All through the conversation I kept looking down to his crotch to see if it was really there. Sure enough, it was very evident, a long thick bulge that showed along the leg of his pants.
I suddenly felt the desire to fellate him. I wanted to do to him what I had become so good at, what I did to Billy every few days. But I didn't know how to suggest it, or even to allude to it.
To my surprise, the subject of our talk suddenly turned to sex and I had my opening. He asked me something about living on a farm, away from so many people, how does a young girl gain sexual release or find boyfriends? I told him I had a few boyfriends, but I didn't play around much like some of the girls. I only did a few things.
"What do you mean, a few things?"
I didn't know what to say. "Well, you know, not actually giving up my virginity… Other things." I didn't know what I was talking about any longer.
"So you're a virgin?" he asked, amused.
I just nodded. "But I've had relations with boys. Two of them, as a matter of fact." I wanted to sound so mature, so grown, so attractive.
"You know something, I like you. I really do. I like girls your age, they're so sweet and honest. Older women really seem dull in comparison." He stared at me with his huge blue eyes. I melted.
"I like you too, really, I do," I said, perhaps a little too strongly.
Gene reached over and touched my hand with his. I trembled as my skin became prickly under my yellow dress. This was it, I told myself, I had to let go or tell him to leave. I let go.
Shaking with fear, I stood up and moved close to him. He put his arms up and I sat on his knee and immediately my face met his in a long kiss. He moved my lips open with his hard tongue and pressed it into my mouth. No one had ever done that to me in my life, not even Billy or Tom, so it was a totally new thrill, one that I liked a lot. Then I did the same to him, pushing my tongue into his warm mouth as far as I could. His arms grasped me tightly.
I could feel his hard organ under my thigh pressing up against my flesh. He held me tight as he moved his body a bit to rub it even harder against me. I broke from his lips and jumped up, brushing my hair back from my eyes. He thought I was going to tell him to leave – I could see it in his eyes. But I didn't do that, I wasn't even thinking of anything like that. I wanted to do to him what I would do to Billy if we had just hugged and gotten excited.
I fell to my knees and started to open his zipper. He didn't let me. He did it himself, like a madman, quickly pulling the zipper down, unbuckling his pants, opening them. He slid his undershorts down to his thighs and his huge penis popped out in front of my face.
It was bigger than Billy's, so big I wondered if I could get it in my mouth. I tried immediately, smashing my head to the stiff organ, taking the purplish head in my wet lips and sliding down until the tip rested in my throat.
Gene went wild. He began saying over and over, "I don't believe it, I don't believe it!" I worked as hard and as well as I could, taking his long thick cock in fast plunges, running my tongue around the tip every time it came to my lips. I wanted to play with his balls, but his pants were tight around his thighs and covered them.
I worked expertly, driving him to near frenzy. Perhaps I shouldn't have been so good, or so attractive, or whatever it was that drove him to the point he reached. He was like an animal, fucking my mouth now rather than allowing my lips to control the act of fellatio. He began shouting and his arms banged against the arms of the chair.
All of a sudden, he jumped up. His cock ripped from my lips and bounced above me as he pulled his pants down to his knees. His balls hung low between his legs and I immediately lifted my head to take them in my lips, but he pulled away and would not let me.
He fell to the floor of the porch next to me and started kissing me again, moving his hands to my breasts. His wet penis rubbed against my leg as he rubbed my firm breasts. He tried to get to them from the neck of my dress, but couldn't. Then, instead of opening the buttons at the back, he just ripped my dress from the neck down the front. I screamed. One of the prettiest pieces of clothing I owned had just been ruined.
I knew then something terrible was going to happen. I held my breath in fear for the first time in my life. I prayed for Billy to come home, but no one came.
After he ripped my dress, he thrust his hand in under my bra and took hold of my breast. He squeezed it and moaned in my ear as I remained silent, too scared to protest, too confused to fight him.
He moved his other hand up under my skirt to my burning pussy. I had been excited all day and my panties were terribly wet now the way they always got when I performed fellatio. His fingers drew them down my body, over my buttocks, and off over my feet. He spread my legs with both hands, releasing his pressure on my breast, and then began to rub his hand along the sensitive lips of my pussy.
I think it was at that moment that I realized what he was going to do to me. He was going to fuck me and I didn't want him to. It was all wrong – it was supposed to have been in a bed with someone I really loved and cared about and it was to have been done only after a long "going steady" period and a lot of touching and feeling and kissing. But there we were, on the porch at night, a total stranger and a young girl.
"Maggie! Oh, Maggie! I'm going to fuck you for the first time in your life! I'm going to fuck you, you little bitch!" He wasn't screaming, but rather talking low and intense, as if some supernatural force had possessed him. Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry as he positioned his large body over my helpless one. I didn't want it to happen, I wouldn't let it happen. I brought a knee up and smashed it in his stomach.
He doubled up and rolled next to me, swearing, as I sat up and tried to get away. He was much faster than I, and he grabbed me and knocked me to the floor. I don't know exactly what happened after that. I remember struggling, trying to push him off me, trying to scratch his face. But he pinned me to the floor and held me there with his powerful hands.
I looked up to him and realized that the face I had thought was so attractive now had turned to some kind of raving animal. He reminded me of a dog I had seen when I was little – a dog with rabies who had to be shot. I wanted to shoot the man above me, the animal above me, and I heard Corky's barking as I felt the huge penis pressing its head against the inside of my thighs.
I must have screamed, but I can't remember. I only know that suddenly there was a pain in my body, through my entire body. There may have also been a jolt of pleasure, but I don't remember it. It was the ugliest moment of my life, the most painful and disgraceful one. I passed out cold, I think not so much from the horrible pain but from the desire to withdraw from the situation, to block it out of my consciousness.
My parents found me on the porch. I was bruised and in a state of shock, and they carried me into the house and called the country doctor. I remember waking up and hearing someone saying something about semen being on my yellow dress and how it was ruined. Then my mother sat on the bed near me and pressed a cold compress to my forehead. I asked for Billy.
I wanted to see Billy, for he was the only person in the world who could comfort me, the only person who would understand. I slept and wakened alternately while policemen talked to my parents and the doctor kept taking my pulse. Finally, after what seemed like days but was actually only hours, Billy walked into the room.
I opened my eyes and looked up.
"Little sister, it's okay," he said gently, sitting down next to me. We were alone in the room. I started to cry.