“You had enough?”
Yes... no... never... never... never... The question came again, again, eternally, and Colby tried to remember the reason for this... Lucy... the thing that had happened to her... the reason he must never, never, never, NEVER submit... but she faded under the mounting pain, faded and vanished, and then there was only the pain and the craving in him to stop it at any cost...
He hadn’t spoken, he told himself, he hadn’t begged for mercy, he hadn’t broken... but the blows had stopped, and he knew he had said the words to stop them, and he could feel tears crawl down his face, cutting like fire as they touched the raw open injuries. He was sitting and Windy was standing looking down on him and Colby couldn’t raise his head. Then, Windy was helping him to his feet and for a sickening instant Colby was aware of a feeling of gratitude toward the son of a bitch and he wished he could die. Then Windy was standing in front of him, saying with a taunting pretense of sporty good-fellowship.
“Up and at ’em again, huh, Vin? Ready for round two! Throw one.” He cocked his fists, waited and grinned.
Colby just stood, dreading the thought of more pain, unable to lift his arms... or his head. He worked up some bloody saliva and forced himself to lift his head and stare at Windy. He was beaten, he told himself, but not intimidated, and he was still man enough to spit in his face... and then he knew he didn’t dare.
“O.K., then, pal. No more stomach for the sport...” Windy thrust out his hand, clasped Colby’s. “So we shake, and no hard feelings. And I’m always open for a return match. But, meantime, let’s get your face cleaned up and have a smoke and a drink. Now we’re calmed down, Vin, fercrissakes, maybe you can tell me why you come charging in here at me like a mad bull when I thought we were friends.”
Before his groggy senses could absorb what he’d said Windy moved away and returned with a double shot of whisky in a water glass.
“This is what you need, Vin,” Windy said with an air of concern.
It hurt his cut mouth but Colby drank it off, and after a few seconds it began to help. Windy was offering him a lighted cigarette and saying:
5
“Pal, you’re about the toughest customer I ever tangled with...”
Colby knew he was being patronized, but it felt better to accept it as a compliment.
“The only hell of it is, Vin, you’re a little rusty, and I’ve kept half-way in training ever since I used to box for Alma Mammy. Look, I want you to see Casey down at the City Club... you know the athletic director, and take some private boxing lessons. The main thing he’ll help you with is to stay cool... never go into a fight mad, Vin... and by the way, what the hell was it that got you riled at me? Hell, I thought you and me hit it off.”
Colby just stared. This son-of-a-gun was positively incredible. Not only was he carefully diminishing the sense of Colby’s humiliation, he was giving an entirely plausible picture of innocence.
“Lucy. She’s why... and you know it damned well!”
Windy’s eyes widened. “Lucy? What did I ever do to make her sic you on me...” He paused, narrowed his eyes. “Vin, you don’t mean you think I... I made a pass... at Lucy? At your wife... at the wife of my closest colleague and friend. No, you can’t mean that.”
Colby stared at him, feeling some of his certainty ebb.
“I do mean it. You raped her...” The simple word drove him like a fool and he smashed out at Windy’s arrogant face. He missed, stumbled... and Windy’s hands helped him regain balance.
“Please, Vin... don’t hate me, don’t be my enemy. This is a dreadful misunderstanding, if she thinks that... Lucy’s a wonderful girl, Vin, we all know that, but so romantic, and dramatic... and, don’t get sore again... and foolish. She goes farther than she realizes sometimes... I poked a guy’s mouth shut for him not two weeks ago, Vin, because she claimed... Well, it was a lie... that girl adores you, and she’d never let you down...”
“She’s bruised, hurt... she was raped...”
“We’re not going to be enemies, Vin. A woman is not going to come between us.” Windy clenched his fist. “I say she’s lying to you if she accuses me.” This fist, he was saying, says that she is the liar. “I want to be your friend, not your enemy, Vin.”
And I, Colby told himself, prefer to believe him. Because he is stronger. Colby turned brokenly and walked into Windy’s bedroom, thinking that he had found the way out. He had only to obey Windy and he wouldn’t get hurt any more. If he didn’t quite fully believe him now, he would convince himself in time. If Lucy had lied and betrayed him he could forgive her, and he would, in addition to winning Windy’s goodwill, managed also to keep his precious jewel. He wandered as though dazed, purposeless. Windy watched from a distance, his eyes wary. When Colby neared the bureau Windy moved swiftly toward him, and Colby knew he was right. Windy still kept his gun in that top bureau drawer.
Windy came flying and his hand dove into the opening drawer with Colby’s.
Colby got the gun. He rammed it into Windy’s gut and turned his bloodied face to Windy.
“You’re done!” he said. “You’re done!”
“Wait... use your head, Vin...”
“I know. If I kill you there’s a dead man’s statement waiting to smear Lucy and convict me. I read it. But I don’t give a damn, a damn, not now...”
“Please. Think! You can’t, you can’t shoot me down in cold blood... Vin, I had you beat; I could have come and got this gun and murdered you. You can’t murder either. Think! I’ll resign... leave town... Vin, are you hearing me?”
“You raped her. You smeared her. You called her a liar. You wanted to cow me into hating her, into living like a whipped cur... I’d rather die... but not before you do... Ask your God for mercy, not me!”
“I was drunk! I didn’t mean to, didn’t want to... so help me God I’d give my arm to wipe it out... Give me a chance to go, to run, run like the whipped cur, out of town... give me a chance... That paper I wrote. I’ll give you the original. Let me get it. We’ll burn it. As a sign of my intentions, the truth of them...”
He wavered. “Don’t stall...”
“It frees you to kill me. It puts me helpless at your mercy. It shows what I think of your integrity, your honor. Vin, for God’s sake...”
“Where is it...”
“Lockbox. Closet shelf.”
“Get it down. Move very carefully, Windy.”
“Yes, yes... I’m no fool...”
Minutes later the lockbox was down and open. Colby scanned the statement after Windy took it from its sealed envelope. It was the one Lucy had a copy of. Colby stared silently into Windy’s eyes, and asked:
“No other copies.”
“None.”
They went to the bathroom, wadded each sheet of paper and set it afire. Watching the fire and the shaky anxiety on Windy’s face Colby began to chill at the thought of killing in cold blood. Windy’s stall for time had worked. Something of his rage and hate had weakened under the look of Windy’s terror. It was not impossible to believe he did feel remorse... Gah! He began to despise himself for weakness. Windy was being either very clever or intensely sincere at the moment... too wise to say a word. He was letting Colby work it out in his own mind, letting him too realize the awesomeness of death.