“Don’t talk about this like it’s some sort of whim, Nicolai.”
It was one of the few times he’d heard her call him by his full name and it caught Nick’s attention. Most of the time, he didn’t like the way folks often shortened his name without asking for the privilege. From her, however, the shorter version of his given name had always struck a sweeter chord.
“I know how rough it’s been for Mister Van Meter and that precious little boy in there,” she said, now that she had his undivided attention. “But things get hard for everyone, and folks deal with what comes their way. They get stronger for it. If not, they don’t survive. That’s just the way the world works.”
“You don’t have to preach to me on that subject.”
“Then why are you about to ride off, leave me behind and risk your neck after everything’s been so good for us?”
“Because this is a terrible mistake that Joseph’s about to make,” Nick said. “I need to fix it now, before you take Sam to see three graves instead of two.”
“Or four,” Catherine said quietly.
After thinking about it for a few seconds, Nick nodded and replied, “Two’s more than enough for that boy to look at.”
Catherine stepped up to him and held his face in her hands. She moved her fingers just enough to caress his cheeks and then slip them through his coarse, dark hair. “You’ve done more than enough already. You’ve saved Joseph’s life and his son’s. I’m so proud of you, but maybe I’m also a little selfish. Seeing what happened to Joseph made me think how terrible it would be if I lost you. I just don’t think I could live through it.”
“You’re not going to lose me,” Nick assured her.
Tightening her hold on him just enough to keep him from looking away, she asked, “And what happens when you cross paths with those killers again? Joseph’s going after them, so that means going after Joseph will put you in the same spot.”
“Not if I catch up to him fast enough. If you let me gather the things I need, I might be able to round him up before the day’s out. He’s still hurt, which means he’ll either need to rest more than that prisoner or will keel over somewhere along the way. Both of those things makes my job easier, just so long as I don’t waste too much time in getting there.”
“That’s just it, Nick. This isn’t your job.”
Nick didn’t look away from her. Instead, an old darkness crept into his eyes as he said, “Then maybe I just know a bit more about what Joseph is thinking than most anyone else around here.”
“And what’s he thinking about?”
“Revenge.”
Slowly, Catherine took her hands away and shifted her eyes from him. She became still and let out a measured breath. It now seemed she was several miles away from him. As Nick walked around her to collect the things he would need, she stayed in her spot with her arms folded.
After stuffing the things he’d collected into the saddlebags, Nick walked in front of her and wrapped his arms around Catherine’s waist. She resisted at first, but then hugged him and nestled her chin against the base of his neck.
“I’ll come back to you,” he whispered.
“You’d better.”
Nick brushed his lips against her shoulder, using his finger to gently ease down the edge of her blouse so he could touch her bare skin. As much as he wanted to follow through on that line of thought, he only kissed her neck before moving back up to nibble on her ear.
“This reminds me of something my father once told me,” he said.
“Nick, if this reminds you of your father…”
“No,” he chuckled. “Not like that. I told him once that I felt like someone was looking over me. He said there were no angels for outlaws.” Leaning back so he could see her face, Nick said, “I had to fight for years to prove him wrong. I wouldn’t subject any other man to that test.”
Catherine nodded and pressed her face against Nick’s shoulder one more time before he left. There was no way for her to talk him out of going, so she savored the last couple moments he was there.
SIXTEEN
As he rode away, Nick fell into thought. So far, he had been concerned more with what Joseph ultimately intended on doing rather than what how the rancher would actually do it. Nick was all too used to simply throwing his things into a bag and riding away. Most folks weren’t so transient, however, and in Joseph’s case, the man didn’t have much more than the clothes on his back. No matter how distraught he was, Joseph would know he’d need more than that if he was to ride off after anyone.
That meant returning to his ranch.
Nick touched his heels to Kazys’s sides, which got the horse moving at a full gallop. The dark stallion might have been old, but years of pulling a wagon had made him hunger for the thrill of tearing over a trail without anything dragging behind him. Kazys was gasping for breath by the time he arrived at the Van Meter ranch, but didn’t let up until Nick pulled back on the reins.
As soon as he saw Rasa tethered to a splintered hitching post, Nick knew he’d gone to the right spot. He tied Kazys next to the other horse, patted both animals on their noses and started walking toward the ruins of the main house. Before he could get within five paces of the front door, Nick saw someone moving inside. The figure stopped just short of the doorway, with both arms filled to brimming with scavenged items.
“Nick?” came Joseph’s voice from inside the house. “Is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me. If you wanted to collect some of your things, you should have mentioned it. I would have let you borrow my wagon.”
“You’ve done plenty,” Joseph said as he emerged from the house.
Nick looked at the items Joseph was carrying. There were a few articles of clothing, which were used more for wrapping up a shotgun than anything else. Its barrel poked out of an old shirt.
“What’ve you got there?” Nick asked.
“Just some things I’ll be needing. Sorry about taking your horse, but I figured on returning her as soon as I rounded up one of my own. There’s got to be a few still wandering around here. If not, I’ll have to buy one.”
“What about Sam? Were you just going to leave him?”
“Catherine has been doing a fine job of taking care of the boy. Better than I could manage for now. I told him to go to his uncle’s if you two looked like you had your hands full.”
“Isn’t that a big decision to put on a boy’s head?” Nick asked.
Joseph squinted as if contemplating that was giving him a headache. Finally he waved off the question and muttered, “I can’t think about that right now. He’s taken care of himself before and he knows how to get to his uncle’s just fine.”
“You’re not thinking straight, Joseph.”
Joseph was quiet for a few moments, but when he looked at Nick, there was the glimmer of a smirk on his face. “Catherine sent you out here, didn’t she?”
“Not at all. She’s concerned, but I’m the one that’s got a better notion of how you’re feeling right now.”
“Have you seen your family slaughtered in front of you?”
Before he could prepare himself for their arrival, the ghosts swarmed back into his head, filling it with visions of lynch mobs and friends dangling from nooses. He could smell the potent mix of burned gunpowder and freshly spilled blood. Echoes of screams rolled behind his ears.
“I’ve seen plenty,” Nick said. “Maybe not the same things as you, but more than enough to know what it’s like when all you can think about is paying someone back for the wrongs they did to you.”
“So what?” Joseph grumbled. “Are you going to try and tell me how I should just forget about everything that happened, take Sam to another place and try to be happy?”