Exactly how I was to make the necessary adjustments would be a problem. Whenever possible, I tried to allow my pet free will. That is, I liked to give him the illusion of choosing his own course and associates without interference from me. Occasionally I would stray from this stance, such as when they brought that horrible Markie creature into our home, but for the most part it was an unshakeable policy. This meant that if I indeed decided that it was time to winnow out or remove any or all of Skeeve's current associates for his own good, it would have to be done in a manner which could not be traced to me. This would not only preserve the illusion that I was not interfering in his life, but also save him the angst which would be generated if he realized I was responsible for the elimination of one or more of his friends. Yes, this would require considerable thought and consideration.
"Here, fella. Want a treat?"
This last was uttered by a sleazy-looking Deveel as he held out a hand with a lump of some unidentifiable substance in it.
I realized with a guilty start that I had overindulged, sinking too far into my thoughts to maintain awareness of my surroundings. After the unkind thoughts I had entertained about Nunzio's attention span, this was an inexcusable lapse on my part. Ignoring the offered gift, I raised my head and cast about desperately to reassess the situation.
There were three of them: the one currently addressing me, and two others who were talking to Nunzio.
"I dunno," the latter was saying. "I didn't get any instructions about anyone pickin' up the shipment early."
Something was definitely amiss. From his words and manner, even Nunzio was suspicious... which meant the plot had to be pretty transparent.
"C'mon boy. Take the treat."
The Deveel facing me was starting to sound a little desperate, but I continued ignoring him and his offering. It was drugged, of course. Just because humans can't smell a wide range of chemicals, they assume that no one else can either. This one was no problem. I was more concerned as to whether or not Nunzio would require assistance.
"I can't help it if your paperwork is fouled up," the smaller Deveel with Nunzio snarled, with a good imitation of impatience. "I've got a schedule to keep. Look. Here's a copy of my authorization."
As Nunzio bent to look at the paper the Deveel was holding, the one standing behind him produced a club and swung it at his head. There was a sharp "CRACK" ... but it was from the club breaking, not from Nunzio's head, that latter being, as I have noted, exceptionally dense.
"I'm sorry, I can't let you have the shipment," Nunzio said, handing the paper back to the short Deveel who took it without losing the astounded expression from his face. "This authorization is nothin' but a blank piece of paper."
He glanced over his shoulder at the larger Deveel who was standing there staring at his broken club.
"Be with you in a second, fella. Just as soon as we get this authorization thing cleared up."
I decided that he would be able to handle things in his own peculiar way and turned my attention to the Deveel with the drugged treat.
He was looking at the conversation across the room, his mouth hanging open in amazement. I noticed, however, that he had neglected to withdraw his hand.
There are those who hypothesize that dragons do not have a sense of humor. To prove that that is not the case, I offer this as a counterexample.
Unhinging my jaw slightly, I stretched out my neck and took the treat in my mouth. Actually, I took his hand in my mouth ... all the way to the shoulder. This was not as hazardous as it sounds. I simply took care not to swallow and therefore avoided any dangerous effects which might be generated by the drugged treat.
The Deveel glanced back when he heard my jaws crash together, and we looked into each others' eyes from a considerably closer range than he had anticipated. For effect, I waggled my eyebrows at him. The eyebrows did it, and his eyes rolled up into his head as he slumped to the floor in a dead faint.
Funny, huh? So much for not having a sense of humor.
Relaxing my jaws, I withdrew my head leaving the treat and his arm intact, and checked Nunzio's situation again.
The larger Deveel was stretched out on the floor unconscious while Nunzio was holding the other by the lapels with one hand, leisurely slapping him forehand and backhand as he spoke.
"I oughtta turn you'se over to da authorities! A clumsy hijack like this could give our profession a bad name. Know what I mean? Are you listenin' ta me? Now take your buddies and get outta here before I change my mind! And don't come back until you find some decent help!"
I had to admit that Nunzio had a certain degree of style... for a human. If he had been fortunate enough to be born with a brain, he might have been a dragon.
While he was busy throwing the latest batch of attackers out the door, I decided to do a little investigating. After three attempts to relieve us of our prize, though Nunzio was only aware of one of them, I was beginning to grow a bit suspicious. Even for as crime-prone a lot as humans tend to be, three attempts in that close succession was unusual, and I wanted to know more about what it was we were guarding.
The cases still smelled of paper and ink, but that seemed an inadequate reason for the attention they had been drawing. As casually as I could, I swatted one of the cases with my tail, caving it in. Apparently I had not been casual enough, for the sound brought Nunzio sprinting to my side.
"Now what are you doin'? Look! You ruined... Hey! Wait a minute!"
He stooped and picked up one of the objects that had spilled from the case and examined it closely. I snaked my head around so I could look over his shoulder.
"Do you know what dis is, Gleep?"
As a matter of fact, I didn't. From what I could see, all it was some kind of picture book... and a shoddily made one at that. What it didn't look like was anything valuable. Certainly nothing that would warrant the kind of attention we had been getting.
Nunzio tossed the book back onto the floor and glanced around nervously.
"This is over my head," he murmured. "I can't... Gleep, you keep an eye on this stuff. I'll be right back.
I've gotta get the Boss... and Guido! Yea. He knows about this stuff."
Admittedly perplexed, I watched him go, then studied the book again.
Very strange. There was clearly something in this situation that was escaping my scrutiny.
I rubbed my nose a few times in a vain effort to clear it of the smell of ink, then hunkered down to await my pet's arrival.
"Comic books?"
Skeeve was clearly as perplexed as I had been.
"The ‘valuable shipment' we're guarding is comic books?"
"That's what I thought, Boss," Nunzio said. "Screwy, huh? What do you think, Guido?"
Guido was busy prying open another case. He scanned the books on top, then dug a few out from the bottom to confirm they were the same. Studying two of them intently, he gave out with a low whistle.
"You know what these are worth. Boss?"
Skeeve shrugged.
"I don't know how many of them are here, but I've seen them on sale around the Bazaar at three or four for a silver, so they can't be worth much."
"Excuse me for interruptin'," Guido said, "but I am not referrin' to yer everyday, run-of-the-mill comic. I am lookin' at these, which are a horse from a different stable."
"They are?" my pet frowned. "I mean ... it is? I mean... these all look the same to me. What makes them special?"