“While we’re talking so freely …’’ he said.
Uh-oh, I thought. Here comes the left hook.
“You should see your face. You look like you swallowed spoiled milk.’’
“That obvious?’’
He nodded. “All I was going to ask is if it’d be all right for us to talk again. It’s normally hard for me to open up to people.’’
“Yeah, I know how that is.’’
“How about tomorrow afternoon?’’
When I hesitated, he showed me his open palms; nothing hidden. “Don’t worry, we’ll make it a public place. Let’s say the catering tent. We can grab something to eat and two seats in the back.’’
Still, I didn’t answer. His eyes turned pleading. “I just feel like talking about getting help might make me more likely to finally get help. I know it’s wrong how I’ve treated women.’’
That’s what finally did it. I love to hear someone admit they’re wrong, as long as the someone isn’t me. “Okay, let’s make it for dinner, right there.’’ I pointed to a table just inside the tent’s entrance.
I was surprised at the relief that flooded his face at my decision. I hoped I wouldn’t regret making it.
Tilton walked me back to the picnic table. He handed Jesse her tea, gave my shoulder a friendly squeeze, and then started away. Suddenly, he turned. In what seemed like an impulsive gesture, he bent and kissed me. It was a glancing brush, but still on the lips. “Thanks, Mace.’’
Maddie’s mouth dropped open. Mama’s eyes went wide. Marty’s top teeth were making their way to the bottom row, right through her lower lip.
I was relishing their shocked expressions until I noticed Carlos at Jesse’s trailer. The gaffer was talking to him, but for the moment, at least, Carlos’s glare was aimed at the departing Tilton and at me. I wondered if a scorch spot was forming at the spot where the movie star had kissed me.
When I waved, Carlos scowled. He said something to one of the men, and then shifted to turn his back to me. The gaffer lifted the cable and pointed to the puddle, as the first electrician on the scene nodded.
“Well, you’ve done it now, Mace.’’ When Tilton was out of whisper range, Maddie started in. “Are you trying to convince Carlos you’re the town floozy?’’
“It was a friendly kiss.’’
“From Hollywood’s most notorious womanizer,’’ Marty said in a hushed tone.
“Not smart, girl.’’ Even my new best friend Jesse piled on.
I looked at Mama, who was tsk-tsking me. “When I told you it was good to keep your man guessing, I didn’t mean for you to rub his face in all your affairs.’’
I broke off a piece of a sugar cookie. The whole thing crumbled in my lap. “I’m not having any affairs, Mama. Tilton was just thanking me for agreeing to talk with him tomorrow. He said he wants help with his issues about women.’’
“Oh, please.’’ Jesse blew on her tea. “He wants something, but it’s definitely not help.’’
I turned to watch Tilton walking through base camp. He was smiling and whistling. He didn’t look emotionally troubled. Just as I was about to tell Jesse she might be right, I noticed Carlos watching me from the corner of his eye. Of course, he would catch me at the very moment I was staring after the movie star like a love-struck fan.
Marty said, “You should go talk to him.’’
“Yes, you should,’’ Jesse said. “But could you do it after he’s finished finding out if someone intentionally tried to murder me?’’
_____
“Carlos! Wait up.’’
He walked faster. I had to run after him to catch up. “Didn’t you hear me?’’
“I heard you.’’
Thunder rolled in the distance. It looked like another storm was headed our way. I gathered my breath from my sprint across the pasture.
“Well, why didn’t you stop?’’
“I don’t have time.’’ He still hadn’t broken stride.
“Right,’’ I said. “The investigation.’’
“No,’’ he said. “It’s not that. I’ve got at least an hour to wait before the Florida Department of Law Enforcement can get here to process the crime scene at Jesse’s trailer.’’
“Crime scene?’’
“The electrician showed me where somebody skinned the cable.’’
“The gaffer,’’ I said.
“What?’’
“Never mind. What about the cable?’’
“The rubber was nicked, leaving live wire exposed. It was intentional.’’
I digested that word—intentional. I’d been right, which in this case didn’t make me feel happy. Then the other thing Carlos said registered in my mind.
“What’d you mean before? You said you don’t have time. For what?”
He finally stopped. “For you.’’
“Excuse me?’’
We stood right outside a family cemetery, created by the movie company for the location shoot. The tombstones were made of polyurethane foam, grayed and weathered to appear old. An ancient live oak, real and weeping with Spanish moss, threw long shadows across the make-believe graves.
Carlos grabbed my arm, guiding me through an opening in a split rail fence newly built, but designed to look rustic. “Let’s duck in here for a minute. I owe you that much.’’
Those ominous words made the solid ground feel like a rolling ocean beneath my feet. I almost wished one of those fake graves would gape open and swallow me. At least then I wouldn’t have to hear what I knew Carlos was about to say. Placing his hands on my shoulders, he turned me so he could look me full in the face.
“I can’t do this anymore, Mace. I need to be with someone I can trust.’’
“You can trust me. You keep getting jealous for no reason.’’
He shook his head. “I’m not jealous, I’m exhausted. Will you, won’t you? Loves me, loves me not.’’
“You’re jumping to conclusions. What you just saw with Greg Tilton? I did him a favor, and he gave me a friendly kiss. There’s nothing—nothing—between us.’’
He picked a few strands of moss from one of the low-hanging branches; rolled them between his fingers. “But you see, I’m not sure. I’m never sure. Maybe it’s the cowboy. Or it might be the movie star. Or maybe it’s somebody else. I’m constantly wondering, who are you getting together with that I don’t see?’’
His dark eyes searched my face. “You put up walls, Mace. And I’m tired of trying to knock them down.’’
Tears stung the back of my eyes. I tried to swallow. I couldn’t speak. It seemed my heart was filling up my throat.
“I want a woman who loves me completely.’’
I found my voice. “Like your late wife? I can’t replace her.’’
“I never expected you to. She was my whole life, and I was hers. I do want someone, though, that I am certain is mine.’’
I took a deep breath. “See, that scares me when you say that, Carlos. You make it sound like I’m something you want to possess. I don’t want to feel trapped.’’
“Trapped? So you think of me as your jailer?’’
I reached out to touch his cheek. He backed away from my hand. “Do you?’’ he asked.
I toed the dirt around one of the gravestones. A small one, it said Baby James Burroughs, Asleep with Jesus.
“I don’t feel trapped by you. I feel trapped with you,’’ I said. “Suppose I do commit myself one-hundred percent to you. You do the same with me. Then, suppose it doesn’t work out? That’s what I’m scared of.’’
He cocked his head. “So, is this the part where I’m supposed to reassure you? The part where I say, ‘Don’t worry, Mace. Nothing will ever happen. We’ll be together forever.’ ’’
I didn’t trust myself to speak. So I studied the graves. The stone next to Baby James belonged to his older sister. For the movie, the children died on the same day: January 6, 1893.