"…soap," she mumbled and closed the door.
I think her trip to our apartment was the fastest education she had had in her entire life. And it seemed that she wanted more.
Two weeks later we received an invitation to dinner in their apartment. I didn't want to accept, but Greg talked me into it. He thought it could prove to be fun. I was afraid the evening would be a terrific dud. I was wrong.
We arrived right on time and Lois opened the door almost before we knocked. She greeted us with a huge plastic smile and a loud "HELLO!"
Then we met Denny. He was shorter than she and he wasn't at all bad-looking. I guess I would say he was timid-looking, but quite intelligent in a mechanical way. He was a nice guy. They seemed perfect for each other.
The dinner was an experience. Lois first spilled wine all over herself and then on her husband. She forgot to tighten the plug on the bottom of the salt shaker so I suddenly had a dish of food covered with a pyramid of salt. Then she baked a lemon pie so much that we had to crack the meringue with an ice pick.
After dinner, we all sat in their living room – maple and chintz – and sipped brandy and talked.
"Have any hobbies?" Denny asked Greg.
"Sex," Greg replied immediately. Lois giggled.
"I like going to the theatre, but there isn't much of it here in Albuquerque," Denny said.
"I like live plays a lot," I said.
"Oh, me too," Lois said proudly. "I used to be in the theatre, you know. I was a stage manager and a sound technician – until I accidentally erased the entire tape of background music for a show the day before opening – and I still love the theatre."
"You erased an entire tape?" Greg asked, wondering how in the hell she did such a thing.
I pushed the wrong button she said. Then she slammed her glass down on the coffee table. "Oh hell," she snapped, "the director was an ass anyway, served him right."
Denny looked at her crossly. "An ass, huh? His new show opens on Broadway next week."
Lois ignored him and poured herself another glass of brandy.
Well, that's an idea of what we talked about, until we all got roaring drunk. Then the mood changed. It reminded me – since we were thinking about plays – of Albee's Virginia Woolf where the new couple come to visit George and Martha.
Lois started telling us how she hated kids and didn't want children and Denny kept saying he wanted them. Lois got louder and louder as they started arguing about it. Greg and I felt very uncomfortable.
"Of course you don't want kids! You don't even know how to fuck!" Lois screamed. I collapsed – I couldn't believe she had said it.
"Oh, sure, blame it on me! You just like your banana better!" Denny shouted at her.
"It's a hell of a lot bigger!" she snapped.
Banana? What were they talking about? Denny kindly explained as Lois pouted.
"You see, it all goes back to her childhood. Some girlfriend of hers told her it was great fun sticking a banana up her twat and so she tried it and got hooked! She's got a banana fetish! Everytime we fuck, she's gotta do it with the banana first, to get warmed up."
"Oh, honey, come on…" Lois gurgled, slouching in the chair.
I wanted to hear more. It was so perverse and crazy and interesting. Greg felt the same way.
"She used to have a plush monkey. All the other kids had teddy bears, right? She has to have a monkey so she can identify with the damn bananas. You should see the trick she does with it!" Denny said with a glimmer in his eye.
"Trick?" Greg asked. "With the monkey!"
"No, with the banana!" Denny said. He looked at his wife for a moment and then grinned.
"Oh no," she said, curling up in the chair. "I'm not going to do any performances!"
"Honey, come on!" "Please! Do the banana number for us!"
Greg and I looked at each other. We couldn't believe what we were hearing. Greg decided to use a little reverse psychology.
"I'll bet you can't. Nobody can do anything with a banana."
"WHAT?" Lois screamed, sitting upright in the chair. "I'm the best banana buster in the world!"
"Please show us," I urged in a feminine tone.
"Well," she giggled, "it would take a few minutes to get ready. My costume and all."
"We'll be glad to wait," Greg said.
"Yes," I added, "the night is young!"
"Okay," she said, getting up. She had a little trouble getting out of the room – she walked smack into the wall – but finally made it to her bedroom and shut the door.
While she was getting ready, a strange thing happened. There suddenly seemed to be nothing to say. Denny felt nervous and he got up to put a record on the stereo. Greg looked at me and I knew at once that we were both thinking the same thoughts. I reached up and put my hand on Denny's leg.
Denny froze. He stood there, record in his hands, looking down at me. I smiled. Then he looked at Greg, and he too smiled. Denny set the record down, gave a look to the bedroom where his wife had just disappeared, and knelt down on the floor in front of me.
I moved to the floor and kicked my shoes off. Greg did the same. Then I quickly lifted my short skirt and slid my panties down my legs. Greg pulled them from my feet and my pussy was wide open in front of Denny's gaze. He stared at it transfixed.
I brought my finger down to rub against the lips, curling the hair as I did, petting myself as the guy stared with his mouth open. Then Greg moved his head to the floor and crawled between my legs and planted a good solid kiss on my cunt. Denny looked like he had never seen such a thing in his life.
Then Greg and I turned to Denny. Without saying a word, Greg made him kneel upright, and held his hands behind his back. Then I quickly undid his pants and pulled them down to his knees. The shorts that Lois had said were always on her husband slid down easily and his cock jumped out.
It was quite small, but nicely formed. His balls hung loose in their sac and the hair around his organ was blond, with light brown tufts. I touched it with my fingertips until it reached its full length. Then I kissed it.
His whole body shivered. I realized at that moment that he probably had never had a blow job in his entire life – Greg said later that he doubted that they had gone past page four in the marriage manual – and I was determined to give him his first.
Greg released his grip on Denny's hands and brought his fingers down between Denny's legs to rub his balls as I took his penis into my mouth. As I began to suck on the hard cock, Greg moved around and did various things to excite both of us. He played with my breasts, licked at my pussy and buttocks, and rubbed Denny's balls when my saliva dribbled down them. Then Greg pulled his long cock out of his pants and started masturbating as he watched me suck Denny's cock.
I slid my lips over Denny's hard penis till all of it was in my mouth. I reached for and clawed at the smooth, bronzed globes of his ass cheeks. He had almost no hair on his body, except for his head and his pubic area. His legs were smooth, his arms were smooth, and his ass was smooth, almost like a woman's soft skin.
He was soon slamming upward into my mouth as my head bobbed up and down his slick cock. It rubbed across the roof of my mouth and lightly scraped my upper teeth. His cock had an upward curve to it.
Suddenly at that moment I thought of the boy I had sucked off in the wet bushes, that awful night some months before. There was something much the same about this situation, something much the same about this guy. In a matter of minutes, when they had least expected it, they had been given a blow job by a nice girl. Their cocks were even much the same size. And they were both virgins – at least I thought so – to fellatio.