"I'll miss you too. You're… well, you're special to me," I said honestly.
"Really? Am I?"
"Yes, you are."
We stopped dead, looking into each other's eyes. I think we stood there for five minutes, just looking at each other. It was the first time we connected, the first time we really let our feelings show. Greg pulled me into his arms.
"Can I kiss you, Maggie?"
"Yes," I whispered, thinking I could feel his cock in his pants pressing against me.
He kissed me and chills ran up and down my spine. My crush turned to love at that moment. I wanted to be in no one's arms but his and I wanted his penis in my mouth, but I controlled myself and made no sexual advance whatsoever. Neither did he.
"Maggie," he said, still holding me tight, "I graduate in January. I've really been thinking of going on to graduate school at the University of New Mexico."
My eyes lit up. I couldn't believe that in January we would be together, in another town, far away from Two Forks. Suddenly the prospect of being away on my own wasn't so frightening. Here was the security I needed, as well as the emotional and physical attraction. He told me he liked me very much and that he would really be looking forward to getting to know me without the pressures of family, school, the farm – everything that was surrounding us.
I told him I liked him very much also and that I would be counting the days till we could be together in Albuquerque. We kissed again, hard and for a long time, just before we entered the house. Billy looked at my eyes when we entered. I think he knew.
The summer went quickly, I dated several boys but couldn't find anyone to take my mind off Greg. We wrote to each other every few days, and saw each other every few weeks. He was in summer session with Billy and they were both very busy. I did nothing all summer except help on the farm, prepare for college and fellate the best-looking boys in the county.
I really was having a great time. Often three or four guys I knew would come over and we'd say we were having a "picnic" in the woods and that way Mother and Dad wouldn't question what we were doing. I'm surprised that they never asked why I was the only girl in a group of boys, but I guess they didn't notice.
I remember one afternoon I went for a walk with three of the guys I knew from school. We got to the woods and played a game of strip poker, which wasted a lot of time but was always a way to get into it without feeling ashamed or embarrassed, and then when we got down to our underwear things got pretty wild.
One kid had an enormous penis and I sucked him first while the other two ran their hands all over my naked body. One of them licked at my pussy as I sucked crazily on the big boy's huge cock. When he came he pulled his cock to my lips and let it dribble down my chin and over my cheeks so the other guys could watch.
Then I fell to the ground and the guy who had just come began to suck hard at my pussy, driving his long tongue way up me. The other two guys took turns sticking their cocks into my mouth, masturbating them as they pulled away, just over my face. I grabbed their balls with both of my hands and let a finger or two slide over their anal openings. Finally, just before they were about to come, I tried putting my fingers up their asses, but their buttocks were not spread enough and there was nothing to lubricate my fingers with. I had been excited about finger-fucking ever since I saw Billy slide his finger up his ass in the barn. I liked to watch it done and enjoyed doing it myself as well.
Both boys came, almost at the same time. Again, with both of them trying to get their cocks in my mouth in a kneeling position, the cum dribbled down my cheeks, over my ears, into my hair. I loved every moment of it and between my legs the big boy was tasting the bittersweet fluids of my feminine lust.
After that, we varied our positions, but all our action was oral. No one tried fucking me, because they knew it was something I couldn't put up with. Pleasure with my mouth was the only kind of sexual gratification I could give, and having someone play with or suck my pussy at the same time – or even my own hands playing with myself – was the best kind of gratification I could receive.
By the end of summer I had performed fellatio on guys ranging from the age of fourteen to twenty-seven, in cars, barns, fields, forests, behind the schoolhouse, in my father's pickup truck and even in the middle of Laker's Pond, a nearby swimming hole.
I left for New Mexico a very experienced girl.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The transition from small farm town to big city was not as difficult as I had expected, and I certainly was adjusted to college life within a few months. I was bored with school by that time, however, and I think I just stayed with it because Greg was going to join me so soon and for no other reason.
And join me he did. At the end of January. I had seen him at Christmas, back home, and it was as beautiful a time as the year before. Billy didn't spend much time at home with us because he was dating a girl who lived in Milwaukee and he was with her often. But Greg and I had a great time together, and we went from the point of kissing to some foreplay, but never anything with our clothing off. By the time he arrived in Albuquerque I was climbing the walls out of frustration. Oh yes, I was sucking off every guy on campus, but Greg was the only person I really desired, the only person who could fulfill the need in me to be loved and protected.
The incident of the yellow dress on the porch floor crossed my mind many times, especially when a guy would start playing around in such a way that I knew he wanted to fuck me. None of them ever succeeded, but I had to put up some fights.
It occurred to me also that perhaps Greg would want to fuck me. Of course Greg would want to fuck me! I suddenly feared having to tell him that I couldn't do that. I wondered if he knew about the rape? Had Billy told him? Could I bring myself to tell him? I would have to. I could never, even for Greg, have submitted to intercourse.
Greg arrived and confused me terribly. At first he was aggressive – we began petting where we had left off and forward, but then gradually, in a few weeks time, it began to wear off. We dated, we told each other we loved each other, we spent a great deal of time together, and yet there seemed to be no sexual interest on his part. I didn't want to be his sister – I had been much more satisfied by being Billy's sister – but rather his lover and, hopefully, his wife someday.
About three months passed and I was a nervous wreck. My grades began slipping as my frustration grew to such a point it needed to find release somewhere. I took to sucking cocks – any cocks that may have been nearby – and I did everything I could to conceal it from Greg.
We saw each other often, remained close, very much in love, but we didn't touch each other. At that time I thought perhaps he could live without sex, but I couldn't. I stood around the Union Building one night waiting for Greg to pick me up when I met a good-looking guy who asked me for a date. I told him I would suck his cock if he wanted when I got home from my date. He blinked and was speechless. After my date with Greg, I met the guy and gave him a blow job in the deserted snack bar in the Union Building. That was the beginning of my obsession with sucking cock. Hell, I went wild! Night and day, that's all I thought about.
Greg had no idea of what was going on. He was in the graduate school and had very little contact with underclassmen. We dated, eating lunch together each day at school, and spent just about every weekend together. However, kissing was our only form of sexual expression. And with each kiss I wanted more. I had to get it from others.
I met a man on the street in downtown Albuquerque who asked me to his motel room. He had a small cock, but loved what I did to it. He came three times in my mouth, and then once again as he watched me spread my pussy lips open in front of him.