“I like the Queen. Why are you leaving?”
“I told you.” He blew out a breath and stared over the horse’s neck. “The press of business calls me away, and even if I were having second thoughts, and leaving was the last thing I wanted to do, your uncles need me to see to some things for them rather urgently. It’s best if I go.”
Things to see to must be half of what adulthood was about. Fiona didn’t think such a life was going to be much fun. Uncle Ian’s face wore the same expression when he talked about Marrying Won’t Be So Bad. “You should not lie. Ma will skelp your bum.”
“Would that it were so simple.” He stared at his empty saddle, his eyes bleak. Uncle Gil looked like that when he stared at Miss Genie.
“I am forbidden to tell the truth by my own honor and by vows explicitly made to one whose requests I could not refuse.” He muttered the last as he checked the horse’s girth, which meant soon he’d lead the horse out to the mounting block.
“That is silly. Nobody is forbidden to tell the truth. It says to tell the truth in the Bible.”
“It also says ‘let the women keep silent in the church,’ but I doubt you do. Put my stirrup down on that side, if you please.”
Fiona put Spats on her shoulder and pulled the stirrup down, then ran the buckle up under the saddle flap. “If you are forbidden to tell the truth, and you want to tell the truth, then you must simply get permission first. Uncle Ian says you have to neg-o-ti-ate.”
On the other side of the horse, Mr. Daniels peered over at her. “Get permission?”
“To tell the truth. You ask nicely, and give at least three reasons, and it doesn’t hurt if everybody’s in a good mood when you ask.”
“I should get permission…” He came around the horse and scooped Fiona up against his hip, like Uncle Ian used to before she got so big. Spats hopped down, and the horse twitched an ear.
“You are a brilliant child. You’re going to grow up to be as lovely as your mother, and I’m going to be there to see it—I hope.” He didn’t look nearly so bleak now. He looked fierce.
“I hope so too. May I have a pony if you are?”
“Not unless your mother says it’s acceptable to her. I have to leave now, Fiona, but I will be back in time for the ball.”
He hugged her, good and tight, and while he led his horse out to the mounting block, Fiona ensconced Spats on her shoulder again. She waved Mr. Daniels on his way in the predawn light, and watched as he cantered off. At the bottom of the drive, he turned the horse not toward the train station in Ballater, but to the west, toward Balmoral.
Which was odd.
***
Mary Fran hated the summer ball. Not the planning and organizing of it, not seeing her brothers in all their Highland finery, not seeing how excited Fee got as the day drew closer.
She hated the ball itself—had taken all balls, dances, and assemblies into dislike the night Fee was conceived, and saw no reason to change her opinion at this late date.
“You are glowering, my lady. Have I done something to offend?” Augusta Merrick posed the question in the soft, polite voice Mary Fran would never be able to imitate.
“All this nonsense offends,” Mary Fran said, glancing around the ballroom. “We won’t have a flower left in the garden, and the ice alone will beggar us.”
“He’ll come back, Mary Fran.” The same soft voice, but with a hint of something under it. “Matthew is honorable. If he told Ian and Fee he’d be back, he will be.”
“I’m that obvious?”
“You’re that in love.”
Mary Fran peered over at the Englishwoman who was arranging flowers for a small centerpiece. Augusta had suggested keeping most of the centerpieces low, and therefore simple and inexpensive. She’d also suggested including heather here and there to keep the air fresh and the tenor of the gathering Scottish.
“You wouldn’t begrudge me your cousin’s affections?” Mary Fran could not have asked that question of Matthew’s sisters. For some reason, they took less notice of him than Miss Augusta did.
“Let’s take a break,” Augusta said. “And no, we will not ring for tea.”
She linked her arm through Mary Fran’s and led the way out to the terraces, where footmen were setting up torches and tables while maids scurried in all directions. Mary Fran drew out her pocket flask when she and Augusta got to the first bench behind the privet hedge.
“A medicinal nip is in order.” Mary Fran passed the little leather-covered flask to her guest, who did not even pause to wipe the lip before taking a sip.
“Powerful medicine.”
“Each time we put on one of these fancy-dress affairs, I hate it a little more.”
“Matthew will lead you out, and then you won’t hate it so much ever again.”
“You don’t mind that we’ve become… involved? Nobody else seems to have noticed, not even your aunt Julia, whom I would think had some things in common with Matthew.”
“Grief?” Augusta passed the flask back, but Mary Fran studied it rather than take a drink.
“He loved that wife of his. He simply didn’t realize it until it was too late.” Mary Fran deduced that some of what afflicted Matthew was guilt, and one had to feel some love if guilt found a way to take root.
August Merrick didn’t seem at all discomfited by the topic. “I met Lydia only at the wedding. She was a plain little sparrow trying to make us think she was besotted with her dashing husband. The Queen had a hand in the matchmaking, from what Genie said, but I worried for the couple.”
“He said…” Was it violating confidences to repeat words spoken in private? “He said she saved his life, ordering him moved from the hospital, fetching an Arab doctor to tend him, selling her jewelry to see him properly fed and cared for.”
“And then she fell ill, and there was nothing Matthew could do. Hester has told me a little of it, but Matthew doesn’t speak of the past.”
He does too. To me he speaks of it, though not honestly enough.
“What gave us away?” Mary Fran took a sip, but a small one.
Augusta’s smile was a little smug and a little sad. “You look at Matthew the way I look at Ian.”
Mary Fran absorbed that truth, nodded, and passed her the flask. “Will you come with me to Balmoral after the shoot? Her Majesty won’t be joining us for the dress ball, but she’s summoned me to relay all the details afterward. His Highness might pop over for the shoot on Saturday.”
“You visit back and forth as if they were any other neighbors?”
Mary Fran accepted the flask back. “We do. Fee visits the princesses often, and Ian and the Prince Consort are quite friendly. This time, though, Her Majesty has sent a formal summons.”
“I suppose you’d best heed it, then.”
***
The bloody damned trains and the bloody damned coaches and the bloody damned lame livery horses conspired to make Matthew bloody damned late to the ball. The idea that he might disappoint Mary Fran made him positively frantic, so frantic he barged in on the dinner gathering in all his riding attire and dirt.
And not a moment too soon. Balfour announced Genie’s engagement, and good wishes were offered all around. By virtue of careful orchestration on the earl’s part, Altsax was hustled off to the library with the MacGregor family surrounding him, while the guests called toasts from all sides to the prospective bride and groom.
Amid all the toasting and familial machinations following Balfour’s announcement, Matthew had not one moment with Mary Fran, not even as they joined the family for the celebratory dram in the library.
“We’ll return to the ballroom,” Matthew said, taking Mary Fran’s hand at an opportune moment. “Somebody needs to get the dancing started, and Mary Fran is the hostess.”