“Did you get my voice mail?” I asked.
Nana glanced absently at the hotel phone, with its flashing red message light.
“I guess not,” I said with a shrug.
She put a hand on my forearm. “Oh, Alex. Christine was here at the hotel. She came, and she took Little Alex back to Seattle. He's gone.”
My brain had a quick does-not-compute moment. Christine wasn't due to pick Alex up for another two days. She currently had custody of our son, but the trip to Disneyland had been talked out and agreed to. She even said it was a good idea.
I sat down hard on the edge of the couch. “I don't understand. What do you mean, she took Alex home? What's going on? Tell me everything.”
Nana shoved her crocheting into a tapestry bag at her side. "I was so mad, I could've spit.
She didn't seem like herself at all. She was shouting, Alex. She shouted at me, even at Janelle."
“What was she doing here, anyway? She wasn't supposed to ”She came down early That's the worst part. Alex, I think she was coming to spend some quality time with you and Little Alex. With all of us. And then when she found out you were working, she completely changed. Turned into an angry hornet just like that. There was nothing I could say to her I never saw anyone so angry so changed."
It was all coming too fast, and I struggled with a barrage of feelings. Most of all, I realized, I hadn't even gotten to say good-bye to my son, and now he was gone again.
“What about Alex? How was he?”
“He was confused, and seemed sad, the poor little boy He asked for you when his mother took him away He said you promised him this would be a vacation. He'd so looked forward to it. We all did. You know that, Alex.”
My heart clenched, and I saw Alex's face in my mind. It felt as though he was getting farther and farther from me, as if a piece of my life was slipping away “How were Jannie and Damon about it?” I asked then. Nana sighed heavily “They were brave soldiers, but Jannie cried herself to sleep tonight. I think Damon did, too. He hides it better. Poor things, they just moped around most of the night.”
We sat together on the sofa for a long, silent moment. I didn't know what to say “I'm sorry I wasn't here today,” I finally told Nana. “I know that doesn't mean much.”
She took my chin in her hand and stared into my eyes. Here it comes. Batten down the hatches.
“You're a good man, Alex. And you're a good father. Don't you forget that, especially now You just. . . you have a very difficult job.”
A few minutes later, I slipped into the room where jannie and Damon were sleeping. The way they lay on the covers, they looked like little kids again. I liked the visual effect, and I stood there, just watching them. Nothing ever healed me the way these two did. My babies, no matter how old you are.
Jannie slept at the edge of her bed with the comforter in a wad off to the side. I went over and covered her up.
“Dad?” Damon's whisper from behind caught me off guard. “That you?”
“What's up, Day?” I sat down on the edge of his bed and rubbed his back. I'd been doing it since he was an infant, and wouldn't stop until he made me.
“You have to work tomorrow?” he asked. "Is it tomorrow already?
There was no malice in his voice. He was too good a per son for that. If I was a pretty good father, Damon was a great son.
“No,” I told him. “Not tomorrow. We're on vacation, re- member?”
Mary, Mary
Chapter 2 1
FOR THE SECOND day in a row, I got a disturbing wake-up call.
This one was from Fred Van Allsburg, the assistant direc tor in charge of the FBI'S Los Angeles office. I had seen the name on organizational charts, but we'd never actually met or even spoken. Still, he treated me with a kind of instant familiarity over the phone.
“Alex! How are you enjoying the vacation?” he asked within seconds of saying hello.
Did everyone know my business? “Fine, thanks,” I answered. “What can I do for you?”
“Listen, thanks very much for making yourself available on Mary Smith yesterday. We've got a good jump on this case, and what feels like a relatively functional relationship with LAPD. ”Listen, I'll cut right to the chase. We'd like you to represent us for the rest of the investigation out here. It's big, and it's important to us. And, obviously, to the director.
This case is going to be huge, unfortunately"
I thought of a line from The Godfather Part III - “just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”
Not this time, though. I hadn't slept much, but I did wake with a clear sense of what this day was going to be about - and it had absolutely nothing to do with Mary Smith, or any other heinous murder investigation.
“I'm going to have to give my regrets on this one. I've got family commitments that I cannot turn my back on.”
“Yes, I understand,” he said, too quickly to have meant it. “But maybe we could pry you away for just a while. A few hours in the day”
“I'm sorry you can't. Not right now”
Van Allsburg sighed heavily on the other end of the line. When he spoke again, his tone was more measured. I don't know if I was reading him right, but I got a hint of condescension, too. “Do you know what we're dealing with here? Alex, have you seen the news this morning?”
“I'm trying to stay away from the news for a few days. Remember, I'm on vacation. I need a vacation. I just came off the Wolf.”
“Alex, listen, we both know this isn't over. People are dying here. Important people.”
Important people? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Also, I'm not sure if he was conscious of it, but he seemed to start every other sentence with my name. I sort of understood the position he was in, the pressure, but I was going to hold firm this time.
“I'm sorry” I told him. “The answer is no.”
“Alex, I'd prefer to keep this between you and me. There's no reason to go up to Ron Burns, is there?”
“No, there isn't,” I told Van Allsburg.
“Good-,” he started in, but I cut him off.
“Because I'm turning off my pager right now.”
Mary, Mary
Chapter 22
I'LL ADMIT, when I hung up the phone, my pulse was racing a little, but I felt relieved as well. I thought that Ron Burns would probably back me up on this, but you know what? I didn't even care.
An hour later I was dressed and ready to go be a tourist. “Who wants to have breakfast with Goofy?” I called out.
The hotel offered “character breakfasts,” and it seemed like a good way to channel our energies right back into vacation mode. A little corny for sure, but sometimes corny is good, real good, keeps everything in perspective.
Jannie and Damon came into the suite's living room, both of them looking a little wary I held out two fists, fingers up.
“Each of you pick a hand,” I said.
“Daddy, we're not babies anymore,” Jannie said. “I'm eleven. Have you noticed?” I put on a shocked expression. “You're not?” It brought out the kind of laughter I was looking for.
“This is serious business,” I told them. “I'm not kidding. Now, pick a hand. Please.”
“VThat is it?” Damon asked.
But I kept mute.
Jannie finally tapped my left hand, and then Damon shrugged and pointed to the right.
“Good choice.” I turned it over and unclenched my fingers. Both kids leaned in for a closer look.