Mack held up a hand. "Stop."
Ceese stopped. He saw Mack simply disappear.
Then he looked closer and realized that they were at the edge of a chasm. There was a fast-moving river at the bottom, and Mack had swung down a little way, clinging to a complicated root system.
Ceese saw the other side and it didn't look so far off. He extended his huge arm to reach for the opposite bank. But inexplicably he couldn't quite touch it. It was as if it kept retreating just enough to be a half-inch out of reach.
"I can't bridge it," said Ceese.
"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," said Mack. "I think it's part of the protection of the place.
You can't cross over the chasm, you have to get down to the river's edge."
Ceese crept along the edge. "All right, I'll climb down over here so I don't accidently kill you by brushing you off the wall of the canyon."
Ceese swung a leg down over the edge.
"Stop!" screamed Mack.
"Just a second," said Ceese, meaning to drop down to the bottom before he stopped.
"Stop now! Get your leg back up! Now!"
Ceese stopped. But he still felt an overwhelming desire to jump down.
The same kind of desire he felt that day Yolanda tried to get him to throw baby Mack over the stair rail. So maybe it was an impulse he ought to ignore.
Ceese pulled up his leg.
Mack ran over to him. "Your leg was shrinking. As soon as it went over the side, it was getting down to normal size. What if you aren't big when you go down there?"
Mack pulled the film canister out of his pants pocket and held it up by his ear. "What should we do?"
Ceese didn't bother getting Puck out of his pocket. It was Yolanda in charge of this expedition.
"She says she has no idea what happens, she's never been here before. But maybe it's time to let them out."
Ceese pulled the canister out of his pocket. It was easier to get the top off without Mack's help.
Ceese saw Puck stick his head out. He was drenched with sweat, panting. "I want air-conditioning before I go back in there."
"Watch out for birds," said Ceese.
"Not so many around here," said Puck.
"Only takes one."
"At this point I don't care. It can't be any worse inside a bird's gut."
Ceese saw that Mack was perching Yolanda inside the collar of his shirt. A killer squirrel leapt for the spot. Mack dodged and the squirrel plunged over the side. Ceese had never heard a squirrel scream before. Now he knew why Wile E. Coyote never made a sound in the Road Runner cartoons. An animal screaming all the way down a cliff was a chilling sound.
"No way in hell I'm getting inside your collar!" shouted Puck.
"Where then?"
"Your jacket pocket."
"What if you get big real fast?" said Ceese. "I don't want to have to replace this jacket, it's real leather."
"Now it's mesh," said Puck.
Sure enough, the birds and squirrels and who knew what other creatures had pecked and torn holes all over the leather. Tiny ones, but holes all the same. Ceese realized his neck must look like that, too.
Mack called out. "Yo Yo says to go slow, and hold on to vines and roots the whole way. Plants don't obey Oberon the way animals do. Especially trees. Very stubborn. They won't let go of us."
Then he added, "Nobody ever called a tree a pushover."
"Maybe it's turning over a new leaf," said Ceese.
a child getting a piggyback ride.
"That shirt's going to rip, you get any bigger," said Ceese helpfully.
Puck was out of his pocket now, holding on to his shoulders. And by the time they reached the bottom, Puck was as heavy as the slightly overweight older man that he was, while Ceese was just a normal-sized LAPD cop.
Also, Puck and Yolanda were stark naked.
"Our clothes didn't grow back to normal size," Puck explained. "Oberon's sense of humor."
"But my clothes shrank back to normal size with me," said Ceese.
"No way did Oberon make up this place in the split second when he realized we were imprisoning him," said Yolanda. "Not with all these complicated traps. He was already plotting this. I think we got him just in time."
Puck smiled wickedly. "Well, that's my beloved master. Mayhem with a dirty twist."
"I was counting on Ceese still being a giant when we got to the grove."
"Maybe he will be, when we go up the other side," said Mack.
"If there's any chance my clothes will get exploded when I get bigger, I'm taking them off down here," said Ceese.
Since nobody offered him any guarantees, he took off everything except his underwear. Then he jumped over the water, with Puck holding his hand. Mack brought Yolanda over the water, too.
By ten feet up the cliff on the other side, Ceese's underwear had burst open. He was growing again. And the two fairies were shrinking. Only there weren't any pockets this time.
"You're sweaty and you stink," said Puck.
"You want a bath," said Ceese, "we got running water down there."
"I was just saying: Wear some cologne."
"I do."
"What, eau de pig sty?"
"It just said 'toilet water.' "
Puck laughed—well, chirped, his voice being very high by now.
Of course, to a naked guy—even a giant—any size cat was plenty dangerous. Those claws.
Those teeth. Ceese's scrotum shriveled. "What if he goes for my dick?" asked Ceese.
"Then ten thousand women will mourn!" shouted Puck. "Let's get a move on!"
"It's not fair that Mack gets clothes and I don't," said Ceese.
"What are you, six?" asked Puck.
Ceese didn't bother answering. The birds were really going at him now, and with no leather jacket to protect him the branches were almost as bad.
They were at the edge of the clearing.
The two lanterns were still there.
"There I am!" shouted Puck.
"Wait!" cried Yolanda. "Let me at least look for traps."
In reply, Ceese handed Puck to Mack and crawled into the clearing.
The panther leapt.
Ceese swatted it away. It struck a tree trunk and dropped in a heap at the base.
Ceese reached out for the nearest floating lantern. It shied away from his hand. When he tried for the other one, it did the same.
"All right, Miss Fairy Queen, what do I do now? Keep playing this game till I die of old age?"
"Be patient," said Yolanda. "When I say the counterword, they'll stop evading you. But the moment I say it, you have to get them both at once. One can't be opened without the other. That's the way Oberon thinks. He'd make sure we can't figure out which soul is mine and then leave Puck imprisoned. So if I get free, Puck gets free, and then my darling husband will try to make Puck do something."
Puck just stood there and grinned.
Ceese asked him, "You couldn't just tell us what will happen, could you?"
"Of course he can't," said Yolanda. "He is not his own fairy. Don't worry. Now be ready, because as soon as I say the counter-word, we have to move very quickly."
"I'm ready," said Ceese.
Then she slumped to her knees and her voice also became audible as the scream lowered in pitch and faded to a sigh.
Ceese reached out both hands at once and snatched at the lanterns. They held still. He caught them.
Kneeling in the grass, he got his thumbnails under the lantern roofs and tried to pry them off at exactly the same moment. "Somebody needs to bring pop-top technology to Fairyland," he said.
"Just break them. Crush them," whispered Yolanda, exhausted for the moment by the word she had uttered. "You can't hurt us. That's our most immortal part inside that glass."
"How can one part be more immortal than another?" grumbled Ceese as he pried.
"Immortaler," said Puck, correcting him like an English teacher. "Do what the lady said."
Still kneeling in the grass, Ceese pinched both lanterns between thumb and forefinger and crushed them.