-SMAUG
I NEVER REALLY REALIZED how easy it was to buy something until I tried my hand at selling. I'm not talking about small, casual purchases here. I'm talking about something of size... like, say, a casino/hotel. Of course buying it had been simplified by the fact that the developer... what was his name? No matter... was desperate. Trying to offload it, however, was an entirely different matter.
Leaning back in my chair, I stared at the sea of paper on my desk, trying to mentally sort out the various offers, only to discover they were starting to run together in my head. I've noticed that happening more and more after midnight. With a muttered curse, I cast about for my notes.
"Working late, Skeeve?"
"What?" I said, glancing up. "Oh. Hi, Bunny. What are you doing here at this hour?"
"I could say I was worried about you, which I am, but truthfully I didn't even know you were still here till I saw the light on and poked my head in to check. No, I was just fetching a few things I had stored in my desk. Now, I can return the same question: what are you doing here?"
I stretched a bit as I answered, grateful for the break.
"Just trying to organize my thoughts on selling The Fun House. I'm going to have to make my recommendations to the Board as to which of these offers to accept when we discuss it at our monthly meeting."
She came around the desk and stood behind me, massaging the knots out of my shoulders. It felt wonderful.
"I don't see why you have to make a presentation to the Board at all," she said. "Why don't you just go ahead and make the decision unilaterally? You made the decision to sell without clearing it with anyone else."
Something in what she said had a ominous ring to it, but I was enjoying the backrub too much to pin it down just then.
"I made the decision unilaterally to open our door to offers ... not to sell. The actual final call as to whether or not to sell, and, which, if any, of the offers to accept, is up to the Board."
"Then if it's up to them, why are you killing yourself getting ready to make a pitch?"
I knew where she was coming from then. It was the old "you're working too hard" bit. It seemed like I was hearing that from everybody these days, or often enough that I could sing it from memory.
"Because I really want this motion to carry," I said, pulling away from her. "If there's going to be any opposition, I want to be sure I have my reasons and arguments down pat."
Bunny wandered back around the desk, hesitated, then plopped down into a chair.
"All right, then rehearse. Tell me why you want to sell, if you don't mind giving a preview."
I rose and began to pace, rubbing my lower lip as I organized my thoughts.
"Officially, I think it's necessary for two reasons. First, pretty soon now the novelty of the place is going to wear off, and when it does the crowds ....nd therefore our revenues... will decline. That will make it harder to sell than right now, when it's a hot spot. Second, the place is so successful it's going to generate imitators. From what I've been hearing at my ‘businessman's lunches,' there are already several plans underway to construct or convert several of the nearby hotels into casinos. Again, it will dilute the market and lower our price if we wait too long."
Bunny listened attentively. When I was done, she nodded her head.
"... And unofficially?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You said, ‘Officially, etc., etc.' That implies there are reasons you haven't mentioned."
That's when I realized how tired I was getting. A verbal slip like that could be costly in the wrong company. Still, Bunny was my confidential secretary. If I couldn't confide in her, I was in trouble.
"Unofficially, I'm doing it for Aahz."
"Aahz?"
"That's right. Remember him? My old partner? Well, when we were taking care of that little favor for Quigley, he kept needling me about The Fun House. There was a fairly constant stream of digs about ‘throwing money at a problem' and bow ‘we never planned to run a casino'... stuff like that. I don't know why, but it's clear to me that the casino is a burr under his saddle, and if it will make him happy, I've got no problems dumping it. It just doesn't mean that much to me."
Bunny arched an eyebrow.
"So you're selling off the casino because you think it will make your old partner happy?"
"It's the best reason I can think of," I shrugged. "Bunny, he's been a combination father, teacher, coach, and Dutch uncle to me since Garkin was killed. I've lost track of the number of times he's saved my skin, usually by putting his own between me and whatever was incoming. With all I owe him, disposing of something that's bothering him seems a pretty small payback, but one I'll deliver without batting an eye."
"You might try to give him an assignment or two," she said, pursing her lips. "Maybe if he were a bit busier, he wouldn't have the time to brood and fault-find over the stuff you're doing without him."
I waited a heartbeat too long before laughing.
"Aahz is above petty jealousy, really," I said, wishing I was more sure of it myself. "Besides, I am trying to find an assignment for him. It's just that Perverts... excuse me, Pervects... aren't noted for their diplomacy in dealing with clients."
Not wishing to pursue the subject further, I gathered up a handful of proposals.
"Right now, I've got to go through these proposals a couple more times until I've got them straight in my mind."
"What's the problem? Just pick the best one and go with it."
I grimaced bitterly.
"It's not that easy. With some of these proposals, it's like comparing apples and oranges. One offers an ongoing percentage of profits... another is quoting a high purchase price, but wants to pay in installments... there are a handful that are offering stock in other businesses in addition to cash... it's just not that easy to decide which is actually the best offer."
"Maybe I can help," Bunny said, reaching for the stack of proposals. "I've had a fair amount of experience assessing offers."
I put my hand on the stack, intercepting her.
"Thanks for the offer. Bunny, but I'd rather do it myself. If I'm going to be president, I've got to learn to quit relying on others. The only way I'll learn to be self-reliant is to not indulge in depending on my staff."
She slowly withdrew her hand, her eyes searching mine as if she weren't sure she recognized me. I realized she was upset, but, reviewing what I had said, couldn't find anything wrong with my position. Too tired to sort it out just then, I decided to change the subject.
"While you're here, though, could you give me a quick briefing of what's on the dockets for tomorrow? I'd like to clear the decks to work on this stuff if l can."
Whatever was bothering her vanished as she became the efficient secretary again.
"The only thing that's pressing is assigning a team to a watchdog job. The client has a valuable shipment we're supposed to be guarding tomorrow night."
"Guard duty?" I frowned. "Isn't that a little low-class for our operation?"
"I thought so," she smiled sweetly, "but apparently you didn't when you committed us to it two weeks ago. A favor to one of your lunch buddies. Remember?"
"Oh. Right. Well, I think we can cover that one with Gleep. Send him over... and have Nunzio go along to keep an eye on him."
"All right."
She started to leave, but hesitated in the door.
"What about Aahz?"
I had already started to plunge into the proposals again and had to wrench my attention back to the conversation.
"What about him?"
"Nothing. Forget I asked."
There was no doubt about it. The staff was definitely starting to get a bit strange. Shaking my head, I addressed the proposals once more.