"Seven ones are seven, seven twos are thirty-three, seven threes are forty-five—" he began one day. And when he found he was wrong he threw the book away in disgust and buried his head in his cloak.
"It's no good, it's no good! I shall never be wise!" he cried in despair.
Then, because he could not go on weeping for ever, he wiped his eyes and leant back in his golden chair. And as he did that he gave a little start of surprise. For a stranger had pushed past the sentry at the gate and was walking up the path that led to the Castle.
"Hullo," said the King, "who are you?" For he had no memory for faces.
"Well, if it comes to that," replied the Stranger, "Who are you?"
"I'm the King of the Castle," said the King, picking up the bent sceptre and trying to look important.
"And I'm the Dirty Rascal," was the reply.
The King opened his eyes wide with astonishment.
"Are you really, though? That's interesting! I'm very pleased to meet you. Do you know seven times seven?"
"No. Why should I?"
At that the King gave a great cry of delight and, running down the steps, embraced the Stranger.
"At last, at last!" cried the King, "I have found a friend. You shall live with me! What is mine shall be yours! We shall spend our lives together!"
"But, Ethelbert," protested the Queen, "this is only a Common Person. You cannot have him here."
"Your Majesty," said the Lord High Chancellor, sternly, "IT WOULD NOT DO."
But for once the King defied him.
"It will do very nicely!" he said royally. "Who is King here — you or I?" "Well, of course, in a manner of speaking, you are, as it were, Your Majesty, but—"
"Very well. Put this man in cap and bells and he can be my Fool!"
"Fool!" cried the Queen, wringing her hands. "Do we need any more of these?"
But the King did not answer. He flung his arm round the Stranger's neck and the two went dancing to the Castle door.
"You first!" said the King politely.
"No, you!" said the Stranger.
"Both together, then!" said the King generously, and they went in side by side.
And from that day the King made no attempt to learn his lessons. He made a pile of all his books and burnt them in the courtyard while he and his new friend danced round it singing—
"I'm the King of the Castle,
And you're the Dirty Rascal!"
"Is that the only song you can sing?" asked the Fool one day.
"Yes, I'm afraid it is!" said the King, rather sadly. "Do you know any others?"
"Oh, dear, yes!" said the Fool. And he sang sweetly.
"Bright, bright
Bee in your flight,
Drop down some Honey
For Supper tonight!"
and
"Sweet and low, over the Snow,
The lolloping, scalloping Lobsters go.
Did you know?"
and
"Boys and Girls, come out to play
Over the Hills and Far Away,
The Sheep's in the Meadow, the Cow's in the Stall,
And down will come Baby, Cradle and All!"
"Lovely!" cried the King, clapping his hands. "Now, listen! I've just thought of one myself! It goes like this—
"All dogs — Tiddle-de-um!
Hate frogs — Tiddle-di-do!"
"H'm," said the Fool. "Not bad!"
"Wait a minute!" said the King. "I've thought of another! And I think it's a better one. Listen, carefully!"
And he sang—
"Pluck me a Flower,
And catch me a Star,
And braize them in Butter
And Treacle and Tar.
Tra-la!
How delicious they are!"
"Bravo!" cried the Fool. "Let's sing it together!"
And he and the King went dancing through the Castle chanting the King's two songs, one after the other, to a very special tune.
And when they were tired of singing they fell together in a heap in the main corridor and there went to sleep.
"He gets worse and worse!" said the Queen to the Lord High Chancellor, "What are we to do?"
"I have just heard," replied the Lord High Chancellor, "that the wisest man in the kingdom, the Chief of all the Professors, is coming to-morrow. Perhaps he will help us!"
And the next day the Chief Professor arrived, walking smartly up the path to the Castle carrying a little black bag. It was raining slightly but the whole court had gathered at the top of the steps to welcome him.
"Has he got his wisdom in that little bag, do you think?" whispered the King. But the Fool, who was playing knuckle-bones beside the throne, only smiled and went on tossing.
"Now, if Your Majesty pleases," said the Chief Professor, in a business-like voice, "let us take Arithmetic first. Can Your Majesty answer this? If two Men and a Boy were wheeling a Barrow over a Clover-field in the middle of February, how many Legs would they have between them?"
The King gazed at him for a moment, rubbing his sceptre against his cheek.
The Fool tossed a knuckle-bone and caught it neatly on the back of his wrist.
"Does it matter?" said the King, smiling pleasantly.
The Chief Professor started violently and looked at the King in astonishment.
"As a matter of fact," he said quietly, "it doesn't. But I will ask your Majesty another question. How deep is the sea?"
"Deep enough to sail a ship on."
Again the Chief Professor started and his long beard quivered. He was smiling.
"What is the difference, Majesty, between a star and a stone, a bird and a man?"
"No difference at all, Professor. A stone is a star that shines not. A man is a bird without wings."
The Chief Professor drew nearer, and gazed wonderingly at the King.
"What is the best thing in the world?" he asked quietly.
"Doing nothing," answered the King, waving his bent sceptre.
"Oh, dear, oh dear!" wailed the Queen. "THIS IS DREADFUL!"
"How deep is the sea?"
"Tch! Tch! Tch!" said the Lord High Chancellor.
But the Chief Professor ran up the steps and stood by the King's throne.
"Who taught you these things, Majesty?" he demanded.
The King pointed with his sceptre to the Fool, who was throwing up his knuckle-bones.
"Him," said the King, ungrammatically.
The Chief Professor raised his bushy eyebrows. The Fool looked up at him and smiled. He tossed a knuckle-bone and the Professor, bending forward, caught it on the back of his hand.
"Ha!" he cried. "I know you! Even in that cap and bells, I know the Dirty Rascal!"
"Ha, ha!" laughed the Fool.
"What else did he teach you, Majesty?" The Chief Professor turned again to the King.
"To sing," answered the King.
And he stood up and sang—
"A black and white Cow
Sat up in a Tree
And if I were she
Then I shouldn't be me!"
"Very true," said the Chief Professor. "What else?"
The King sang again, in a pleasant, quavering voice—
"The Earth spins round
Without a tilt
So that the Sea
Shall not be spilt."
"So it does," remarked the Chief Professor. "Any more?"
"Oh gracious, yes!" said the King, delighted at his success. "There's this one—