I don't know if it was my father's guilt, or if the planets aligned perfectly for me. But I didn't even have to think about how I would support us, it just fell right into my lap. Not only did I not know that my father led an "alternative lifestyle" I had no idea he gave up his monkey suit for show biz. Sort of. He's a hot shot producer. He and his new husband pitched a cooking reality show to one of the major networks and they picked it up.
My father expects Anything Goes to be a huge success. Mostly because his flamboyant husband Stephan will be the head judge. But he asked me to work for him, setting up interviews and meetings with prospective contestants. That means not only researching and screening them before they're selected, but doing it all on camera and hosting the show as well. Like the modeling gigs, it's not what I set out for, but it has potential to grow into something big.
"Will you be meeting me at the doctor's today?" Selene asks as I clean my breakfast dish off and place it in the dishwasher.
"I don't know, I'll do my best."
"You say that every month, and you've only made it to one appointment."
A long sigh escapes me. Not this bullshit again. I'm accepting responsibility for the kid, she's living with me, what more does she fucking want?
"I'm sorry, but someone has to work."
"You've had the date and time on your calendar for a month. Are you going to tell me you couldn't figure out another time to do whatever the hell it is you'll be doing?"
"I didn't say I won't be there."
"Yeah, you pretty much did. Don't you think I can read between the lines by now?"
No. No I really fucking don't or else she wouldn't have put us in this situation to begin with.
"Now that you're not working anymore it's that much more important that I find a way to pay for the bills. You're disability is going to run out eventually, and then what? How are we supposed to pay for the kid to eat? It can live off of your tits for only so long before it sucks you dry."
"Uhg!" Selene storms out of the kitchen. A few moments later I hear the bedroom door slam. She may not like what I have to say, but it's the truth. She's having a grand old time playing house, but one of us has to act like a grown up.
I don't bother going after her. I need to get to work and sort through hours of tape with the video editor. Selene will have to deal with her pissy attitude on her own. Once I get out of the elevator and head to the parking garage, I call my sister.
"Hey Lex, you think you can fill in for me at Selene's appointment today?"
"Cooper, what are you going to do if you're actually around when she goes into labor? Huh? You haven't been to one appointment."
"Fuck you. I have been to one, and if it's such a problem, I'll call Mom." I hope she doesn't call my bluff because the last person I ever want to call for help is my mother.
*
"I'm not surprised you knocked her up," my mother says pulling a cigarette out of the pack and taking a long pull on It, as she cups her hand around the end and turns the flint on the lighter. "I'm surprised it's taken you this long to get another girl in trouble."
Not this again.
"Tell me son, are you going to leave this one high and dry as well?"
Why does she always have to go there? Why does she always have to remind me about how I turned my back on Luna?
"I love Selene."
"You loved what's her name, too."
"Luna! Her name was Luna. And this is nothing like that. I thought you might like to know you're going to be a grandmother. If all you want to do is make me feel like shit about it, then I'm sorry, I have to go."
I head for the door, but my mother stops me on the way. She takes my arm and I turn toward her.
"I'm sorry handsome. I'm not being very supportive am I?"
I don't bother answering, I just stare at her.
"That's wonderful news. I can't wait to meet Selene."
*
"So can you help me, Lexi? Or not?"
"I'll be there. You know I like her. I don't want you to fuck this up, Cooper. She's the best thing to happen to you in a really long time."
I ignore her warning. She shouldn't be trying to lecture me on how to live my life when she's been hung up on the same guy for years, who just happens to be a shit just like me.
"Great. I'll let her know you'll be coming to get her."
I send Selene a text message as I sit in the car warming it up. She doesn't respond right away. That's cool. She's a little disappointed. She'll get over it.
*
I don't want to walk into my apartment. I've sent Selene texts all day, but she hasn't responded to one. Lexi called to tell me the appointment went well. Everything looks good, but Selene is super pissed. That's all the excuse I need to meet up with Noah after work and go throw a few drinks back. I'm sure my sister let him off his leash because she thought he could talk some sense into me.
"The shit has to stop, Cooper. Either you're all in, or you're all out. This halfway bullshit is driving everyone crazy."
"So now Lexi is bitching at you about how I'm skirting my responsibilities."
"No, man. I'm not blind. Is your sister stressing over it? Yeah. She likes Selene, and the baby is going to be her niece or nephew. She's afraid Selene is going to jump ship and she's never going to see that kid."
"Jump ship. No worries, there's no place for her to go."
"You really are stupid, man. Just because you're not attracted to her right now doesn't mean no one else is."
I slam my glass down on the bar. "Who's fucking hitting on her? You?"
"Lower your voice," Noah says looking around. "Of course not, but if you think you can let your shit stink the place up because there's nowhere else to go, your wrong. There's always someone or something better out there."
"Is she still talking to that fuck head, Mateo?"
"I don't know," Noah looks away and I know he's full of shit. What's worse is that he's taking her side instead of mine."
"Nice to know I can always count on you," I say throwing down enough money to cover our drinks and the tip. "See you around."
"Cooper, the baby shower is Saturday. You better be available. Troy and I are helping out, but the girls are going to go ape shit if you're not there."
Great, the girls are going to be pissed. Story of my life.
Chapter 19
"Selene!" I yell walking into the apartment, slamming the door behind me.
"What?" She asks coming out of the kitchen, her eyes red and puffy.
I close in on her with a nasty scowl. "Are you still talking to Mateo?"
"You've been out drinking?" She asks in an accusatory tone.
"I met Noah for a drink, only to find out you want to leave me."
"Is that what he told you? I never said that."
"Well you said something that made my sister think you're looking to get out."
"You want to know what I said, I said that it's not working, and I'm worried you're going to resent us."
"That's a load of bullshit."
"Be honest, Cooper. You're not attracted to me anymore. You haven't touched me in months. On the rare occasion that anything does happen between us, it's always me that initiates it."