“Forget it. It’s fine.”
Kevin bumbled over a crack in the pavement as he tried to keep up with her. “Where, uh, where ya hurrying to, Morgan?”
“Home.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, ‘why’? Why am I going home?”
“What are you going to do there?”
“At home? Things.”
“Academy things?”
Glenn stopped in the middle of the street. Someone was playing a holo game on the ground floor of the stack across from them. It filled the street with the sound of shattering glass and sirens.
“I mean, you have to get your application ready, right?”
Glenn’s eyes went sharp on Kevin. “Third-years don’t put in applications to the Academy, Kevin.”
“No,” he said quickly. “Fourth-years do. Ones that are
graduating.”
“How did you — ?” Glenn started, but then it hit her. “You
spliced into the school’s network again.”
“Again? Ha! I haven’t been out since I spliced in two years ago.”
Glenn opened her mouth to tell him that her plans weren’t any of his business and he had no right to look at her records, but it was a waste of breath. She turned away from him abruptly and continued on down the street.
“You applied to skip fourth year yesterday morning,” Kevin said as he followed along beside her. “First thing yesterday morning.”
“So?” Glenn kept her eyes fixed on the dark end of the street and picked up her pace.
“So I was with you until after midnight the night before and you said nothing about it.”
“I don’t tell you everything, Kevin.”
“You do too!” Kevin said. “I’m the only one you tell anything.
So, since I’m not a moron, I can only conclude that you made this decision immediately after you left me at the train station. Is my deduction correct?”
Glenn stopped walking, cursing herself for being stupid enough to meet him.
“Kevin …”
“I didn’t think — ” Kevin turned away. There was a security cairn next to him, a waist-high tower of white plastic and touch areas to report emergencies. Kevin kicked at it with the toe of his boot. “It was dumb, okay? A mistake. Whatever. I didn’t mean it to — ” He kicked the tower again, hard this time. “I mean … was it really that horrible?”
Glenn tried to speak, but she had no breath. The walls of the surrounding stacks seemed to be pressing in on either side of her. She wished she could look up and calm herself with the points of her beloved stars, but the lights of the city washed them out of the sky, leaving nothing but a gray void.
“I have to stay focused,” Glenn said as precisely as she could.
“You know that.”
Kevin stuffed his hands in his coat pockets and looked aimlessly around at the tightness of the neighborhood and the looming stacks. An Authority skiff glided overhead, its red lights pulsing. It rounded a corner and disappeared.
“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Yeah, okay. I was just … you know. I was drunk.”
“You don’t drink, Kevin. You did once and it made you sick.”
“Yeah. Right.” Kevin shook his head and then he started off down the dark street. “Sure felt like I was, though.”
Glenn watched as the neighborhood enveloped him. He had
almost disappeared when he stopped and turned back to her.
“Come on,” he said, urging her along with a toss of his head and a reluctant smile. “Crappy neighborhood. Gotta get you home safe, Morgan.”
Down the hill, blue generator lights poured out from the open door of Dad’s workshop. She could hear the sounds of him working from where she stood. He probably hadn’t moved all day.
The front door of the house unlocked as Glenn approached it, and she let herself inside. Gerard Manley Hopkins yowled from the dark underneath the stairs. Glenn fed him, and when he was done eating, he trotted along ahead of her to her room.
As soon as Glenn made it through the door to her bedroom she collapsed onto the bed. Kevin hadn’t said another word their entire walk home. When they’d reached the turnoff to his house, he’d quietly wished her good night and disappeared.
Glenn grabbed her tablet and switched it on. She hoped she’d find the signed form back from Dad, but there was nothing in her messages. She bent over her calculus and tried to focus, but it was no use. Her thoughts kept coming unstuck, slipping back to Kevin and the snow and the train station, no matter how hard she tried to keep them locked down.
Glenn switched on her star field, stroking Hopkins’s coat
absently. For a moment the stars didn’t look like stars at all. They looked like millions of snowflakes caught in the sky, unable to fall.
Glenn could barely remember all the steps that led to what
happened two nights before. It happened so fast. She and Kevin came out of the theater laughing, making fun of the painfully ancient play their teacher had made them see. Then they were waiting for the train on an empty platform, high from giggling. It was the cold, clear kind of night when everything seemed fresh and clean and moving in fast motion. They were sitting on a bench, and Kevin was making a big show of mocking one of the actor’s exaggerated gestures.
It started to snow. Just lightly. A thin curtain of white swirled around them, caught in the station lights. It dusted the bench and Kevin’s shoulders. Flakes gleamed in his violet hair. Their breath made plumes between them, tiny clouds that tumbled into one another.
Kevin was saying something and then his hand fell onto Glenn’s, covering it. It was nothing at first, an accident, but seconds passed and his hand was still there. Neither of them was wearing gloves, so all the contour and warmth of Kevin’s hand lay along the back of hers, his fingers curling slightly and dipping into the flesh of her palm. He had stopped talking, and there was just the windy sound of the snow. Glenn was sure she was about to say something, but she couldn’t remember what it was. Her forehead and cheeks grew hot despite the cold. Was she getting sick? Did she have a fev-And then Kevin was kissing her, just like that, as if they had leapt forward in time. His hand gripped hers tighter, and Glenn was surprised to feel the muscles in her arm flex, drawing him in, her own hand rising up between them and falling on Kevin’s shoulder. Time jumped
forward again. Now Glenn was standing up and backing away from the bench, a whirl of panic inside her. Before she knew it, she was fleeing down the platform and out into the night. She looked back over her shoulder once as she ran and the snow had surged, wiping the train platform and Kevin away in a haze of white.
Glenn ran all the way home and up to her room, where she found the application for skipping her fourth year. She had received it months earlier but had let it sit, overwhelmed by its enormity. She stood over it, dizzy from the run home, her cheeks burning despite the cold. She could still feel her hand on Kevin’s shoulder, pulling him to her.
Glenn barely remembered filling out the forms and sending them off, but when she was done there was a wave of relief. She had come so close to veering off track. So close to ruining everything.
Glenn took a last look up at the sea of stars and then shut off the light show. The whir of the projectors was replaced by the sounds of her father’s footsteps, soft and shuffling, as he moved into his basement computer lab. Glenn closed her eyes and saw 813, a brilliant afterimage of green and blue. Her hunger for that other world burned inside her.
Glenn touched the tablet’s screen and it came to life. Still nothing from her father. Glenn stared at the blank screen for a moment and then flicked through old mail until she found another form, this one for a class trip into the capital city of Colloquy. At the bottom sat her father’s scrawled signature. It was nothing to break the encryption on the DSS form and drop the signature into it. After all, she was her father’s daughter.
Once it was done, Glenn sat back on her bed and looked at it, amazed that something so small could change everything.