“You don’tknow what you’re asking,” Tylendel said, almost angrily; pulling his hand out of Vanyel’s, his eyes no longer readable. “You can’t know. You don’t know what Iam.”
“But I do,”Vanyel protested desperately. “I do, the girls tell me things to get my attention - they told me you’re - uh - shay’a’chern,they said. That you don’t sleep with girls; that you - “ He felt himself blush, the rush of blood almost painful, his cheeks were so sore from crying.
“Then dammit,Vanyel, what do you think I’m made of?” Tylendel cried harshly, his face twisted and his eyes reflecting internal pain. “What do you think I am?
Marble? You’re beautiful,you’re bright, you’re everything I’d ever ask for - you think I can stay here and not want you? Good gods, I won’ttake advantage of an innocent, but what you’re asking of me would try the control of a saint!”
“You don’t understand. I knowwhat I’m asking,” Vanyel replied, catching his wrist again before he could get up and stalk off into the dark. “I doknow.”
Tylendel shook his head violently and looked away.
“ ‘Lendel - look at me,” Vanyel pleaded, pouring his heart out in a confession he’d never have dared to make before this. “Listen - I don’t like girls either. I’m notan innocent, I know what I want, ‘Lendel, please, listen - I’ve been - rl’ve beddedenough of them to know that they don’t do anything for me. It’s - about as mechanical as dancing, or eating. They just don’t meananything to me.”
Tylendel stopped trying to pull away, and turned a face to Vanyel that was so full of dumbfounded surprise that the younger boy had to fight hysterical laughter.
“And I do? You - “ Tylendel began, then his face hardened. “Don’t play with me, Vanyel. Don’t toy with me. I’ve had that game played on me once already - and I don’t want to hear you crying to Savil in the morning that I seduced you.”
Vanyel bit his lip, and looked directly into Tylendel’s eyes, pleadingly. “I’m not playing, ‘Lendel. Please.” He felt his eyes sting, and this time didn’t try to hide the two tears that spilled down his raw cheeks. “I - I’ve been thinking about this for a long while. Almost since I got here, and they - told me about you. And you never laughed at me. You - were - kind to me. You kept being kind to me even when I was pretty rude. It meant a lot to me. And I didn’t know how to thank you. I - started feeling - things around you. I was scared. I didn’t dare let you guess. I didn’t want to admit what I wanted; now I do.”
The older boy looked at him sideways. “Which is?”
Vanyel gulped. “I want to be with you, ‘Lendel. And if you go - I won’t have any choice but the ice - “
Once again Tylendel cupped his face between his strong hands, and gently brushed the tears away with hesitant fingers. He stared deeply into Vanyel’s eyes for so long, and so searchingly, that Vanyel thought he surely must be reading right down to the depths of his soul. Vanyel held his gaze, and tried to make his own eyes say that he meant every word he’d said. Tylendel finally nodded, once, slowly.
Then he reached out, quite deliberately, and snuffed the candle before taking Vanyel back into his arms.
It was very dark; no light outside, no sound but the rain falling. After a moment, Tylendel chuckled with what sounded like surprise, and said softly into Vanyel’s ear, “I’m beginning to wonder just who’s taking advantage of who, here.”
Then, a bit later, another chuckle to tell Vanyel that he was teasing. “Move over, you selfish little peacock, I’m about to freeze to death.”
Then no words at all.
Then again, they didn’t need words.
The halls were totally deserted, chill, and lit by lamps that were slowly flickering out as they used up the last of the night’s oil. Savil’s slow, weary footsteps echoed before and behind her without disturbing so much as a spider. At one point on the long walk back to her quarters from the Council Chamber, Savil wasn’t entirely certain she was going to make it. She was so damned tired she was about ready to give up and lie down in the middle of the cold hall.
I’m getting too old for this,she told herself. No more younglings after this lot. I can’t take the emotional ups and downs. And I truly cannot take these all-night sessions with a lot of stubborn old goats.
She grinned a little ironically at herself.
Of which I am one of the most stubborn. But gods- hours like this are for the young. Ihurt. And I think I’m going to beg off ‘Lendel’s weather working lesson today, else my bones are going to ache more. Gods bless - the door at last.
She pushed open the door to the suite; Tylendel had left a night-candle burning, but it, too, was guttering. No matter, there was the pearly gray light of an overcast dawn creeping in through the windows of her room, the lifebonded’s, and Tylendel’s -
She froze. Tylendel’s bed was unoccupied; she could see it through the door.
Don’t panic, old woman- she cautioned herself. Just do a bit of a trace, first- you’ve shared magic; you ‘ve got the line to his mind. See where it leads.
She found the little energy-link that said Tylendeland followed it back to where Tylendel himself was. It wasn’t very far. Still in the suite, in fact. In Vanyel’s room.
Vanyel’sroom?
Her first reaction was to fling the door open and demand to know what was going on. Her second was to chuckle; with aura overtones like thatshe bloody well knewwhat was going on!
But - Vanyel?Gods have mercy. No sign he was shay ‘a ‘chern-
Then again, given Withen’s prejudices, he mighthave feared for a long time that the boy was fey. And Withen’s answer to that fear would have been -
Exactly what he’d been doing. Keeping the boy sheltered at home rather than fostering him out and trying to shove him in the direction Withen wanted. Trying to force the boy into a mold he was totally unsuited for. And he also might well have protected the boy from even the ideathat same-sex pairings were possible. So the boy himself wouldn’t have known what he was - until he first found out about ‘Lendel.
Which answered a great many questions indeed. The question now was - what had led to this, and what was it going to mean for the future?
She took a deep breath of the chilly, damp air, and groped her way back to her own room. No use rushing things; questioning could be done just as easy with herself lying in her own warm bed. Easier, actually, given
how she felt.
She stripped herself down to the skin, promised her weary bones a bath later,and dragged on a bedgown before crawling into the blankets. The warmblankets, and she blessed Tylendel’s thoughtfulness for putting the warming spell on her bed before he’d taken to his own. Or - whatever.
She settled herself comfortably, and reached out a thin tendril of Mindspeech in Private-mode. If the imp was awake-
He was.
:Savil?:came the sleep-blurred thought, dense with a feeling of contentment. –
.Thought I heard you come in. Found me, hmm?:
:Aye. And I have a pile of questions.:She shifted herself until her left shoulder stopped aching quite so much. :The only important one is, how did you talk him into it?:
:I didn’t. It was all Van’s idea.: