And while the trip westward, and the bungalow on some sunny Los Angeles street, and the Chevrolet, and all the rest of it faded slowly away like the sun was fading outside the windows, she lighted my cigarettes for me between her lips, had the radio going softly, kept passing her hand over my face as though she wanted to learn its outline by heart, and made it seem to me that I had given up nothing and gained everything in having her near me like this, having her love me like this. What more could any one want?
Tenacity brought in two more “long ones” without being told to, around four o’clock. She looked at us, shook her head sympathetically, and carried the empty glasses out with her.
Bernice tasted hers, and blew her breath out as though to cool her mouth. “They’re strong, all right. It’s funny, I can never trust her to do my mixing for me.”
“But you told her to make ’em strong,” I reminded her.
“Yes, that was to begin with, but you should taper them off — she ought to know that by now. I guess the reason I notice it so,” she said, putting her glass down, “is, these are the first drinks I’ve had all week. And today’s Friday.”
“We had some wine together when I was up here Wednesday,” I recalled.
“Yes, but not hard drinks. I haven’t had a hard one since the night we were up at Jerry’s and Marion’s. Let’s see, that was last Saturday. That’ll be a week ago tomorrow.”
“Oh, by the way,” I said. “I forgot to tell you. I ran into Marion yesterday, outside of Gray’s Drugstore.”
“Jerry with her?” she asked idly.
“No, she was alone; she was going to a show, I think. She stopped a minute and spoke to me. I couldn’t remember for the life of me who she—”
She picked up her glass again and went ahead with it where she had left off, remarking, “She’s the sweetheart of one of the big shots here in town. She’s in pretty thick with — well, all sorts of people that I know.”
“All I know is, she’s completely sold out on some guy in Detroit called Sonny Boy,” I laughed.
“Not so loud,” she warned me, half-jokingly, but with a glance at the door. “It isn’t good to know him anymore. One time he was a big shot here himself. Then he ran away to Detroit. Now he’s on the outs with the New York crowd—”
“And jealous as all hell,” I went on, contemplating the contents of my glass. “Always asking me if you’re getting letters from him in Detroit.” I took a long drink. “I didn’t know how else to get rid of her,” I resumed, “so I kidded the life out of her, told her sure, two and three times a week regularly. She got so sore, she couldn’t see straight, didn’t even go to her show—”
Over the rim of my glass I happened to raise my eyes to her; I couldn’t understand, lowered it out of the way in a hurry. The lap and the whole front of the pale-violet satin kimono she had on went deep purple all at once with the puddle of liquor soaking into it. The glass glanced off her kneecap, bounced clear of the chaise longue, and sang out from the floor, miraculously unbroken. But it was her face, her face! A mask of white fright pulled taut from ear to ear, where her prettiness had been only a second ago; then slowly relaxing again, like elastic, into a more recognizable semblance of her. Her eyes had been unbearable for a minute, the pupils rolling insanely upward and disappearing under the upper lids. They came down again and stared hauntedly out at me. And her voice, when she found it, was furry as with an inner strangulation.
“You’ve signed my death warrant!” she rasped.
“Bernice!” I cried in alarm. “What is it? Here, swallow some of this—!” But as I passed my glass toward her, she shot up from where she had been sitting and ran halfway across the room toward the door, then stopped abruptly and looked dazedly all about her, as though not knowing which way to turn. I was terribly frightened myself by now, not knowing what to make of it, thinking she must have either gone temporarily insane or else was undergoing a sudden spasm of violent physical illness. It was awful to see the way she clutched herself through the satin kimono, now on the arms, now under the ribs, as though at a loss what to do next. I caught her in my arms where she stood finally — for she brought to mind a pathetic little trapped animal that wouldn’t let any one near it — and forced almost all the liquor I had left in my glass down her throat. She gagged and retched on it, but it brought her back a little, brought a smarting moisture to her eyes and dimmed that berserk look they’d had in them for a minute or two.
“God, what a fright you gave me!” I said, clinging to her.
“Oh,” she kept moaning, “they’ll get me for it! They’ll get me for it! My time is up, all right! That was the one thing you shouldn’t have said—”
“Wait a minute,” I said, “until I call Tenacity — maybe she can help me with you.”
“No, no, no!” she exclaimed, “don’t let her in here—!”
I led her back to the chaise longue and seated her on it by main force. She clung with one hand to my sleeve, as though afraid I would leave her, and with the other kept pounding me lightly on the chest, distractedly emphasizing what she was saying. “Oh, what am I going to do, Wade? Help me! What am I going to do? They’re going to get me as sure as you’re born! She was the last one you should have told that to — my God, if it had only been Jerry, any one else — but Marion! She’s in thick with the big muck-a-mucks; it’ll get back to them in no time—!”
“But Bernice, darling!” I pleaded. “I was only kidding her along. If it’s not true, what can she do to you, what are you so afraid about—”
“What can’t she do!” she gasped. “One word from her, and — she’s the sweetie of — oh, don’t you understand? What chance have I got! She won’t come up here and try to pull my hair — if that was all there would be to it, I’d gladly lie down flat on my back and let her kick my teeth out. She’ll let one word drop where it’ll do the most good and — do you think they’ll let me explain? I know too much; they won’t take any chances!”
I tried to soothe her by stroking the backs of her hands; she drew them away from me suddenly and cried: “I wish I’d never known you! After I’ve watched my step so carefully all these years, you have to come along — and get me in a spot!”
“It’s as much your fault as mine,” I defended myself. “If I had known what was what, if I had known who I was talking to there on the street! I sat in this very room with you only the day before yesterday,” I reminded her, “and told you it might be a whole lot better if you let me in on what you were up against, gave me some idea. But no, you couldn’t trust me, had to keep everything dark — well, it sure worked out beautiful your way. Maybe next time you’ll have a little more confi—”
“Next time?” she cried, jumping up again. “There isn’t any next time in this for me, don’t you understand! That’s why I’m so cokey over the whole thing! Wait!” she said, running her hand along the side of her face and on up through her hair. “I’ve just got one chance left! If she hasn’t spoken to anybody yet, maybe I can square myself with her. But if she’s already given ’way on me, then there’s nothing left to be done. I’m washed out! Tenacity!” she shouted wildly, “Tenacity! Come in here, damn it!”
Tenacity appeared in the doorway with remarkable abruptness, in fact almost instantaneously, as though she had been listening to the whole tantrum from beginning to end. The scared look on her face was a perfect match for ours.