up to handling himself... which isn't surprising, somehow. I thought you might be interested in lending a hand, since we were the ones who set him up for it."
Check and mate.
"Okay, Aahz," I said, looking mournfully at the unfinished work on my desk. "Just let me clear a few things with Bunny, and I'll be right with you."
JAHK HADN'T CHANGED MUCH from our last visit, but then these off-the-beaten-track dimensions seldom do. We were traveling in disguise, which we Pervects have gotten into the habit of doing when visiting a dimension we've been to before, and the Kid picked up the trick from me. You see, contrary to popular belief, Pervects don't like to fight all the time, and the second time through a dimension we usually end up in a fight with anyone who recognizes us and figures they're better prepared than the first meeting. This only confirms the belief we hold on Perv that the rest of the dimensions are antisocial and we'd best swing first to get the surprise advantage, not to mention doing our best to discourage off-dimension visitors whenever possible. Our dimension is unpleasant enough without having strange riffraff drifting through stirring up trouble.