The next Sunday visit was a whole month away and I longed for it to come sooner. But after my second visit the bus fare had nearly eaten up all my spending money and I knew that I couldn't ask my parents for more. The third time Xiongjun invited me to his home I had to make an excuse. "I don't feel well, I can't go."
He was very disappointed and went without me.
The next month I tried to make another excuse.
"Are you still my friend?" he asked.
"Yes, of course."
"Don't you like my family?"
"Don't be silly, of course I like your family." I felt dreadful not telling him the truth.
"Are you embarrassed by my mother's praises of you?" he persisted.
"No, you have a wonderful mother!"
"Then why don't you come? When you don't come, they think we've had a fight and that you don't like me any more. I had to defend myself! Please come, everyone is looking forward to seeing you again."
Tears welled in my eyes. I looked away. "I can't afford the bus fare. I only have eight yuan for the entire year. I can't ask my family for any more."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier! I have enough money for both of our bus fares. My family will kill me if they find out that you couldn't come because I had the money and didn't pay for you!
Come on, the bus will be full if we don't hurry."
We left around nine o'clock and the queues at the bus stop were so long that by the time we arrived at Xiongjun's home it was nearly noon. But, as before, my day with the Chongs was filled with happiness and affection. "The dumplings aren't the same without Cunxin's involvement," Xiongjun's mother said at lunchtime.
Before we left that day, Xiongjun's mother handed me two yuan. "For your next bus fare. Make sure you leave earlier next time or I'll have no one to help me make the dumplings," she said.
At first I refused to take the money, but she insisted. "This is the best two yuan I have ever spent. Take it!"
Along with the Bandit, Xiongjun became one of my closest friends. I formed a strong relationship with each and every one of the Chong family. Everything the Chongs made for Xiongjun, I also received a share of, and I continued to visit them regularly throughout the next few years. They unofficially became my adopted family.
I went home to my own family in Qingdao for the Chinese New Year holiday that year, and this time I went with much improved grades. Chinese New Year had always been my favourite time of the year, but now it was even more special because it was my one chance to see my family and friends once more. My family could never visit me in Beijing. Just one return train ticket was equal to half my dia's salary for a whole month.
I brought back some Beijing sweets and a bag of jasmine tea from the Chongs as gifts to my family, and the marbles were an enormous hit among my brothers and friends. "They are the most beautiful marbles I've ever seen!" Jing Tring cried with excitement. He flew outside and proudly showed them to all his friends. He even placed them under his pillow that night.
My family shared the sweets and tea with some of their relatives and friends and they were deeply touched by the Chongs' generosity. In the end they had only enough tea left for one pot to have themselves, on the eve of Chinese New Year. My niang declared that this was the best tea they had ever had.
My holiday month at home went by too fast. My parents and brothers showered me with love and affection. Their lives hadn't changed much from the year before but I did notice some friction between my second brother Cunyuan and my parents. A few days before I was to leave for Beijing, my parents made Cunyuan write a thank you letter to the Chongs to express their appreciation for looking after me. Cunyuan had to rewrite it several times because my parents weren't satisfied with the words he used. Two nights before my departure, just as our niang sat on the kang after dinner, Cunyuan read his latest version.
"And if you don't like it, write it yourself!" he said, annoyed.
"It's better than the last one," my niang said, "but it's still not deep enough. Can't you say something like, `We are so touched by your generosity that we could have kowtowed for you if you were here`, but without actually saying that?"
"Why don't you cut your heart out and send it with Cunxin to show them?" Cunyuan was growing angry.
"I would if someone else could wipe your bottoms for you when I'm not here any more!" she replied.
"If you really want to show the Chongs your heart, why don't you give Cunxin to them, like you did Cunmao?"
"Watch your tongue!" Our niang gave him a stern look.
"You would give us all away before Cunxin. He is our family's crown jewel," Cunyuan continued.
"You are all my treasures," our niang said. "I love each one of you. I would rather die than give any of you away!"
"Hnnng!" Cunyuan was sounding bitter, disgruntled.
"Hnnng what? Have I done any less for you?" our niang asked him.
"Yes! You let your other sons go and pursue their futures! Except me! I can't even marry the person I love!" Cunyuan was shouting now. "Why should I be kept at home? Why can't you let me go to Tibet?"
"Haven't we explained to you before? We need you here," our dia waded into the conversation.
Cunyuan looked at our dia and hesitated. Our dia's words were indisputable in our family. They represented a certain kind of finality.
But Cunyuan was too emotional and wouldn't let it go. "So, I'm the one being sacrificed! Why don't you just say that I'm the least important of all your sons!"
"Can you repeat what you've just said?" my dia asked calmly. I could tell he was trying hard to contain his rage.
"I said…"
Whack! Dia reached over and slapped Cunyuan on his face with such enormous force that I feared his jaw might break.
"I dare you to repeat such ungrateful things about your niang!" Our dia then leapt off the kang and charged at my second brother.
"Stop it! Stop it!" Our niang stood between them. Cunyuan was holding his face, stunned. A moment later he came to his senses and fled.
Our dia was still raging with anger. "I can't believe we have such an ungrateful son!" Niang was sobbing by this point. "What have I done wrong with him? What have I done wrong?"
We sat there in shock, soaked with sadness. I was deeply upset by Cunyuan's accusations against our niang. I couldn't believe he was so angry. I couldn't understand why. But I did feel sorry for him. I had heard about the central government wanting more young men to go to Tibet and Big Brother Cuncia had suggested to our parents that Cunyuan should go. I'd thought the whole issue had been resolved by now.
My niang was upset and teary all through the next day.
"How long has this been going on?" I asked her when the two of us were left alone.
"Ever since your big brother wrote from Tibet a few months ago," she replied.
"Why don't you let him go?" I asked again.
"He has just started working. We need his income for us all to survive. How can we lose him so soon after we have lost your big brother to Tibet? We just can't afford to! The best thing for him would be to marry that nice, steady girl your big aunt introduced him to," she sighed.
"Couldn't he send money back from Tibet?" I asked.
"Have we seen a single fen from your big brother in Tibet? He can't even feed himself from what the government gives him!"
We both fell into silence. Now I understood.
"You are the luckiest person with enough food to fill your stomach," my niang continued, "and now the Chong family likes you!" Then she became more serious. "Never forget where you come from," she said. "Work hard and make a life of your own. Don't look back! There is nothing here except starvation and struggle!"