I put it down. Why worry about it, Zack? It's just another agency. As for their claims - I've heard you say that you have all the best ones in your stable. You didn't expect to be believed, did you?'
No,' he conceded, not quite, maybe - among us two. But this is really serious, Mr Fraser. They've hired away most of my really first-class operators with salaries and bonuses I can't match. And now they offer magic to the public at a price that undersells those I've got left. It's ruin, I'm telling you.'
It was hard lines. Feldstein was a nice little guy who grabbed the nickels the way he did for a wife and five beady- eyed kids, to whom he was devoted. But I felt he was exaggerating; he has a tendency to dramatize himself. Don't worry,' I said, I'll stick by you, and so, I imagine, will most of your customers. This outfit can't get all the magicians together; they're too independent. Look at Ditworth. He tried with his association. What did it get him?'
Ditworth - aagh!' He started to spit, then remembered he was in my office. This is Ditworth - this company!'
How do you figure that? He's not on the letterhead.'
I found out. You think he wasn't successful because you held out. They held a meeting of the directors of the association - that's Ditworth and his two secretaries - and voted the contracts over to the new corporation. Then Ditworth resigns and his stooge steps in as front for the nonprofit association, and Ditworth runs both companies. You will see! If we could open the books of Magic, Incorporated, you will find he has voting control. I know it!'
It seems unlikely,' I said slowly.
You'll see! Ditworth with all his fancy talk about a nonprofit service for the improvement of standards shouldn't be any place around Magic, Incorporated, should he, now? You call up and ask for him-'
I did not answer, but dialled the number on the letterhead. When a girl's voice said, Good morning - Magic, Incorporated,' I said:
Mr Ditworth, please.'
She hesitated quite a long time, then said, Who is calling, please?'
That made it my turn to hesitate. I did not want to talk to Ditworth; I wanted to establish a fact. I finally said, Tell him it's Dr Biddle's office.'
Whereupon she answered readily enough, but with a trace of puzzlement in her voice, But Mr Ditworth is not in the suite just now; he was due in Dr Biddle's office half an hour ago. Didn't he arrive?'
Oh,' I said, perhaps he's with the chief and I didn't see him come in. Sorry.' And I rang off.
I guess you are right,' I admitted, turning back to Feldstein.
He was too worried to be pleased about it. Look,' he said, I want you should have lunch with me and talk about it some more.'
I was just on my way to the Chamber of Commerce luncheon. Come along and we'll talk on the way. You're a member.'
All right,' he agreed dolefully. Maybe I can't afford it much longer.'
We were a little late and had to take separate seats. The treasurer stuck the kitty under my nose and twisted her tail'. He wanted a ten-cent fine from me for being late. The kitty is an ordinary frying pan with a mechanical bicycle bell mounted on the handle. We pay all fines on the spot, which is good for the treasury and a source of innocent amusement. The treasurer shoves the pan at you and rings the bell until you pay up.
I hastily produced a dime and dropped it in. Steve Harris, who has an automobile agency, yelled, That's right! Make the Scotchman pay up!' and threw a roll at me.
Ten cents for disorder,' announced our chairman, Norman Somers, without looking up. The treasurer put the bee on Steve. I heard the coin clink into the pan, then the bell was rung again.
What's the trouble?' asked Somers.
More of Steve's tricks,' the treasurer reported in a tired voice. Fairy gold, this time.' Steve had chucked in a synthetic coin that some friendly magician had made up for him. Naturally, when it struck cold iron it melted away.
Two bits more for counterfeiting,' decided Somers, then handcuff him and ring up the United States attorney.' Steve is quite a card, but he does not put much over on Norman.
Can't I finish my lunch first?' asked Steve, in tones that simply dripped with fake self-pity. Norman ignored him and he paid up.
Steve, better have fun while you can,' commented Al Donahue, who runs a string of drive-in restaurants. When you sign up with Magic, Incorporated, you will have to cut out playing tricks with magic.' I sat up and listened.
Who said I was going to sign up with them?'
Huh? Of course you are. It's the logical thing to do. Don't be a dope.'
Why should I?'
Why should you? Why, it's the direction of progress, man. Take my case: I put out the fanciest line of vanishing desserts of any eating place in town. You can eat three of them if you like, and not feel full and not gain an ounce. Now I've been losing money on them, but kept them for advertising because of the way they bring in the women's trade. Now Magic, Incorporated, comes along and offers me the same thing at a price I can make money with them too. Naturally, I signed up.
You would. Suppose they raise the prices on you after they have hired, or driven out of business, every competent wizard in town?'
Donahue laughed in a superior, irritating way. I've got a contract.'
So? How long does it run? And did you read the cancellation clause?'
I knew what he was talking about, even if Donahue didn't; I had been through it. About five years ago a Portland cement firm came into town and began buying up the little dealers and cutting prices against the rest. They ran sixty-cent cement down to thirty-five cents a sack and broke their competitors. Then they jacked it back up by easy stages until cement sold for a dollar twenty-five. The boys took a whipping before they knew what had happened to them.
We all had to shut up about then, for the guest speaker, old B. J. Timken, the big subdivider, started in. He spoke on Cooperation and Service'. Although he is not exactly a scintillating speaker, he had some very inspiring things to say about how businessmen could serve the community and help each other; I enjoyed it.
After the clapping died down, Norman Somers thanked B. J. and said, That's all for today, gentlemen, unless there is some new business to bring before the house-'
Jedson got up. I was sitting with my back to him, and had not known he was present. I think there is, Mr Chairman - a very important matter. I ask the indulgence of the Chair for a few minutes of informal discussion.
Somers answered, Certainly, Joe, if you've got something important.'
Thanks. I think it is. This is really an extension of the discussion between Al Donahue and Steve Harris earlier in the meeting. I think there has been a major change in business conditions going on in this city right under our noses and we haven't noticed it, except where it directly affected our own businesses. I refer to the trade in commercial magic. How many of you use magic in your business? Put your hands up.' All the hands went up, except for a couple of lawyers'. Personally, I had always figured they were magicians themselves.
OK,' Jedson went on, put them down. We knew that; we all use it. I use it for textiles. Hank Manning here uses nothing else for cleaning and pressing, and probably uses it for some of his dye jobs too. Wally Haight's Maple Shop uses it to assemble and finish fine furniture. Stan Robertson will tell you that Le Bon Marchй's slick window displays are thrown together with spells, as well as two thirds of the merchandise in his store, especially in the kids' toy department. Now I want to ask you another question: In how many cases is the percentage of your cost charged to magic greater than your margin of profits? Think about it for a moment before answering.' He paused, then said: All right - put up your hands.'