Her hand fists in my sweatshirt as she hugs me tightly, crying on my shoulder. “I love you, Maddy.”
“I know, little sister. I love you too.” When I pull away, Adrian has walked partway down the hall, waiting, without looking at us. “He needs you. Go to him. I… I told him some things I should have told you a long time ago and I’m sorry for that.”
Laney nods. “Go, find Bee.”
“Mom…”
“Is gone. You’re still here. I can handle this. For once you need to let me take care of something. I want you to go.”
Once more I hug her. “Thank you.” And then I do exactly what she said. I go to find Bee.
* * *
As soon as I get back to Brenton, I go straight to Bee’s house. Her car isn’t there but somehow I knew it wouldn’t be. Still I ring the doorbell a few times before going to Masquerade.
It feels fucked up using my key to get in without her being here but I do it anyway. Wherever she is and whatever she’s dealing with, I want her to know she doesn’t have to do it alone anymore. Finding her—going to her—is the only way to do that.
I look through the stockroom, the back room, any and everywhere I can think of that might tell me something about where she might have gone. I don’t even know her last name or where her parents live. I love this girl and I want to know everything about her—to fight for her and with her until we know every part of each other.
Each place I look and each time I come up empty I feel more like a failure. I told her to leave for being exactly how she told me to be, how I’ve always been, and now I can’t get to her either.
Dropping into the chair at her desk, my leg hits the bottom left drawer. The one she always keeps locked. It would be locked right now if it wasn’t for the corner of a folder, sticking out, holding it open. That little voice in my head tells me it’s wrong to open it. Part of her secrets are in there but damn it, is it wrong if it’s done out of love? I don’t really know. I’ve never felt it before and damned if I don’t want to try and keep on feeling it, so I rip the drawer open.
Without hesitating, I pull one of the folders out and open it. Newspaper articles are stuffed inside. One after another, I pull them out, each of the headlines making ice slither through my veins.
LOCAL GIRL KIDNAPPED
GONE WITHOUT A TRACE
AFTER YEARS PARENTS STILL FIGHTING THE ODDS TO FIND MISSING GIRL
MIRACLE! NINE YEARS LATER, MISSING GIRL BACK HOME
It keeps going on and fucking on. Trials and sentences and interviews with her family. Leila, mixed with Coral, but all really about Bee. The girl with the tattoo of the twins because she doesn’t know who she is. Who the fuck would?
The more I read, the more my stomach constricts. There aren’t a lot of details about it. Still, she was kidnapped. She was taken from her family only to discover the truth nine years later.
Tossing them on the desk, I bury my face in my hands, my eyes still drawn to the papers in front of me. It doesn’t make sense—why she thought she couldn’t share this with me. Then, whose ghosts really make sense to someone else? You have to live it to understand it no matter how much people might think otherwise.
Scanning the top newspaper article again, my eyes stop on the word Kansas. I power up her laptop, hoping I can find more information online. I don’t know how in the hell I expect that to help me find her but it’s the only thing I can think of to do.
Kidnappings with the word Kansas, her name and Kansas. I keep looking, my eyes burning from lack of sleep, but I’m determined to do this one thing right. To do it for her.
Scrolling down through the links, my eyes stop when they come to a picture of a sunflower. The same flower she has tattooed on her right calf.
One click tells me why she has it—the Kansas state flower.
Pushing to my feet, I grab the keys off the desk and I’m gone.
Chapter Twenty-Nine ~Bee~
I sit on one side of the clear glass, waiting. My leg’s bouncing and my heart’s jumping and I’ve gagged three times, so close to vomiting I’m still not sure I can hold it back.
But I’m here.
I’m not leaving.
My body goes numb when the door opens and they walk her in.
Melody.
That simply, my heart rate slows, happy memories I don’t know if I have a right to feel creating pictures in my mind. Baking cookies, looking at stars, burned dinners, and laughs. They morph into pictures of Mom. Of her trying to do the same kinds of things with me, but my heart fighting the happiness just out of reach.
It doesn’t make sense—my feelings for either of them. It’s not that I don’t love my parents; it’s that I don’t know how.
Melody’s green eyes are teary when she sits down. Her red hair shorter and tied into a little ponytail in the back.
She picks up the phone, so I do the same. “Coral. I can’t believe you’re here. It’s so good to see you.”
“My name is not Coral.” She flinches as though my words are a slap to the face. The anger in them surprises even me.
“You’re right. Leila. I’m sorry.”
That makes me laugh. Melody’s eyes crease in confusion as she looks at me, making more of the past flicker in, turning my feelings into a tornado of sadness and anger. “Funny you should call me that because I’m not Leila anymore either. You took that away from me. Did you know that?” My eyes dart down because it’s hard to look at her, but then I focus on what I came to do and tilt my head up again.
The phone in her hand shakes but she doesn’t hang it up. She sits there, listening, waiting. That’s one thing she has in common with my real mom. They’re both strong.
“I never thought I would come here. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was because I was scared of hating you more or not hating you enough.”
Melody nods, her face wet with tears.
“My mom and dad, did you know they tried to call me Coral at first because they thought it would be easier on me? Because I didn’t know how to be Leila and all they wanted was to find a way for me to be happy. Then… then I felt guilty, guilty because they kept my room the same and had pictures of me all over their house. They missed Leila and they thought she came home but I was Coral instead.”
Wetness rolls down my face. I’m crying. God, I’m crying and I didn’t even know it.
“So I told them to call me Leila. I tried, tried so damn hard to be the girl they lost but I never could. They did game nights instead of movie nights like we did. We went together somewhere as a family once a month. Mom never, ever got so busy she forgot to cook dinner and at first I hated her for it. Hated her for not being like you, for not being who I was used to.”
Now that the words are flowing, I can’t stop them. My brain and mouth are working together without me having the ability to stop them. I hate that my words hurt Melody but I need to evict them from me if I ever want to be free. And as much as it pains me, she hurt me too. She needs to know that.
“For years it went that way. Hell, it still is. I’m fucking trapped in between two lives, neither of which are mine and both adding this weight to my chest because in some ways they both feel wrong and they both feel right.”
“Cor—Leila. I’m sorry. I can never tell you how sorry I am but I wanted… the moment I saw you I fell in love. We loved you so much.”
“Love?” There’s that word again. The one that makes people hurt and still it threatens to take over my heart. “I used to believe you. I wanted to but now I don’t know. You didn’t know me when you stole me. How could you have loved me?”