Hysterium let go of the hand he had been pumpin' like it had bitten him.
"A vampire?!"
Vic smiled at him again, this time lettin' his outsized canines show.
"That's right. Why? Have you got something against vampires?"
The client started edgin' away across the office.
"No! It's just that I never... No. It's fine by me. Really."
"Well, now that that's settled," I said, takin' command of the situation again, "let's get down to business. If I understand it right, you've got a white elephant on your hands here and we're supposed to turn it into a gold mine by the first of the month."
Hysterium was gingerly seatin' himself behind his desk again.
"I... Yes. I guess you could summarize the situation that way. We're scheduled to be ready to open in three weeks."
"... And what kind of budget have we got to pull this miracle off with?" Vic said, abandoning his "looming vampire" bit to lean casually against the wall.
"Budget?"
"You know. Big Plunger. As in ‘money'?" I urged. "We know what our fees are. How much are you willin' to sink into decorations and advertisin' to launch this place properly?"
"Oh, that. I think I've got the figures here someplace. Of course, I'll be working with you on this."
He started rummagin' through the papers on his desk.
"Wrong again. High Roller," I said firmly. "You're going to turn everything over to us and take a three-week vacation."
The Deveel's rummagin' became a nervous fidget. I was startin' ta see how he got his name.
"But... I thought I'd be overseeing things. It is my project, after all."
"You thought wrong. Mister," Vie said. "For the next three weeks it's our project."
"Don't you want my input and ideas?"
Fortunately, Vic and I had talked this out on the way over, so I knew just what to say.
"Let me put it to you this way, Hysterium," I said. "If you had any ideas you thought would work, you'd be tryin' them yourself instead of hirin' us. Now, three weeks isn't a heck of a lot of time, and we can't waste any of it arguin' with you over every little point. The only way to be sure you don't yield to the temptation of kibitzin' and stay out from underfoot is for you not ta be here. Understand? Now make up your mind. Either you let us do the job without interference, or you do it yourself and we call it quits right now."
The Deveel deflated slightly. It's always a pleasure doin' business with desperate people.
"Don't you at least need me to sign the checks?" he asked weakly.
"Not if you contact the bank and tell ‘em we're cleared to handle the funds," I smiled.
"While you're at it," Vie suggested, "let the contractor know we'll be making a few changes in the finishing work his crew will be doing. Say that we'll meet him here first thing in the morning to go over the changes. Of course, we'll need to see the blueprints right away."
Hysterium straightened up a little at that, glancin' quickly from one of us to the other.
"Can you at least let me in on your plans? It sounds like you have something specific in mind."
"Not really. Sugar," I winked. "We're just clearin' the decks so we can work. The marchin' orders are to turn a third-rate overnight hotel into the biggest tourist trap Deva has ever seen. Now will you get movin' so we can get started?"
It took us quite a while to go over the blueprints. You see, buildin' things had never been a big interest of mine, so it took a while to understand what all the lines and notes meant. Fortunately, Vic had studied a bit of architecture at one point when he was thinkin' of givin' up magic, so he could explain a lot of it to me...or at least enough so I could follow what he was talkin' about.
"Let's face it, Massha," he said at last, leanin' back in his chair. "No matter how long we stare at the drawings, they aren't going to change. What he's built here is a box full of rooms. The place has about as much personality as an actuary... which is to say, a little less than an accountant."
"You gotta admit, though," I observed, "the setup has a lot of space."
I could see why our client was nervous. The place was plain, but it was five floors of plain spread over a considerable hunk of land. There was a lot of extra land for expansion, which at the moment seemed unlikely. Hysterium had obviously sunk a bundle into puttin' this deal together, money he would never see again if nobody rented a room here.
"Tell me. Vic. Your home dimension is entertainment oriented enough so that the competition for crowds has to be pretty heavy. What's packin' ‘em in these days, anyway?"
The vampire frowned for a few moments as he thought over my question.
"Well, it depends on what kind of clientele you're after. You can go after the family groups or folks who have already retired. My favorite is the young professionals. They usually haven't started their families yet or are passing on them completely, which means they've got both money and time. For that set, clubs are always big. If I really wanted to pull crowds into a new place, I'd probably open a good disco."
"Now we're talkin'. Do you think you could put one together in three weeks?"
My partner shook his head and laughed.
"Hold on a second, Massha. I was just thinking out loud. Even if I could come up with a plan for a club, there's no room for it."
Now it was my turn ta laugh.
"Vic, honey, if there's one thing we've got it's room. Look here ..."
I flipped the blueprints to the drawin's of the first floor.
"... What if we knocked out the inside walls here on the ground level? That'd give us all the space we'd ever need for your disco."
"Too much space," the vampire said, studyin' the plans. "The key to one of these clubs is to keep it fairly small so people have to wait to get in. Besides, I'm afraid if we knocked out all the internal walls, there wouldn't be enough support for the rest of the structure."
An idea was startin' ta form in my head.
"So try mis. We keep the whole outer perimeter of rooms... turn ‘em into shops or somethin'. That'll give extra support and cut back on your club space. And if that's still too big..."
"About four times too big."
"Uh huh. What would you say ta a casino? I haven't seen one yet that didn't draw tourists by the droves."
Vie expressed his admiration with a low whistle.
"You don't think small, do you? I'm surprised you aren't thinking of a way to make money off the grounds as well."
"I can't make up my mind between a golf course and an amusement park." I said. "That can wait for a while until we see how the rest of this works out."
Right about then, I noticed Vic babes had his cheaters off and was studyin' me. Now, I'm used to bein' stared at, but there was somethin' kinda unsettlin' about his expression that was outside the norm, if ya know what I mean. I waited for him ta speak his mind, but after a while the silence started gettin' to me.
"What're you lookin' at me that way for. Young and Bloodthirsty? Did I grow another head sudden-like when I wasn't lookin'?"
Instead of answerin' right away, he just kept starin' until I was thinkin' a bustin' him one just ta break the suspense.
"You know, Massha," he said finally, "for-a-so-called apprentice, you're pretty savvy. With the way you dress and talk it's easy to overlook, but there's quite a mind lurking behind all that mascara, isn't there?"
Now if there's one thing I have trouble handlin' it's praise... maybe ‘cause I don't hear that much of it. To keep my embarrassment from bein' too noticeable, I did what I always do and ducked behind a laugh.