“No, he understands, better than you can ever know,” I said.
Ed returned. “It all looks good enough to eat,” he said.
Mother turned to him, and after a moment’s hesitation, flung her arms around his neck.
“Ed. Thank you! From the bottom of my heart, thank you,” she said, and I just smiled at Ed’s baffled expression.
“Hey, Ma’am, she has done as much for me as I have ever done for her.”
Mother smiled, and kissed his cheek. “Och, my name’s Jeanette, so none of this poncey ma’am stuff. Welcome to Scotland; welcome to our home! I never thought I would see this happen, and I am just overwhelmed, so I am so sorry,” she said, and Ed simply smiled.
“You don’t have to apologise ma... Jeanette; believe me, I understand,” he said, and Mum just smiled her gratitude,
“You both must be so tired. It’s such a long flight, and you lose some hours coming this way,” she said.
“We’re fine, Mummy, we’ve rested and had a shower. Will met us and brought Ed, while I picked up my bike.”
“Oh, Gilly! You haven’t still got that beastly thing?” Mum said.
“Yes, but I think I will have to sell it,” I said.
“Thank God for that,” she replied.
“But I’ll get another one when we get to America,” I said, just to be naughty.
‘Gigi, that was bad.’
‘I know, but she has to know I am my own woman.’
‘You ain’t, you’re mine.’
‘Poo to you, buster.’
I had to burst out laughing at Ed, but mother thought I was laughing at her, so she looked a little hurt.
We went into the kitchen and carried the food through to the dining room. Alex appeared with his wife Helen, with their sons David (seventeen) and Bruce (fifteen). The eight of us sat down to one of mother’s enormous pies. Dad offered Ed a beer. Ed looked at me, so I shook my head slightly, so he frowned.
‘What?’
‘You may not like Dad’s beer, it’s bitter.’
‘I’ve had English bitter before.’
‘Did you like it?’
‘It’s okay. Beer is beer.’
‘Fine, I don’t. But I like the stuff we had in the states.’
Smiling, Ed accepted a beer, so Dad went and brought back a tankard full of a dark pint of bitter.
“Anything for you, Gillian?” he asked.
“Just water, Dad, thanks.” I said.
‘Goody-goody,’ Ed thought at me.
I had to laugh, so everyone stared at me.
‘Sh!’
‘I want to screw you, very slowly and very hard.’
‘You are a beastly man. Go away!’
Ed laughed, receiving some stares as well. Mother dished up, and the serious business of eating got under way. It was a pleasant meal, but somewhat strained. Helen tried to get her sons to stop staring at me.
“But I don’t remember Aunt Gillian looking like that before,” Bruce said.
‘That’s what you get for being fucked by a Marine.’
‘Go away; I hate you!’
‘No you don’t, you just want my body.’
‘Yes, but you can leave your brain behind.’
‘I love you, Gigi.’
‘Me too, hunk.’
I had to go through the whole story again, so the boys started to look at Ed with awe in their eyes. So I embellished his part slightly.
‘Gilly, stop making things up. I am embarrassed enough, without you making me out to be Superman.’
‘You are my Superman.’
‘That makes you my lump of Kryptonite.’
I laughed again, for no apparent reason, and Dad was looking worried, which made me get the giggles more.
Ed produced his lump of knee parts, which caused much oohs and ahs from around the table. I took the opportunity to clear the table, and brought out our apple pie. Mother looked at me very strangely, so when I told her we had made it together, she went a little pale.
Finally, with hunger sated, we cleared the table. Dad took Ed to look round the farm, leaving me alone with Mum, so I brought out a few things I had brought as presents. There was a little bowl made by the Islanders, with a small clay figure. I particularly loved the length of matting that had been woven from palm fronds and coloured with local earth pigmentation. It was a screen, so could also be used as a mat or a fan. It depicted Ed rescuing Bose from the tree, and Gorran from the swirling waters. And lastly, there was a picture of us dancing. Kali had painted the pictures and they were very good. The only problem, it showed six girls dancing in the scene, and all were naked. There was one white girl, while five were dark brown. It was obvious that the white one was me.
“So, where were your clothes?” Mum asked, predictably.
“We didn’t wear them. One, it was too hot, and two, I didn’t want to.”
“What really happened?”
“How do you mean?”
“Gillian, I knew you so well. I can see you have changed so much. So what really happened to you out there?” she asked, holding one of my hands.
“I have been set free, Ma. The things that made me what I was have gone”
“Yes, I can see that, but how?”
“I don’t know, Ma. You see, Ed and I drifted together before we ever got to the island. He and I were both trapped by different things. Whatever happened on the island freed us both, uniting us in that freedom. I don’t understand how, but I am now the person I should always have been.”
“You look so well, and you really are so beautiful.”
“I feel wonderful. None of it makes any sense, but I am really happy for the first time in my life because I feel complete,” I said. She reached out and stroked my face with her hand.
“My sadness is that it has taken you so long,” she said.
“Don’t be sad, I’m not. We will still try to produce several other grandchildren for you,” I said with a smile, watching as the tears started rolling down her cheeks. I held her and waited for her to stop crying.
“I don’t think I have ever seen you in a dress,” she said. “It is a very pretty one, where did you get it?”
“In Florida as soon as I got back from the island. I’ve even had my ears pierced.”
“I had noticed.”
“Look, this is the ring Ed gave me for our engagement,” I said, showing her my ring.
“By the sounds of things, this marriage is merely a formality,” she said, slightly disapprovingly.
“I want everything done properly. As far as the islanders are concerned we are man and wife. But that means nothing here or in the States. So we will do things properly, besides, you have always wanted me to be married in the local church.”
“What I want in irrelevant. Besides, what I have always wanted was for you to be happy.”
“No it isn’t, Ma. It is very important, and the main reason why we are here. And I have never been unhappy, not really. I wasn’t as fulfilled or content with myself, but I was never unhappy. You and Dad gave me so much love, and growing up here was great. I was just never the girl you wanted, and never the person I felt I should have been. I am now.”
She started to cry again, so I had to hold her.
“What are you doing about a dress?” she asked.
“I thought we could go and find one,” I said, and she cheered up enormously.
“We haven’t much time; the wedding is only a week and a half away.”
“I’m sorry, but Ed couldn’t get any more leave.”
“It should be fine. Helen and Susan will help with the food, and the ladies from the church have agreed to do the flowers. How many Americans are coming over?”