Nothing she's ever said or done is as painful as that one statement. I don't know how she does it, but I'm mad as hell and completely devastated at the same time. All my strength just melted away. I let the facade drop and allow my raw feelings to have free reign over me. I tilt her chin up forcing her to look at me.
"Don't, Ever. Say. That." My voice is deep, husky. Even though my eyes feel like watery puddles, I give her a pointed look. "No one is worth giving your life up for. Especially not me."
"Tell me about Luna."
I feel my lungs burn from the lack of air. I shake my head.
"Please."
"No. She has nothing to do with us, and I don't want to waste my time with you dwelling on her. Please I need you to just respect that."
"Cooper?" She looks away. "How am I supposed to give you another chance when you won't talk about what's really bothering you? You love her. That's why you have that tattoo."
I shake my head. "That's not why I got it. It's more to remember the things I did wrong. So I don't make the same mistakes, like the one I made with you in Italy. Please, Selene. Just let it drop."
She nods. "Cooper, it's yours. I swear. I haven't been with anyone since . . ."
I can't hold back anymore. I crush my mouth against hers because I don't know any other way to communicate how I feel. This is all I know. My tongue invades her mouth and my hands move up her sides, into her hair, down her back to her ass. After a few minutes of desperate kissing, I pull back, my heart thundering, breathless.
"I was scared. Really, really scared. Maybe this is what I needed to realize you're the only one for me," I whisper pulling her shirt off.
She shakes her head.
"Don't." I bring my hands around to the front of her waistband. "Don't shut me up. Don't shut me out."
I unbutton her jeans and slowly inch them down her long, beautiful legs, making sure my fingertips graze over her skin. I stand up and take my time admiring the beautiful woman in front of me. Her eyes are nervous, vulnerable. She makes no move to touch me. That's okay. This is going to be all about her.
Holding her tight I press my lips against her neck. She moans and squirms in my arms. Her hands rest on my shoulders, and I'm not sure if she's holding on or trying to push me away. I don't think she's fully decided yet.
One leg bends and rises up. Her knee is at my hip. I close my eyes sliding my hand over that leg and place it back on the ground. With my fingers tangled in her hair, I kiss her mouth once more before my hands crawl down her sides, my mouth follows suit, kissing, tasting every delicate inch of her, until my fingers hook into her panties.
I drop to my knees in front of her. Her scent invades my senses and makes me high. I look up checking once more to make sure she's okay and in the moment with me. Her open mouth and hooded eyes spur me on.
With her hips in my hands, my lips tease her lower abdomen. First I dot quick, gentle kisses around her belly button. Her fingers twine in my hair and pull. Finally. I'm on the right track. On the second go around I expand the surface area of my oral assault, opening my mouth and adding my tongue to lick and brush against her skin. Her breaths are coming faster, deeper.
"Cooper," she calls out in her "fuck me" voice. The voice my cock has been waiting to hear. Feeling my own need and desire bringing me to the edge, I nip at her gently from time to time, causing her to whimper.
With her panties still on, I reach between her legs and press my fingers slightly inside. Fuck she's wet. I want to tear these off, but I refrain. I need to hold back and make sure this is good for her.
"Cooper, please!"
I give in to her request and pull her panties down. I stop again and look back up at her. She's leaning her hands back on the counter, holding on, using it for support. Her heaving chest is calling out to me, but that's not the part of her body that needs my immediate attention.
"Do you like that baby?" I ask sliding my fingers over her wetness and plunging them inside her.
"Yes."
With our eyes locked, I pull my fingers out and bring them up to my mouth. I close my eyes as I suck on them, tasting her for the first time. "You taste so good." Again I slip my fingers inside her, thrusting them in and out a few times before I stand and bring them to her lips.
"Taste how sweet you are." I offer her my fingers. Holding my hand, she slides her magical tongue up and down, licking every inch of them.
I don't think I've ever been this hard. Or this turned on. Every time I up my game, she falls into step right beside me. My cock is throbbing with need. Her body is covered with a thin sheen of sweat and mine is building one up, too. As much as I want to revel in her and prolong the experience, I need more. I need all of her. I lift Selene onto the edge of the counter.
"Yes, Cooper. Fuck me." It's a plea, and I'm not ready to put her out of her misery.
"No, baby. Not yet."
I push her legs apart and bring my mouth to the apex of her thighs. My tongue slips between her folds and circles around her clitoris. She's intoxicating. Why haven't I done this before?
She tries to pull back, away, but I don't let her. I keep my mouth where it is and kiss her with every ounce of passion I feel for her. I rub my fingers around her opening. She's moaning and squirming, I know she's close.
I let my fingers plunge inside her and pump them in and out, fast and hard. Her clit hardens even further beneath my tongue, her whole body stiffens. I know she's there. I don't let up. I move faster, harder, very gently taking her clit between my teeth as she cries out through her orgasm.
Once she calms, I get to my feet and pull her head against me. I hold her, and kiss her, hoping she can feel all the things I wish I could say. Who needs words and cliché phrases when we have this?
"You asked me once when we were having sex why I didn't want you to touch me. It's the same reason I've never done that before. I've had intimacy issues." I smoothe her hair. "Not with you. Not anymore. The way we made love in Italy. I don't ever not want to feel your hands all over me."
After a long silence of holding each other close, she finally speaks. "I don't trust you to stay."
I nod. "I wouldn't either. But you didn't trust me at all, and here we are. Still together."
"Are we?"
"Unless you've moved on." I hold my breath.
Selene pushes out of my arms and rushes to put her clothes back on. A sick feeling gathers in the bottom of my stomach. She doesn't have to say it. There's someone else. Mat-fucking-teo. I want to die.
"Does he love you the way I do?"
She shakes her head. "No. And I don't love him."
My head is spinning. "Then why?" This can't be happening.
"He's offered up an arrangement."
"What fucking arrangement?" I'm wishing I did punch him in his smug face. That's why he left the way he did, he thought he had the upper hand.
"It's the same arrangement my parents have."
"You never mentioned this."
She shrugs. "It never came up, and it wasn't what I wanted. Not from you."
"Tell me." I order.
"We'll live together so we split the cost of daily living. It'll help us both, but we won't get married. That way I'll be eligible for food-stamps and free medical, but he'll help me with the baby. His name will go on the birth certificate. He'll be the father for all intents and purposes."
"You said I'm the father."
"And you said you didn't want it."