“I wish it could be that simple,” Vanyel sighed, but he smiled a little when he said it. He ate what Stef gave him, then sipped at his wine, watching Stefen, his strange silver eyes gone dark and thoughtful.
“I have a surprise for you,” Stef said, unable to bear the silence anymore. He got up, went to the desk, and took out the box he'd put there earlier. “I left it here in case you came back to your room before I got done. Here -”
He thrust it into Vanyel's hands and waited, hardly breathing, for the Herald to open it.
Vanyel turned the catch on the simple wooden box, saying as he did so, “You didn't have to do this - you don't have to give me things, Stef -” The lid came open, and he saw what nestled in the velvet and his mouth opened in a soundless “oh.”
He took it out, his hands trembling a little. He'd told Stef once or twice that he was hampered in his mage-craft by not having a good focus-stone. The mineral he worked best with was amber, which wasn't particularly rare, but he had a problem similar to his aunt Savil's. For mage-work, the clearer and less flawed the stone, the better it focused power. And amber rarely appeared totally clear and without inclusions. When it did - it was expensive. Since the loss of his first focus-stone a few years ago, Van had never again found a piece even in the raw state that was flawless and large enough to be of use. Flaws in a stone could make it disintegrate or even explode when stressed by magic energies.
So, like Savil, Vanyel had to do most of the work that required a focus through his secondary stone, an egg-shaped piece of tiger-eye.
Stefen's present was a faceted half-globe of completely flawless, water-clear, dark gold-red amber, set in a thin silver band with a loop at the top so that it could be worn as a pendant. He'd begged a silver chain of Jisa just so that Van could wear it immediately. Jisa had given one to him without asking why, but when he'd told her, she'd been as pleased as if the gift had been for her.
“Stefen,” Van said in a strange, strained voice. “You have to tell me. Where - and more importantly, how - did you get this?”
“I didn't steal it!” Stef exclaimed, stung.
“I didn't think you did, love - but there's no ordinary way you could afford something like this, and we both know it.” Vanyel put the pendant back in the box and closed it. “I can't in good conscience wear 'this until I know.”
He thinks I sold my bed-time for it, Stef thought suddenly. Oh, gods - I have to put him right.
“I met this gem-merchant,” he said quickly. ”He was giving some of the ladies I was playing for a private showing; amber, pearls, and coral, really unusual things, but he says he's been all over the world at one time or another. Anyway, he had this and I saw it, and he saw me looking at it. He told me it would be useless to me, that it was made to be a mage-focus . . . well, we got to talking, and I told him I wanted it for you, even though I knew I couldn't afford it.”
He remembered what the merchant had told him, too: “What, a Bard like you? Gods, my friend, in my country you'd have been showered with baubles like this a thousand times over. A Gift such as yours is rarer than all my collection put together.”
Then the merchant's face had grown thoughtful. “On the other hand, perhaps we could do each other a service. . . .”
“So anyway, he offered to give me the stone if I'd do him a favor. He had some more private showings planned, at the house he'd rented, for fellow gem-merchants. He said they were a lot harder to convince than pretty ladies and he wanted me to play for them -”
He faltered, for Vanyel was looking at him in a way that made him feel as if he had sold himself. “- he didn't ask me to do anything like make them buy things. Just to put them in a pleasant mood; make them feel good, and allow him to drop the fact that I was the King's Bard to impress them. That was all! I didn't do anything wrong!”
Vanyel was still looking at him doubtfully.
“Did I?” he asked, in a very small voice.
The Herald weighed the box in his hand. Stefen felt worse with every passing moment. He'd intended this to be a love-offering, and instead the thing had turned into a viper and bitten them both.
Finally Van opened the box, and took the amber out. Stef heaved a sigh of relief. Vanyel stared at the beautiful thing, and shook his head. “You didn't do anything wrong - but only by accident and the fact that I don't think your friend wanted you to get into trouble,” he said, in a low voice. “You came so close to misuse of your powers that I shudder to think about it. You must never use your Gift to manipulate people except at the orders of the Crown, Stef. You can be stripped of it, if you do. And it's wrong, Stef, it's just plain wrong. What if this man had been unscrupulous, and had been trying to sell trash - and what if he'd actually asked you to influence people to buy? What if he'd drastically overpriced his wares and asked you to make them think he was giving them a bargain? What if he'd brought in those who couldn't afford his merchandise and told you to make them want it enough to buy it no matter what?”
“Stop!” Stef cried, horribly ashamed of himself. Now he almost wished he had sold himself; it seemed more honest.
“Stef -”Vanyel caught his hand and drew him down beside his chair. “Stef, I didn't want to make you feel bad. You didn't do any of those things; you didn't misuse your powers. But it was a very near thing. You can thank that merchant for being an honest fellow, and not leading you into temptation.”
Stefen vowed silently to think about what he was being asked to do before he did it. And he marveled a little at this change in himself. A year ago he would have done any of those things, and never considered them wrong.
“Van,” he said quietly, “Being with you . . . you've shown me that it's as wrong to play with peoples' minds and emotions as it is to steal -” He hesitated a moment, then added, “In a way, it is stealing from them. It's stealing their right to think and feel at their own will. I wouldn't have understood that before I met you, but I do now.”
Vanyel relaxed completely, and closed his hand around the amber half-globe. “Then I can wear this, Stef, and I will, gladly, and I'll use it knowing it was a gift of love and honor.” He bowed his head and chuckled. “I suppose that sounds rather pretentious and pompous, like something out of a ballad - but it's how I really feel, Stef.”
“If you thought any differently, you wouldn't be Vanyel,” Stef replied, flushing happily as Van pulled the chain over his head and laid his right hand on Stef's shoulder.
“You give me too much credit, lover,” Vanyel said quietly. “I'm as prone to being a fool as anyone else. And just now, I'm a very sore fool. Could I possibly get you to use those talented hands of yours to unknot my shoulders?”
“And give me a chance to have my hands on you?” Stef grinned. “Of course you could, and I will. Gladly.”
Vanyel finished off his wine in a single gulp, peeled off his tunic, kicked off his boots, and sagged back into his chair. Stefen got up and moved around behind him, and began kneading his shoulders with steady, firm pressure.