TYPES OF ZOMBIES
Fictional zombies have roots in 19th-century fiction, with Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, but they became prominent in modern times through movies such as Night of the Living Dead (Figure 1-1).
Figure 1-1: Zombies from Night of the Living Dead
The zombies depicted in Night of the Living Dead are classic slow zombies. Slow zombies shuffle around as if in a daze, searching for human flesh to eat. Interestingly, the zombies in this movie are able to use tools, breaking windows with rocks and bashing doors with hefty sticks. Most zombies lose this skill in later film and TV depictions. The portrayal of slow zombies may have reached its cultural zenith with the hit TV show The Walking Dead.
Slow zombies are the most common fictional zombies, and this book focuses on the threats they pose. There are, however, many other types of zombies, as different filmmakers have sought to put their own imprint on the concept. Table 1-1 lists some of the most important modern zombie portrayals along with some features of each type of zombie.
Table 1-1: FICTIONAL ZOMBIE VARIETIES
All zombie types have a number of factors in common. Chief among these is a desire for human flesh. Another, almost universal, truth is that the only sure way to kill a zombie is severe head trauma. Decapitation is highly effective.
ARE ZOMBIES REALLY DEAD?
One important question is whether a person has to be dead in order to qualify as a zombie. In some films, such as World War Z, the zombies are not dead but rather living humans who have been mentally altered by a virus or other parasite. Some would argue that such creatures are, strictly speaking, not zombies at all.
The terminology of death is also tricky with zombies. If a zombie is already dead, how can you kill it again? Although the zombie is a person who has died, has the process of zombification actually brought the person back to life? In that case, zombies could certainly be killed for a second time. However, we often define death as occurring when the heart stops, and zombies’ circulatory systems are clearly not functional, as illustrated by their relative immunity to being shot anywhere but in the head.
If zombies are still dead, then it seems wrong to speak of killing them, but until popular culture invents a new word, it’ll have to do. In this book, I am going to use the phrase killing zombies—while possibly inaccurate, it is not ambiguous.
HOW LONG WILL THE ZOMBIES BE AROUND?
Just how long could a zombie apocalypse last before the zombies disappear? This depends, of course, on the rate at which new zombies are created and the rate of zombie death. The curves for human and zombie populations can be plotted along a horizontal axis that shows the passage of time and a vertical axis that shows the population in billions (Figure 1-2).
Figure 1-2: Human/zombie population curves over time
As the outbreak starts, the human population will plummet as the zombie population increases rapidly due to zombification. However, since many humans will be eaten rather than turned, the zombie population will not reach the preapocalypse human level. How much it rises will depend on the zombified-to-eaten ratio, as well as death rates for both zombies and humans.
After reaching a peak, the zombie population will then start to decline. That’s because as the human population declines, the surviving humans will be those best equipped to survive. (Perhaps they read this book!) The human population will also become more spread out, making it harder for zombies to find people. Eventually, the population of humans will stabilize at a low level.
Zombies, on the other hand, are unlikely to survive well over the long run. Judging by their hunger for human flesh, they need to eat to survive, although just how this works without a fully functioning digestive system is a mystery. In any case, since they don’t photosynthesize, their energy must come from somewhere, and human flesh is the most likely source. But as humans learn to survive, the zombie population will struggle to find food. And since zombies are essentially slow-moving piles of rotting flesh, they’re a carrion eater’s equivalent of a takeout dinner. If we added population curves to the graph for crows, foxes, wild dogs, and other such animals, we would probably find a massive spike in their populations as they cleaned up the mess in pretty short order. Thus, humans who fight back and plenty of natural predators will put downward pressure on the zombie population.
It also seems extremely unlikely that zombies will breed (something that really doesn’t bear thinking about). Therefore, after a while all the zombies will be gone, and humans, who will breed, will start to rebuild civilization.
So, this is your chance. Being in possession of this book should seriously increase your chances of surviving and, hence, reproducing!
POSTAPOCALYPSE SURVIVAL 101
Aside from the emotional tension of the zombie threat, one of the most interesting ideas explored in many zombie films is how the human survivors of a zombie apocalypse will cope.
When the zombie apocalypse comes, you’ll need to be prepared. This book will serve as your survival guide.
HOME
Where you live will be critical to your chances of survival. Most suburban homes will not survive an attack from a determined group of zombies intent on chowing down. If you’re in such a location, you should probably find a new base pretty early on.
Make sure your new home is easy to defend. Many consider a boat the best place to live (zombies are really bad at swimming!), but this isn’t practical if you live a long way from open water. Also, living on a boat presents its own difficulties, including storms and a constant need for fuel unless it’s under sail. You will also have to venture onto land to stock up on supplies, but supply runs will be necessary no matter where you live.
A boat is advantageous because it opens up the possibility of finding a zombie-free island where a community could be established. This is definitely an option to work toward. In fact, assuming you survive the first few days, working your way toward the coast or the shore of a large lake in a series of hops is probably a wise strategy. A long drive could, in theory, take you from anywhere in the country to the coast, but in all likelihood, the roads will be jammed with abandoned cars following desperate attempts to avoid the contagion. So, travel is likely to be slow and dangerous, menaced by the everpresent zombies and possibly other survivors.
If you live somewhere where it gets cold in winter, then you might want to consider getting somewhere warmer. Cold weather means that you’ll need to consume more calories and find some shelter with heating that isn’t too drafty. The only likely way to heat your abode is by burning wood, which you’ll have to go out and gather. On the other hand, an ax is an effective weapon for decapitating zombies.
If you know how to fly a light aircraft, then this is a great way to avoid both zombies and ground obstacles. You may find that your destination airstrip is not clear, and many fields will revert to scrubland without human cultivation, so take some exploratory trips before you commit yourself to soaring past the point of no return.
WATER