The door opens in-spite of what I said. Blue/violet eyes meet mine. They're nervous. Scared. Full of tears. My heart picks up speed.
I'm not sure if it's my racing pulse or torrential anger that's making me hot. As I stare at her my eyes burn, my jaw clenches, and I cross my arms over my chest doing my best to hold them there so I don't reach out and strangle her.
"Cooper," my name is a plea on her lips.
I don't answer. I don't know why she's here. I don't think I care either.
Her tongue darts out, moisturizing her lips. I think she's doing it to soften me up. I always commented on how that turned me on. Sorry, baby. Those days are over.
"Cooper, I'm so sorry."
I rub the back of my neck. "What are you apologizing for? Blowing me off? Worrying me? Or cheating on me?"
Her gaze drops to the floor again. I'm waiting, but I don't hear the one thing I'm longing for: a denial.
I take a step toward her, and for a moment, she lifts her eyes to meet mine and I see hope in them. She thinks there's a chance. The feeling makes me happy. She's light and vulnerable, and hoping we can work it out. I force my lips up at the corners, and she smiles back at me and advances, placing her hands on my arms. It means the rejection will sting her that much more.
I take hold of her wrists and throw them off me. "You little, lying slut. Don't ever touch me again."
I turn my back on her and I hear the tears start.
"I'm so sorry, Cooper. You don't understand." I turn and find her wringing her hands. "When you invited me to dinner with you and your dad, I got nervous because why do you want me to meet your father? Men make me nervous. Then I started really considering it. I was in the shower and I planned on calling you and telling you I wanted to come. I never heard him come in."
My stomach turns. Nausea roils in my belly, and rises into my mouth.
"He sat there on the toilet bowl drinking his beer. He was shit faced, and I didn't know what he wanted or what he would do."
She stops and looks down again. When she meets my eyes, she looks sad and broken. A small part of me wants to reach out and hold her. But I remind myself that she left with Dex, and I can't stomach the thought of touching her.
"He took the towels and my clothes. I stood there forever, begging him to leave or to give me something to cover myself with, but he wouldn't. He said he wanted to preview what he'd be sampling later."
She's all out crying, deep heavy sobs, and I want to go and stick a knife in Les' heart. Luna turns from me and drops onto my bed, hiding her face in my pillow. I want to hold her, tell her it's okay, but it's not, because she turned to Dex and not me. If she called, I would've been there. She has to know that. But she chose to turn to him instead.
"Did he touch you?" I ask afraid to hear the answer.
"Les? He wouldn't get out. I called my mother, but she'd gone to the store. I was alone with him. Les approached the tub. All I had between us, the only thing covering me, was the flimsy curtain. He pulled it open and looked me over. I felt dirty and cheap. I just wanted to get away from him, so I gave in and stepped out of the tub." She screws her eyes up, and let's out a cry that breaks my heart. I can't imagine how scared she was. "He grabbed my breast as I walked by and squeezed it hard. I yelled for him to get off me and pushed his hand away. He liked it, his eyes fucking sparkled. Then he slapped me on the ass, and said he couldn't wait for later.
"That's why you didn't go home?"
She nods.
"I would've helped you."
"I didn't mean for it to happen, Cooper. I was scared and Dex was there. I know him. He was warm and safe. He held me."
"I don't need the fucking details."
"Yes you do. It was fine, we were just two friends. I could talk to Dex. He knows Les and how much I hate him. Then he gave me something to relax, and the thing is, I just didn't expect . . ."
"You didn't expect?" I can't hear anymore, I explode. "How could you not? Yes he felt safe. You were in love with him. Maybe you still are."
She cries harder.
"I'm sorry, Cooper. Please give me another chance. I'm scared to go home. I don't know what to do."
"Is he done with you now? Is that the reason you came back to me? If you called me last night. I would have been glad to help you. There isn't one single thing I wouldn't have done for you, including knock the son of a bitch off. But you didn't call me. You didn't even think of me. Instead you went to Dex. Since he knows you so well and he knows how to help you, go back to him."
She wipes the tears with the back of her hands before she heads to the door and walks out. It fucking kills me, but I let her go.
Chapter 24
I don't see Luna for three days. She doesn't show her face in school, which just encourages the whispers behind my back that much more. During that time I hear plenty of shit as I walk down the halls. I assume the gossip mill is going at full strength because she cheated on me so publicly. Losers have nothing better to talk about.
At first, I don't recognize the Goth girl standing across from my locker staring at me. She's dressed all in black, from head to toe, and she cut her hair. No, cut is too nice a word. She looks like she used a hatchet to chop it off. The length is gone, except for on the right side in the front. That piece is still long, and she's using it to hide behind. The rest of it is short, uneven, and I don't know, spiked?
My heart thuds and skitters as I look into the familiar violet/ blue eyes. They're cold, emotionless. What happened to her? I wonder if she's in as much pain as I am. I haven't slept since I found out she cheated. All I do is mope around at home and fight with my mother and sister.
Beneath her left eye something catches my attention. What the hell is on her face? The three blue teardrops stand out. Is that? No, she wouldn't tattoo her face, not permanently would she?
I can't believe this is the same girl I gave my heart to. The one that less than a week ago I'd stay up talking to all night long. The amazing girl I couldn't get enough of, that could make even the most boring literature assignment come to life with fun and laughter. The one I cherished and thought was my soulmate. This can't be the same girl whose body would meld into my embrace as we sat on her roof top making out and staring at the stars, the same girl who visited my dreams each night. But it is her.
We stand frozen, neither of us speaking.
I cross the hall and stand in front of her.
"What did you do?" I ask looking her up and down. Now that I'm standing closer, I see that her skin is pink and bruised around the teardrops.
"They're for you. So you know that I'll always regret what I did. I'll cry over you until the day I die."
A tiny part of me wants to take her in my arms and kiss the pain away, but the bitter taste of betrayal lingering in my mouth is too strong. I can't get past it.
"Stop with the bullshit."
Her eyes drop down. At first I think it's because of what I said to her, but as she brings her wrist into view, I realize she's trying to show me something. Fear seizes me. What can she want me to see on her wrist? If she tried to kill herself, I don't know what I'll do. This shouldn't be the first thought that pops into my head, but it is.